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We drove to my mother’s house, and I dropped Bobby off. She was a real godsend. Mom was one of the few people who knew how to deal with Bobby’s moods. He still had moments, he had them with everyone, which was why I had to get him from my mother’s that night, but she just knew how to deal with him for the most part.
“Thank you for taking him such short notice. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course! We’re going to have some fun today!”
The two of them went inside, and I turned back around to see Aiden hanging out in his car. Thankfully, he didn’t try to drop off Bobby with me. That would be quite a lot to explain to Mom. I was doing my best to keep the current situation contained. There was a high chance he wouldn’t be here tomorrow, and I wasn’t about to get my whole life wrapped up around him on a whim.
I walked over to his car and put myself in the passenger seat.
“Hey.”
“Thanks for lunch today. Bobby had a lot of fun.”
“I could tell. He really inhaled that stack of pancakes.”
I had no idea how I managed to miss my son eating pancakes like a literal monster, but there was a lot on my mind.
“Yeah, he really loves those pancakes. If he could eat them every day, I’m sure he would.”
“I was hoping we could talk.” Aiden dropped that little statement, and it went right to my chest. I wasn’t ready to talk. I knew that the second he tried in the diner. And, if we were to have this conversation, I’d rather not do it in his car.
“I have to get back to work. My friend is covering for me, but the clinic is always getting busy, and I can’t expect her to work my whole shift like that. I also gotta file some paperwork as well. Long day… ahead.”
It wasn’t a total lie. I was supposed to get myself back to work after picking Bobby up. I was already an hour behind. I knew Marnie wouldn’t mind, but I hated to put her on the spot like that. Plus, being around Aiden made my brain short circuit. I needed some distance from him, so I could think about what to do — with Bobby, with him, with this whole situation.
“Yeah, of course. But we can talk later?”
“Yeah, sure. Later.”
I got out of the car before anything more could be said. I made sure not to look back as I started my car and made my way to the clinic. Maybe it would be better to come clean to Aiden. I wouldn’t have to worry about all of this stuff if everything was out in the open. And, who knows, maybe it would all just be alright. Bobby and Aiden got on so well.
But one, one-hour lunch didn’t mean that he wanted to be a father. And, if I told Aiden, then I would have to tell Bobby. Oh, good God, Bobby! He has been such a handful. I loved my boy, but there was no way to know how he would take the news that Aiden was his father.
I’d never lied to him about his dad, but I hadn’t exactly told the truth either. Whenever he asked questions, I would manage to keep it vague. But he was getting tired of the non-answers. I could tell. It wouldn’t be a good idea to have a father pop out of nowhere. What if it made him even more disruptive? This was the kind of thing that could set him back years. Sure, it would be nice to have Aiden back on my life. Despite what I would tell myself, I still loved the fool. But I had a kid to worry about. I couldn’t just think about my happiness. I had to think about his as well.
And Bobby’s kind of been making progress talking with the counselor. Yeah, there was a setback today, but overall, Bobby had been doing a whole lot better If I threw a wrench in that right now, I’d never forgive myself.
No, I was going to leave things as is. It had been hard, but we were getting by. Bobby and I were going to be just fine, the two of us.Chapter Ten - AidenReagan never got back to me about having our little chat. I couldn’t keep following her around. Her not wanting to talk to me should have been the hint I needed to get the fuck out of Dodge, but I didn’t want to give up like I did all those years ago. One of my biggest regrets was that I didn’t fight harder for her.
I was on the verge of rushing out and abandoning my entire life to find her after reading that letter, but my mother convinced me that that plan was stupid. It was all right there, in Reagan’s handwriting, how little she wanted to be with me. Mom told me not to throw my life away for someone who didn’t even want me. Those words cut straight through my heart.
