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I make that grumbly noise again that sounds like chewing rocks between my teeth. “My demeanor isn’t the reason I’ve had to fire nannies. Them not knowing how to take care of my son, how to keep him safe, how to do the basics, is.”
“Basics. Hmm. We’ll see.”
Jesus. The way Feeney looks at me, her face perfectly innocent but somehow still challenging, makes me feel like I’m the one being interviewed. This girl has courage, I’ll give her that. Girl. I know she’s almost twenty-three. I’m thirty. That’s not that much difference.
Maybe I just feel really fucking old.
Centuries old.
“Alright. Fuck it. You can have the job. It’s a flat rate of one hundred and fifty per day, free room on the second floor right next to Shade’s. Free meals if you can cook them, and by if, I hope you can because I don’t want my son to starve. Try and make them as nutritious as possible, although good luck with trying to get a four year old to eat anything, even if by some miracle, you do produce something that is edible. I do have cleaners that come, but I don’t like the house to be an ungodly mess for them, so picking up is a must, especially toys. You can have a day off if you need it, without pay, if you tell me in advance. You’ll be responsible for keeping track of any and all of Shade’s appointments. He’s just turned four so he won’t be going into kindergarten this year but I might pay for pre-school. I haven’t decided yet, but if I do send him, you’ll be responsible to drive him. I do hope you drive.”
“Yes.”
“Good. I have a car you can use. You’ll do the shopping. Grocery shopping and anything else I need. If Shade needs something- clothes, shoes, anything, you’ll be the one who gets them. If Shade is sick, you don’t get a day off. I have a demanding work schedule and that’s part of the reason I need a nanny. I don’t take days off. I work seven days a week. Sometimes, I work from home in the office upstairs, and it’s vital that things are pretty quiet during that time. I do make sure that I’m home by five every night to spend the evening with Shade. It’s less vital that you’re around during that time, but I still might need you. If you want to take a break during those hours, please ask and have your phone with you so I can get in touch if I need to.”
“Okay.” She pauses. “Yeah. Okay. I can see why you need a nanny.” She pauses again. Her face gets a pinched, curious look and I know she can’t help herself. “Why Shade? That’s a unique name.”
“By unique you mean stupid.”
Feeney’s lips curl up. Not in a snarl. Half in surprise, half in challenge, half a smile. “By unique I mean unique.”
No, this woman isn’t exactly pretty, but I can see how some men would find her beautiful. Normal men. Men who appreciate intelligence, wit, and spirit more than they do big boobs, a big butt, and massive lips. Most men would also probably appreciate her family’s money. I can’t imagine what kind of dates Feeney’s been on. Or endured. It can’t be easy, that’s for sure.
Unexpectedly, I feel myself softening just a little.
Other men would find her pretty, but I can’t. I can’t because I’m a thousand years old. Because my eyes don’t work properly. Because my emotions are shot. Because if I didn’t have a son, I know I would have crawled into the grave right alongside Britt and let them bury me too.
“Fine especially since this is coming from someone who calls herself Feeney.”
“It was my grandma’s name, and it’s special. She died before I was born.”
“Shade’s name is special too.” I should leave it at that. I shouldn’t be an asshole, but I can’t help myself. I guess it’s just a habit now. “His mother gave it to him because it meant something to her, and she’s also dead.”
I expect Feeney to get all weird and try to give me platitudes and say sorry and talk about grief like everyone else as if they know all about it when they haven’t lost a damn thing ever. But, instead, she keeps her face controlled and nods.
“I know. That’s why you need a nanny. And by unique, I meant unique, really. I did think it was kind of strange at first, but I have to admit it’s grown on me. Your wife did a good job with the name. And I’m sure with everything else too. I’m sure I’ll never measure up, and you’ll probably hate me, but if your son likes me, I hope you keep me around and give me some grace for his sake. Deal?”
