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“Silence, woman,” Armando said. “Have you considered His Majesty’s request?”
“I’m not going to marry you, Armando. ”
“You would be queen!”
“You don’t have a throne. And last I checked, Mexico has a president, not an emperor. ”
“Drug lords threaten my people,” Armando said, inspecting the picture. “They starve, and are forced to bow to the whims of foreign powers. It is a disgrace. This picture, it is authentic. ” He handed it back.
“That’s all?” I asked. “You don’t need to do some of those computer tests?”
“Am I not the photography expert?” Armando said. “Did you not come to me with piteous supplication? I have spoken. It is real. No trickery. The photographer, however, is a buffoon. He knows nothing of the art of the craft. These pictures offend me in their utter pedestrian nature. ” He turned his back to us, looking out the window again.
“Now can I shoot him?” J. C. asked.
“I’m tempted to let you,” I said, turning over the picture. Audrey had looked at the handwriting on the back, and hadn’t been able to trace it to any of the professors, psychologists, or other groups that kept wanting to do studies on me.
I shrugged, then took out my phone. The number was local. It rang once before being picked up.
“Hello?” I said.
“May I come visit you, Mister Leeds?” A woman’s voice, with a faint Southern accent.
“Who are you?”
“The person who has been sending you puzzles. ”
“Well, I figured that part out. ”
“May I come visit?”
“I . . . well, I suppose. Where are you?”
“Outside your gates. ” The phone clicked. A moment later, chimes rang as someone buzzed the front gates.
I looked at the others. J. C. pushed his way to the window, gun out, and peeked at the front driveway. Armando scowled at him.
Ivy and I walked out of Armando’s rooms toward the steps.
“You armed?” J. C. asked, jogging up to us.
“Normal people don’t walk around their own homes with a gun strapped on, J. C. ”
“They do if they want to live. Go get your gun. ”
I hesitated, then sighed. “Let her in, Wilson!” I called, but redirected to my own rooms—the largest in the complex—and took my handgun out of my nightstand. I holstered it under my arm and put my jacket back on. It did feel good to be armed, but I’m a horrible shot.
By the time I was making my way down the steps to the front entryway, Wilson had answered the door. A dark-skinned woman in her thirties stood at the doorway, wearing a black jacket, a business suit, and short dreadlocks. She took off her sunglasses and nodded to me.
“The sitting room, Wilson,” I said, reaching the landing. He led her to it, and I entered after, waiting for J. C. and Ivy to pass. Tobias already sat inside, reading a history book.
“Lemonade?” Wilson asked.
“No, thank you,” I said, pulling the door closed, Wilson outside.
The woman strolled around the room, looking over the décor. “Fancy place,” she said. “You paid for all of this with money from people who ask you for help?”
“Most of it came from the government,” I said.
“Word on the street says you don’t work for them. ”
“I don’t, but I used to. Anyway, a lot of this came from grant money. Professors who wanted to research me. I started charging enormous sums for the privilege, assuming it would put them off. ”
“And it didn’t. ”
“Nothing does,” I said, grimacing. “Have a seat. ”
“I’ll stand,” she said, inspecting my Van Gogh. “The name is Monica, by the way. ”
“Monica,” I said, taking out the two photographs. “I have to say, it seems remarkable that you’d expect me to believe your ridiculous story. ”
“I haven’t told you a story yet. ”
“You’re going to,” I said, tossing the photographs onto the table. “A story about time travel and, apparently, a photographer who doesn’t know how to use his flash properly. ”
“You’re a genius, Mister Leeds,” she said, not turning. “By some certifications I’ve read, you’re the smartest man on the planet. If there had been an obvious flaw—or even one that wasn’t so obvious—in those photos, you’d have thrown them away. You certainly wouldn’t have called me. ”
“They’re wrong. ”
“They . . . ?”
“The people who call me a genius,” I said, sitting down in the chair next to Tobias’s. “I’m not a genius. I’m really quite average. ”
“I find that hard to believe. ”
“Believe what you will,” I said. “But I’m not a genius. My hallucinations are. ”
“Thanks,” J. C. said.
“Some of my hallucinations are,” I corrected.
