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“No!” She winced at the gust of frigid air, goose bumps peppering her arms. “I thought you of all people would understand how important this moment is for TJ, and how important it is that we protect his feelings—”
“He should know the truth about his dad. He should know Sheenan is no good, and has a criminal record a mile long—”
“That’s not true. The only time he’s ever been in trouble was for fighting,” she protested through chattering teeth. She was cold all the way through. “Now, I’m freezing, and I’m sure you’re freezing and we both would love to be inside and getting married. So let me send Trey on his way, and you go tell our guests that I’m coming, and we’ll still have our wedding day, okay?”
Seconds ticked by. Lawrence ground his teeth together, then shook his head. “I don’t like this.”
“I know. I don’t either. But he’ll be gone soon and everything will be fine. I promise.”
Lawrence stalked off, and ushered the gawkers in the doorway back inside.
McKenna waited for the tall wooden doors to close before turning to Trey, who’d wrapped TJ in his suit jacket.
“Your timing sucks,” she said bluntly.
His broad shoulders shifted. “I tried to find you last night. I didn’t want to do this today.”
“When did you get out?”
“Yesterday.”
For a moment there was just silence, and the cold air whistling through the valley. McKenna was so chilled now she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel warm again. “Who told you?”
“Troy. Just before we reached Marietta.” He exhaled. “I wished you’d told me. A letter…just a few lines…”
She said nothing. He was right. It would have been the right thing to tell him. The decent thing. But her relationship with Trey wasn’t easy. Her feelings weren’t simple, nor easily managed, at least, not when it came to him. The only way she’d been able to move on was to do it full stop. Cold turkey.
It’d hurt like hell. She’d suffered, especially as each of his frantic letters arrived, but she’d reached the end of her rope. She had nothing left. Not for him, or them. She barely could keep it together for TJ, and that was the only thing that kept her from falling apart completely.
TJ needed one whole, healthy, available parent.
He needed her to be the whole, healthy, available parent. He depended on her for everything.
And so she stopped reading Trey’s letters. She took down Trey’s photos. She boxed up his extra jackets and boots and things he’d left at the apartment and dropped them off at the Graff Hotel, leaving them for Troy to deal with.
And gradually TJ stopped asked about his dad. They stopped discussing Trey. There was no mention of a dad, or a dad in prison. It was almost as if Trey had never been in the picture.
But seeing TJ and Trey together in the courtyard, McKenna knew she’d gotten it all wrong. TJ hadn’t forgotten his father. It might have been two years since he last saw his dad, but TJ knew exactly who he was, and where he’d been, and from the wondrous look in his blue eyes, it wasn’t going to be easy peeling TJ out of Trey’s arms.”
“TJ, honey,” she said. “We need to go back inside. We still have the wedding and the party after—”
“Is Dad coming?” TJ asked hopefully.
“No, honey.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s not…invited.” Her stomach felt heavy, as if she’d swallowed a rock.
TJ wrapped his arm around Trey’s neck. “Can I invite him?”
“No, babe. But you’ll see him again…” Her voice faded. She struggled to smile, her eyes hot and gritty. It hurt to look at TJ and Trey together. “Soon.”
“When?”
She blinked, clearing her vision. “After Christmas, after we get back from Disney World.”
“Can Daddy come?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s…a honeymoon.”
“But—”
“TJ, no.” Her voice cracked. “Now say goodbye and don’t be sad, because you’ll see your dad in early January.”
“Your mom’s right,” Trey said gruffly, putting TJ down. “No need to be sad. I’ll be here when you get back.”
TJ clung to Trey’s fingers. “How long will you be here?”
“Forever,” Trey answered.
TJ frowned. “You’re not going back to jail?”
“No.”
“What about the dogs? Will they get you?”
Trey crouched down and stared TJ in the eyes. “That was a joke. Your great aunt Karen was being funny. There are no dogs. No one is coming to get me.” He clapped his hand on TJ’s shoulder. “I’m home, son. For good.”
“You’re going to live with us?”
“With you and Mom and Lawrence? No, bud. I’ll be at the ranch. Grandpa’s ranch. You know, where Uncle Dillon lives.”
“TJ doesn’t go out there much,” McKenna said quietly, uncomfortably.
Trey glanced at her for a split second, expression inscrutable, before returning his attention to TJ. “You’ll live with your mom and Lawrence, but you’ll see me. Evenings and weekends…whenever we can work it out.”
TJ frowned. “But why do we have to live with Lawrence if you’re not in jail anymore?”
“Because your mom loves Lawrence.”
“But you’re my dad.”
“Yes, and I’ll still be your dad, even when—” Trey broke off, took a deep breath, finishing, “—they’re married.”
“I don’t know why they have to be married if you’re here.”
Trey clasped TJ’s face in his hands and pressed a swift kiss to his forehead. “When you’re grown up, you’ll understand.” He stood, and looked at McKenna. “I’m going to want to see him, Mac,” he said roughly, using his nickname for her. “I need you to promise me that you won’t keep us apart.”
“I’d never do that.”
“Or let Lawrence keep TJ away,” he added.
“He wouldn’t do that, either.”
Trey’s laugh was low and mocking. “I don’t believe that for a second, and neither should you. I want a promise. A cross your heart promise.”
A cross your heart promise. That was the promise they used to make to each other…
Cross my heart, I promise to always love you…
Cross my heart, I promise to one day marry you…
Cross my heart, we’ll raise our baby together…
She swallowed hard. “I promise. Cross my heart.”
He nodded, apparently satisfied. “Now go inside before the two of you freeze to death.” And then he was off, walking to his truck at the curb, his black dress shirt billowing from an icy blast of wind.
*
Trey was halfway down the front steps when TJ let out a shriek and came running after him, his shoes ringing on the pavement. “Daddy, wait! Wait!”
“Stop, TJ!” McKenna’s voice rose, short, sharp, firm.
“Daddy, don’t go!”
Trey kept walking. He couldn’t stop. Couldn’t turn around. Couldn’t look at his son or see his face, or those bright blue eyes. Couldn’t let himself remember how good it felt to hold TJ in his arms, his son
safe warm and good and still so very innocent.
TJ’s innocence mattered. He was just a little boy. He deserved good things, and good people. He deserved to be protected. Which was why Trey had worried all these years, worried that while he was in prison McKenna and TJ were vulnerable. He’d worried about their safety, and their financial security. He’d worried that without him there to protect them, something horrible might happen, just as it had happened on the Douglas ranch when McKenna was just a thirrteen year old girl.
Trey shuddered at the curb’s edge, his heart and mind in conflict.
McKenna needed Trey to walk away now. But did TJ?
Would leaving now be the right thing for his son?
He hesitated on the curb, hearing TJ’s fast light steps behind him. The boy was running, his breathing ragged.
It tore at him, wounding him.
His boy running after him, wanting him, and he just leaving…
“TJ!” McKenna shouted again, louder, more frantic.
Teeth grinding tight, Trey stepped off the curb and into the street. He had to honor McKenna’s wishes. He had to respect her. He had to be a man of integrity—
“Dad!”
TJ’s panicked scream filled the air as Trey opened the truck door and climbed inside the cab even as he wondered how did a man live like this? Survive a life like this? He felt cursed. Broken. He loved McKenna and TJ but it didn’t matter. He’d screwed up. Messed up. And he was always going to pay…
“Daddy!” TJ’s voice rose higher. “Wait! Wait for me!”
Trey had just put the keys in the ignition but now he froze, shoulders hunching.
Wait.
Wait for me.
But that was all Trey had done, the past four years. Wait, and wait, and wait.
The pain roared through him, hot, blistering. This was hell….pure hell…
And then suddenly TJ was there, climbing into the truck, his arms wrapping around Trey’s neck.
“Don’t go,” TJ begged, voice trembling, “not without me.”
Prison was bad, Trey thought, heart on fire, but this was so much worse.
This…there were no words for this…
Trey held TJ tight, breathing in his son’s warmth and sweetness, aware that TJ belonged with his mom. By law, TJ belonged to his mom. There was nothing he could do at this point. Nothing he could do but reassure TJ that he loved him, and would always love him. “I can’t take you now, son,” he murmured, “but one day it’ll be different. One day we will be together and do fun stuff together. Hiking and fishing and camping. Sports, too—”
