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I looked away nervously, not sure how to tell him.
He reached out and patted my hand gently. “We're friends, Hazel. You can trust me and tell me anything.” Jay spoke in a comforting tone to me. His words made me feel better, and I began to breathe a little easier.
“You're right. Do you promise not to tell anyone?” I asked. I needed to be absolutely sure before I said anything to him.
He nodded. “I promise.”
I took a deep breath and leaned forward. “I'm pregnant,” I whispered.
He looked around quickly to make sure no one was near us before giving me a sympathetic hug. Jay knew I was keeping other stuff from him, but he didn't push the issue. “Well, I'm your friend, and I'm here if you need me. And thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me,” he replied.
I smiled at him. “Of course, no need to thank me,” I replied.
After our hug, the conversation took a serious turn. “So, are you going to raise the baby on your own?” he asked quietly. Jay knew I was by myself, and he didn't pressure me for details about the situation with Alex, which was a relief.
I looked at the ground as I answered. “I have to. I have no other options, really.”
Which was the truth. I was literally on my own with a baby. No matter how old Alex was, he was always going to behave like an immature child. He could be of no use to the baby and me because he kept acting like that.
“Well, I am here for you. I'll help in any way I can. In fact, I think I'll go research some information for you. I had just finished writing for the day anyway,” Jay said with a smile.
I gave him a friendly hug. “Thank you! That means so much to me!”
He smiled again and squeezed my hand before walking away.
I was left in the conference room by myself. Other people were walking around the open space, but I paid no attention to them. Torn between nausea and hunger, I just sat there and waited for one of those feelings to take over. I was also waiting for the excitement to kick in.
So far, this pregnancy had made me feel nervous and a little scared. I knew I was strong enough to handle it, but it was still daunting to do it all on my own. I should be used to it, though, because that's the way my life had been since dad died.
I decided I needed to be alone in my room. After walking down the street to the drug store and buying a bunch of snacks to satisfy my pregnancy cravings, I sat at my desk, eating them as I read through everything I had written so far. About halfway through my snacks, nausea kicked in, and I had to run to the bathroom.
I needed to prepare myself to endure this during the next few months. My head spun a little as I thought about all the things I needed to do. Sitting back at the desk, I wrote out the most essential stuff. The writing distracted me from the nausea, and I was able to hold the rest of my food down for now.
Even though it was only simple stuff, I still enjoyed writing it all down. Plus, it also kept me from dwelling on Alex and getting angry all over again. I didn’t know if extreme emotions were good for the baby, so I made a note to research that kind of stuff later.Chapter Twelve - AlexIt had been a frustrating and disappointing day. What should have been an easy task proved impossible. The plan Gibson and I came up with had failed. The people in charge of the writers’ retreat had refused to let me back in, stating that I had left for too long and would be behind. At least I made an effort to clean up my mistake with Hazel, but I still felt like it wasn't good enough. Gibson had offered me his sincere apologies before I left the retreat.
Once again, I had my suitcase in hand and headed back to the airport. I just wanted to be alone for a while and wallow in my self-pity before I had to catch a flight back home. As I sat there with my suitcase at my feet, I started to wonder if maybe the universe was trying to tell me that I had waited too long to fix my mistakes. I laughed that one away. I didn't believe in stuff like that.
That was enough feeling sorry for myself for one day.
I look around in my suitcase for my ticket home. I needed to go to the desk and ask the attendant if they could change the date to today.
