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I didn't want to write. I felt like I was losing Hazel. What I wanted more than anything was to get the hell out of there and maybe find a drink. I hurried up to my room, packed my bags, and left as quickly as I could. I didn't bother to seek out Hazel or talk to her before I caught the shuttle into town. I was too angry. I just needed to be alone. Jay's words had affected me too much for me to think rationally.Chapter Nine - HazelIt had been a few weeks into the retreat, and I was still excited since I had accomplished a lot more than I expected to with my novel in a short amount of time. I was proud and eager to share my work with people. I had already told Jay, who had proven to be a very supportive friend. However, there was one person that I was incredibly excited to share my work with, that was Alex.
It occurred to me that I hadn't seen my mentor in some time. In fact, I didn't remember seeing him at all during those weeks. That was something that needed to be fixed immediately. I brushed my hair and gave myself a once over in the mirror before I left my room. Hurrying over to Alex’s room, I knocked on the door. I waited for a few minutes, but there was no answer. Knocking again, I waited longer.
Getting frustrated with waiting, I went downstairs to search for him. I asked around, but no one had seen him in a while, not even Jay. Fed up, I went and asked at the front desk. All they could tell me was that when housekeeping went up a few weeks ago, Alex’s room was empty. They just assumed he left the retreat.
“Thank you,” I told the concierge as I walked away from the reception desk in anger.
I went back to my room because I needed to be alone and let my emotions out. I couldn't believe he just disappeared like that. No, wait, I could. Alex had done it before, so I didn't know why I thought now would be any different.
I was so frustrated and angry with him that it felt like I hated him and didn't want anything more to do with him. He proved once again that he was nothing more than a coward. Once things got to be too difficult or required effort on his part, he just ran off.
Well, that was fine with me. I was much better off without him since I was free to concentrate on my writing now like I was initially supposed to. I didn't have the additional worry of having to motivate Alex anymore.
Fueled by my anger and other emotions, I sat at my desk and began to write. It was around eleven AM when I started. By the time I stopped, it was almost six at night. I couldn't believe I had written that much, but I did feel a little proud, though when I saw the stack of pages before me.
Deciding that was enough work, for now, I grabbed my papers to put them away. I was moving around when my stomach suddenly felt funny, like waves of nausea, which was weird because I hadn't eaten all day. I had been too focused on Alex and my writing.
I told myself, “Maybe I just worked too hard and need a bit to eat.” However, the mere thought of food made me gag. Weird. I reached for a bottle of water that was sitting on my desk. Maybe a small sip would calm my stomach.
As soon as the water slid down my throat, I could feel it coming back up. I ran to the bathroom and vomited out all the water into the toilet. After a few moments of heaving, I flushed the toilet and went to wash my face. My body felt tired and shaky. I could already feel the nausea again.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. “It can be,” I said to myself in disbelief. I waited a few minutes for the nausea to pass, grabbed my purse, and left the room. I went down to the lobby and asked the concierge, “Could you tell me where the nearest drug store is?”
“Yes, there's one right down the street from us. It's a really close walk,” he informed me with a smile.
“Thank you!” I replied as I left in a hurry.
I practically jogged over to the store, bought what I needed, and ran back to my room, wanting to be back in case I threw up again. Sitting on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, I waited for the results of the pregnancy test I had just taken, counting down the seconds on my phone. When it was time, I took a deep breath, then nervously reached for the test.
