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She also seemed to stop worrying about me. At least she didn't worry quite so much. And that was a good thing for all concerned.
No matter how good things got, though, I still had a nagging feeling. Like something was missing. It wasn't just sex, either. The sex with Kora was awesome but it was obviously more than that.
I wasn't even able to get excited by the thought of another woman. I couldn't even count the number of times I had jerked off, the thought of Kora the only thing that could get me hard.
The thoughts didn't even have to be all that erotic. Really, just any old thought of her would turn me on. Her smile, her laugh, and yes, her body, made me feel over all warm and calm, except for my cock, which went into a state of raging desperation, needing her touch.
I guess it was some sort of karmic penitence for how I had been in high school. Fucking so many girls but ignoring the one I really wanted, when I should have gotten with her much earlier. Then treating her like shit when I'd finally gotten a chance with her.
Not on the mountain, as that had been her call and her right. But during my college break. She was clearly willing and ready, but I was so scared of things I had no real clue about that I had literally pushed her away.
Though it was far too late, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if it had happened then. If I had realized what was going on. That Kora had finally gotten the courage to lose her virginity and was trying to give me what she thought I wanted.
What if I had fucked and deflowered her then? Would we have stayed together? Would we be happily married with kids by now?
It was impossible to know for sure of course but it was still a nice thought. That maybe I wasn't irrevocably self-centred and awful.
If only.
If only I had been able to see what was right there, staring in my face. While doing her best to suck my cock. I think it might have been love.
I got out my phone and dialed her number. It went right to a message saying that the number was no longer in service. Certain I had gotten it wrong, I found her number on my contacts list and did that way. I got the same message.
The same would be true for the texts, so there was no point in trying that. Something I tried to remind myself of as I tried that anyway, of course getting a message not sent alert. I brought the phone back up and dialed the servants’ quarters.
"Sarah, bring the car around please."
It was nearly six, so Kora would likely be home from work. My knees shook as the limo moved through the late rush hour traffic, the few stragglers left over from the main event. There were always a few.
I had written the building number down on my phone. I didn't have the apartment number but it was a controlled entrance anyway. Rich as I was, there were limits to what I could do. Even billionaires didn't really have the ability to just pop up anywhere at anytime, like some seemed to believe. Rich as we may be, teleportation technology was still a quite elusive thing.
There was no tenants’ list next to the buzzer. Instead, I had to press the hashtag key for the on-screen directory and scroll down to the Es. No Evans. I checked twice.
Had she really moved just to avoid me?
I tapped the breaks on my ego before things got too far. Yes, she had obviously moved but there was no reason to think that it was because of me. Or at least because she was avoiding me. It was fairly safe to assume that she had other things going on in her life.
"Any luck?" Sarah asked, as I got into the back.
"I don't believe in luck," I said, getting a bottle of Irish stout from the mini fridge.
"Right, I forgot," Sarah said.
"I'll let it slide," I said, taking a sip.
"Where to now?"
"Suicide Notes."
Suicide Notes was the only record store in town that stocked vinyl in any significant way. The big box stores did too, of course, cashing in on what they saw as a trend. But they didn't have anything that was more than two years old, which was fine if you liked that kind of thing, or cost less than $50.
I could afford it. Of course I could. I could literally buy the store if I wanted to. It was the principle of the thing. I firmly believed in supporting small businesses. Especially when they were awesome.
I was usually pretty discerning when it came to records. Even though the term "collector" tended to set my teeth on edge. Not today, though. I was on what could be considered a binge, taking two or three of everything from my favorite sections.
