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My heart gave a little lurch, but I tried to hide it as best I could. I’d thought I was making headway with him, but if he was so resistant to learning discipline, then where were we? It was the heart of a D/s relationship, which is what I’d dreamed about for us. My kink may have been totally different from Seth and Baker’s, but I was a Dom, dammit. And Ari would make the perfect sub. He liked the ropes; he was an exhibitionist; he was absolutely delicious in every way—but if he didn’t want my control, that pretty much put an end to my dreams about having a life style anything like what I really enjoyed.
I’d give it up for him—in a heartbeat. I was that far gone into him. But would I regret it one day? Would a vanilla relationship be enough for me? Even with a side helping of ropes and a little exhibitionist kink? I’d hope it would be. But I just didn’t know.
“I’m not like Baker! I don’t like someone telling me what to do during sex. And certainly not outside the bedroom. I’ve had enough of that in my life! I don’t want anyone telling me what to do and how to do it!”
“I see.”
He put a hand under my chin and raised my face to his. “I loved everything else about today,” he said, his lips curving into a smile. It was the best birthday a guy ever had in every other respect. Just…I don’t like to be bossed around, you know?”
“No bossing. Okay…got it. You hate the idea of discipline.” I turned away from him before he could see the disappointment in my face and sat up on the side of the bed. “Well, I think I’ll go shave and clean up a bit before I get dressed for dinner.”
“Eli?” he said, as I stood up.
I turned to look down at him, and he reached for my hand, twining his fingers into mine. God, he was so beautiful.
“Yes, Arizona?”
“Arizona? You sound so formal. You aren’t mad at me, are you?”
“No, of course not.” Gently, I pulled my fingers away. “Get up and find something sexy to wear. You wanted to go to the upper deck tonight, right? To experiment a little? We can come back here after we eat and get changed.”
“Okay,” he said softly, obviously picking up on my mood. I had to shake it off. I really did want him to be happy and if sowing a few wild oats would do that for him, then I’d try to be supportive and not tear some guy’s head off for looking at him. After all, he’d come on this cruise to have fun. I had to see to it that he got what he wanted. Somehow, I had to do that for him.
After I shaved and splashed on cologne, I went back out to the main room, smiling at Ari as he slipped past me on his way into the bathroom. I went over to the closet and found my clothes for dinner, which on this cruise, was always a little formal. I put on a dark suit and silk tie, then turned as I felt a pair of arms slip around my waist. I raised both arms to the sides and turned in a slow half circle, letting him get a good look.
Ari whistled softly under his breath and stepped in closer, hands reaching up to my biceps so he could squeeze them under his fingers. “You clean up nice,” he said, smiling at me. “I don’t think I ever saw you in a suit before.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I said, looking down at him appreciatively. He was wearing tan trousers with a dark brown silk shirt that set off his porcelain skin and made me want to lick him all over. He stood up on the tip of his toes to brush his lips over my jaw. I moved my hands down his back in a slow, deliberate motion, imagining all that silken skin underneath. The skin I’d had my tongue on earlier.
“You’re not mad at me, are you? For what I said earlier about the discipline thing?”
“Not if that’s the way you feel. I want you to be honest with me.”
“It’s just that I don’t like the idea of having someone boss me around. Telling me what to do all the time. I think that’s my biggest problem with the whole BDSM thing.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks for understanding,” he said softly, moving his hands to my ass as he captured my lips again. I guess it’s good that you’re not really into all that, right?”
“Sure thing,” I said, hating the lie, but feeling caught in it now. “Come on, let’s go eat. I’m starving.”
“After that big lunch you ate? I thought you’d have had enough.”
