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Despite the heat, I leaned closer to the small portable stove that was boiling my lone pot of coffee. The building we had spent the night in had no windows, the result of a bombing last month, but most of the walls were sound.
As the coffee boiled, I checked my helmet. One of our last maneuvers resulted in a slight dent to the mental, I didn’t think it was from a bullet. The gash was too irregular, more like shrapnel. Though, sometimes it was hard to tell.
On typical mornings, I would pull out Nadia’s picture and look at it. It was one of her in her dress uniform, looking severe — not like the sensual woman I knew she could be. Every day that we were apart was a knife in my heart, but it was better than having her here in this hell. Sadly, one of my crew caught me with the picture. He told the rest of the unit, and the photo was gone the next day, stolen from my pack. Now all I had nothing to remember my girl by.
The silence was getting to me. There was something about that morning that felt different. As the others woke and got to their feet, they seemed to feel it too. No one spoke. Everyone moved in careful, quiet steps. As we prepared to go out into the streets, all of the soldiers were deathly silent. The only sound that could be heard was the clicking of guns being loaded.
The road narrowed. A blown-out car lying on its side blocked our path. Before we could even figure out what was happening, we were hit by crossfire. There was a loud explosion that made my ears ring and knocked me over.
I laid in the dirt for a few minutes, not sure if the attack was over. Looking over, I saw that several of my fellow soldiers had been hit. Some had their eyes wide open and laid so still that I knew that they were dead. We gathered those that we could and headed back to the building. It wasn’t until we got back inside that I looked down and noticed a trail of blood running down my pants leg.
I took my pants off. I had been hit in the leg by a stray bullet. One of the medics patched me up and wrapped my leg so that the bleeding would stop. As I rested on the concrete floor, I was approached by Officer Jones, one of the superior officers.
“Soldier,” he said, saluting me.
“Sir, yes sir,” I said, trying to stand to salute him back, only to fall back onto the ground, a sharp pain searing through my leg.
“Don’t try to stand, soldier,” he said, motioning for me to stay seated and knelt on the ground across from me. “I just wanted to be the first to inform you that you and the rest of your unit will be returning to the base in the states. We would like to take this time to thank you for your service.”
“Thank you, sir,” I said.
I knew that I was one of the lucky ones because he could give me the news in person. Others hadn’t been so lucky, and their families would be getting letters and their belongings. Their loved ones wouldn’t be returning home.
In the days before leaving, I shut down completely. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone, even Nadia. I just wanted to be left alone completely.
A large part of me regretted not going along with her plan and saying that I had a drinking problem. That way, I wouldn’t have been shot in the leg, and we could have started our lives together. Instead, I had a terrible injury that I would have to recover from.
I was overcome with feelings of disappointment and remorse. And I wasn’t sure if it would ever go away.
***
As soon as our plane landed back in the states, we were rushed to the hospital, where some of us had to be checked out. I had gotten an infection in my leg, so while we were in Germany, they put me on antibiotics and keep an eye on me. Between that and the pain medicine, I felt pretty out of it. That was why I thought that I was dreaming when I woke up, and Nadia was sitting next to me.
“Hey, punk,” she said, smiling sweetly, reaching her hand out and placing it gently on mine.
“Hey,” I said, my voice groggy and low.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, rubbing my hand.
I tried to sit up and fell back.
“Don’t try to sit up,” she said. “They’ve got you on so many pain meds, I’m surprised you’re even awake.”
I tried to chuckle and ended up having a coughing fit.
“Yeah, well, it will take a lot more than stray bullets and drugs to keep me down,” I said, giving her a thumbs up to let her know that I was mostly okay.
