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It would be hard to explain something I didn’t truly understand myself, but I was going to try. That’s what Landon didn’t understand—I’d try anything for him. “I started my modeling career when I was about four years old and it never really slowed down, just gained momentum.” I shrugged. “Mostly because of who my parents are, not my own looks, but either way, it’s been successful. We work crazy hours, travel constantly, and are normally surrounded by the same people, day in and day out. In other words, I didn’t have a lot of time to focus on sex. Am I a virgin? Absolutely not. Am I close to being a virgin?” I laughed. “Quite possibly. As far as thinking I was straight and then being attracted to you—that doesn’t scare me in the least. The modeling world is one of the few industries where everything goes…except being overweight—they talk shit about you for that. Fuckers. Like being skin and bones makes you more or less beautiful than the next person, right?”
“You don’t speak very highly of your profession, babe,” he remarked dryly as his fingers continued to toy with my hands and wrists.
“I don’t think very highly of it, I guess,” I answered truthfully. “I mean, it’s all I know and probably all I’ll ever be good at, but it wouldn’t have been my profession of choice.”
“What would be your profession of choice?” Landon asked. There was a mix between a frown and a scowl on his face.
“Pancake taster,” I quipped. “Since being around you, I’ve become obsessed with the things.” Then, in a more somber voice because it was way too close to the truth and a future I could never have, I said, “A veterinarian, probably. I love animals—absolutely love them.”
“Ahh, are you a dog person or a cat person?”
A flash of sadness passed through me. I didn’t have a clue which I preferred since I’d never been allowed to have a pet. We traveled too much. They were too hard to care for. One excuse and then another. I pushed the sadness back so it wouldn’t intrude on any of my time with Landon. “Not a clue; I’ve never had either. Modeling is a lonesome career. What about you? Cat or dog?”
He took a deep breath. And then another. After several long seconds, he said, “Can I tell you something that’s probably going to hurt your feelings but needs to be said?”
My heart plummeted. “Uh…sure…I guess. I mean, if it needs to be said, then go ahead.” I knew I wasn’t super at social skills, but what could I have already said to fuck everything up?
“I’m not certain I like your parents very much. There; I said it. I don’t want you to be angry with me, but it’s how I feel. If you’ve been forced into a career you don’t enjoy and this particular career has damaged other parts of your life, it makes me angry. Very angry, actually.”
His hands had tightened the grip on my wrists. It made me feel like he really wanted to protect me.
“I might not even like Eli, either. He’s a fucking man and he let this shit go on?”
Was it wrong that the madder he got, the warmer and happier it made me feel? Probably was, but I wasn’t used to it and I liked it.
I cocked a brow at him. “I get the feeling you aren’t a huge Eli fan? Why is that?”
“I’ve got my reasons,” he growled. “Stop changing the subject. Does it make you angry at me for feeling that way?”
“Nope. I’m actually quite flattered; most people don’t give a second thought to what I think about anything.” This time, I laced my fingers with his and waited to see if he would pull away from my touch. When I didn’t, I held tight. “You’re wrong about them, though. Don’t blame my mom, Sammie, or Eli for problems that are my fault.”
“That’s very noble of you, Micah, but they are the adults. They should not be using you the way they are.”
“First of all, I’m an adult,” I argued. “I’m about to show you just how much of an adult I am when we get to the hotel room. Second,” I took a deep breath and wondered if I was about to make a huge mistake but continued anyway, “I’m about to tell you something I’ve never told another human being. Can I trust you?”
I felt his entire body tighten and his jaw clenched. “Of course you can trust me, Micah. I’m here to protect you.”
Well, that wasn’t the response I’d wanted to hear.
“I told my father years ago that I didn’t enjoy modeling—that I didn’t enjoy any of it. Long before I was old enough to make business decisions for myself, I asked him to let me quit.”
