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I could see he struggled and, again, I wondered which Baker would make an appearance. Hoping to help, I added, “I love you, Baker Daley.”
“Why won’t you take me into your playroom, then? You handle me like some kind of fragile butterfly that might get my wings damaged if you fuck me too hard!” He took a deep breath, clearly on a roll after he’d gotten past his initial hesitation. “You’re on the phone with somebody, whispering about something you don’t want me to hear. That makes you look guilty. When I walk into the room, you slam your laptop shut like it has the winning lottery numbers on it and you’re afraid I’ll see them! I…I know that I’m inexperienced and probably not anywhere close to the best lay you’ve ever had, but I thought I’d made it pretty damn clear that I’m willing to give anything a try. It’s…it’s like you aren’t even giving me a chance, Seth,” he accused. His eyes filled with tears when he said, “You’re everything to me and I want to be that for you. If you’ll just give me a chance, I think I can give you what you need. I…I just need that chance, Seth. Why aren’t you giving it to me?”
This time, I felt the tears streaming down my face. I’d never been in love before; I didn’t know how to handle situations like this. I had no clue how to fix my fuck-ups. Honesty…just like I’d told Baker earlier.
“You’re already everything to me, Baker,” I said. “What don’t you think you’re giving me?”
“Sex. Submission.” He quickly answered. “Those are the two things that I can give you, but you aren’t allowing me to do either. Submission is something I’m good at and I’ll learn to be better at the other.”
If he got any better at it, he’d kill me.
“What do you think my role is in this relationship?”
“Huh?”
“You said that I wouldn’t take you to my playroom, correct?” He nodded. “It’s because the doctor says you have an injury, Baker. It’s my privilege to take care of you in every possible way. I’m not here just to fuck and dominate you. I’m here to love you, Baker, and loving you will sometimes mean taking care of you when you’re sick. It’s been my honor to do things to help you heal.”
He frowned.
“I also question my own ability to…hold back and not be too rough while you’re injured. Your safety has and will always be my top priority.”
He held his hand up. “Oh…no, no, no. We aren’t turning this around on me…making it my fault! I see what you’re trying to do,” he accused. “You’re distracting me by saying all those things you know I want to hear. It isn’t going to work, Seth,” he huffed. “What about the phone calls? Computer shit? What about those?”
He looked quite pleased with himself…and hurt at the same time. “What disciplinary number are you on right now, Baker?” I’d been collecting disciplinary points since our first day in Arizona. Once the doctor did finally release him, he wouldn’t be sitting down for a full month.
“Three hundred and twelve…not that it matters, I guess,” he answered.
“Make that three hundred and thirteen, please,” I countered. “Baker Daley, I’m in love with you. You stole my heart from me when I wasn’t looking, and I don’t ever want you to give it back. I’ve planned this night for several weeks…which led to my being distracted…and whispering on the phone…and computer secrets. I’m sorry, babe. I turned something that should have been one of the most beautiful nights of our lives into something that ended up being hurtful to you. Please don’t ever doubt me again, Baker. I love you. Only you. Always you.”
He tapped his fingers against the bedding. Both hands.
“Well…I kinda feel like shit now,” he mumbled. Looking up at me, with those bewitching blue yes, he asked, “You want me to go back and crawl down the hall?”
Even with the tears streaking down my face, I burst out laughing. Only he could do that to me. It was Baker Daley from that first day and always would be Baker Daley. “I ought to make you,” I answered between laughs.
“You were trying to piss me off, weren’t you?” he asked.
“Yes, babe. I didn’t like the sad Baker. I like my sassy Baker. I thought the ‘kiss my cock’ would do it, but you held out longer than I expected.”
“Do I still get my present?” he asked playfully. “Cause if it’s a puppy, we need to get it out of that box. I don’t see any air holes and it isn’t making any noise.” He winked at me. “Permission to open present, Sir?”
The coward in me wanted to run and hide. The Dom in me answered, “Permission granted.”
