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Josh had fucked me so good that I had to hold back tears. And then, he fell asleep, softly snoring as I got dressed and tiptoed out of the room.
That wasn’t the first time that I had been there to console him after a breakup, and we ended up sleeping together. It had happened a few times, actually — five times this year already after the five other girls that he had broken up with or had broken up with him.
The next day after it happened, we wouldn’t talk. In fact, it was almost as if we were avoiding each other. I remember standing at the mirror in my bedroom, brushing my long, dark brown hair the morning after he had broken up with Christa. I saw him in the window next door staring at me then diving onto the floor behind the bed. I knew that he had seen me, but I wasn’t ready to have a conversation about what had happened between us, if Josh had even remembered. I was pretty sure that he did because it took us a few days to even start talking again. And we were sure to avoid any type of romantic conversation.
I knew the reason for the avoidance was because our sleeping together could ruin our friendship. It was almost like we made a silent agreement not to talk about it and to move on, leaving the incidents in our rearview.
At any rate, we were both being deployed for the second time since we were in the same squad.
“We’re driving down to Camp Haan Army Base tomorrow,” I said to Monica, pushing my fries around on my plate, watching the grease ooze from them.
“Together?” asked Monica, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.
“Yes,” I said, laughing at the silly look on her face. “The road trip will take a few days, so it will save gas for us to go together.”
“Well, you know how I feel about things,” my friend said, pointing at me. Life is too short not to enjoy it. You know what? Maybe a road trip is exactly what you need to get you two out of the Friend Zone and into Lover’s Lane.”
“I’m not too sure that that’s something I want,” I admitted to her quietly.
“Oh, here you go,” she said, sucking air through her teeth. “You’re afraid of commitment. I know. But sooner or later, you’re going to have to open up to someone, or you’ll spend the rest of your life all alone.”
Monica’s last words hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that she was right. I had worked so hard for years to keep men at arm’s length so that I wouldn’t have to face the idea of commitment. As a matter of fact, Joshua was the only person that I could open up to and be vulnerable with. I was too afraid of losing him to risk pursuing anything else with him.
However, I wasn’t ready to admit all of that to Monica just yet, so I just sipped my drink and listened as she rambled on about her latest boy toy.Chapter Two - JoshuaI threw a few pair of socks into my duffel bag as I moved quickly around the room. I was being deployed to Yemen, so I had to pack and get ready to go to California. Even though a large part of me hated being deployed because I will miss home so much, but I was excited about taking the ride to California with Nadia.
As if on cue, my phone rang.
“Hey, punk,” my best friend teased, calling me the name she had jokingly called me for years. “Are you about ready to go, or you’ve still got your panties in a bunch?”
I chuckled and shook my head, even though she couldn’t see. “Yeah, I’m about ready,” I said, throwing my toothbrush into my bag — the last thing that I needed to pack. “I’ll meet you around the front in ten.”
I hung up the phone and took one last look around my room. I had this sinking feeling that maybe I wouldn’t return to it but quickly dismissed the thought. I had to come back. I had so much more planned for my future.
Heading outside, I threw my bag in the trunk of my ’55 Thunderbird. I figured if we were going on a road trip, we might as well go in style. Nadia had always loved my Thunderbird and had even helped me fix it once when the catalytic converter went out.
“Finally,” she said, rounding the corner from the back of her house towards mine. “I thought I was going to have to send the calvary in after you.”
I laughed again lightly, running a hand absentmindedly through my curly, dark brown hair. I knew that I was due for a haircut but figured that I would wait until the barber on base cut it. I wanted to spend as much time being my normal, unkempt self until I absolutely had no choice. And they don’t give you much of an option in the army.
