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She had a lot of willpower, then. I didn’t and for a split second, I wished that I had.
“It was a lot of work, but I did it.” She twirled a little and smiled happily. She waited for something, I wasn’t sure what and then it hit me.
She’d shared a secret, now it was my turn.
“I’ve never kissed a guy,” I smiled, knowing that she would figure out that this meant that if I hadn’t kissed one, there was no way that I’d been down and dirty with any of them.
We were talking like a couple of women that’d had a little too much to drink and were in their apartment sharing secrets. Maybe it wasn’t really that odd, I thought. We were freshmen at NYU with not a friend in sight, and maybe that was the reason that we were bonding.
Whatever the reason, I didn’t care. I was enjoying it as we bounced like little kids on her bed and exchanged secrets.
She pointed a knowing look at me. “You know the crazy thing is, I saw this boy that I liked right before I left. Like really liked in high school. He saw me one day after I’d lost the weight, and he asked if I was new in town!”
“Shut up!” I screamed out thinking that the same thing would happen to me if I managed to lose some weight. Any weight. “What did you say?”
She blurted out her reply, pleased with herself. “Yes.”
We both sunk back on the bed laughing at the idea of her claiming to be a new person. Maybe in some ways, she was right. I bet that she was like me before she lost it. Comfort eating and not feeling good about herself.
I swear I could feel the confidence as it radiated out of her now. It felt as if it came out of her like a sunbeam. It was addictive, and I knew I needed to be around that kind of positive energy.
“What’s the first thing that we need to do?” Her question felt like test. I thought that it meant that I needed to unpack and see if I could start work earlier than planned or even better get a second job.
I must have thought about it too long because she laughed and answered for me. “We need to go and register for some clubs to join or something. I mean we came here to make friends and get laid right?”
I nodded thinking that this must be her subtle way of confirming that we’re both virgins. I was kind of flattered that she felt that there was a chance that I could have done it before.
“So, you coming, or what?” She asked as she abruptly got up and stretched her hand.
“Damn right, I’m coming!” I said assertively, my exhaustion
was forgotten because she was right. I could find a job, another job and still have a little bit of social life between studies. This could be my only chance to have fun. I wasn’t going to let the family down, I would never do that, but I knew that this was my one opportunity to have fun and I couldn’t turn it down.
She excitedly clapped her hands together as if I’d just given her a million dollars. I couldn’t help but feel just as excited. She was so happy that I couldn’t help but be happy with her. I’d already learned that Rachel could just draw you in like that, without even trying.
“So, where do we start?” I asked as we started to walk out of our room and down the halls. She had only been here a little while longer than me and already some girls were smiling at her and saying hello. I knew that I was lucky that I had her as a roommate and a friend.
Yep, we were going to be friends, I decided that from the moment she replied to my email to my new roommate. That decision was proven to be right the moment I met her in my room. Being with her just clarified it all.
“So, what’s your talent?” she asked as we got outside, and I started to wonder if this idea wasn’t such a great one. “Do you play an instrument?”
“Nope.”
“Sport?”
Hell no! Was she fucking with me right now? I looked at her, my face clearly gave away my thoughts, because she laughed and nudged me with her shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m fucking with you. I could hear how strained your breathing was when we got down the stairs and we weren’t even running down them,” she said as she smiled at me. I should have been annoyed at her observation but that would be stupid. I knew that she was telling the truth, even though I hated hearing it.
“Okay, Rachel. I don’t play any instruments. No, I’m not into sports and apart from working and getting into college, I have no real interests. Everything I did in high school was to get into NYU and get financial aid. Nothing else.” It took the wind out of me, to make such a confession, but the truth was that I didn’t owe her an explanation. Yet, I was embarrassed about it all and felt like I needed to say something to defend myself.
“Chill. Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” She held out her hand, an apologetic smile in place. “Let’s find something that interests you but something that doesn’t have anything to do with your studies.”
I agreed and decided that I needed to stop being so damn sensitive about every damn thing.
“I like singing in the shower,” I said with a hopeful look.
“That’s my girl. I like singing in the shower too, but I don’t think that anyone wants to hear me when I sing! Far from it!”
We laughed and I took her arm as we started to hit the stalls. I wanted to find something that I could do between studies and work and I figured that one of these stalls might just be the key. Maybe I’d do more than work after all. My friendship with Rachel was taking a step in the right direction after only one day. My dream about going to NYU had happened, maybe being happy and having a fulfilled life might be an option too. Something that I never thought would be possible.
Chapter Five
Celia
“That was fucking nuts!” I cried out as I shuffled through all the information on the stalls and decided that I’d signed up for one too many. The problem was, we got to the stalls and we were so busy signing up to stuff together, that we didn’t notice exactly how much we?
?d signed up for.
Rachel saw some girls that she met when she first arrived on campus and she pointed them out to me. She said that they were going to have a party in their dorm which seemed a little crazy to me, but she said we could go if I wanted to.
I looked at her, a little confused. We’d just got here, and they were already having a party? I wasn’t ready to be that sociable yet. In the space of five hours of being here, I’d already told my roommate may be a little too much and I hadn’t even called Mom yet, let alone Nan, to tell them that I’d arrived safely.
I held my hand up to Rachel as soon as the thought occurred to me and pulled my phone out of my back pocket.
“I have to call my mom,” I said as soon as the phone came on. She left with a wave of her hand and I absently waved too, absorbed in my phone for the moment.
It was the first phone that I’d ever owned, but I’d heard a couple of girls at the stalls complain about the fact that they needed a new phone because they wanted an upgrade. Before I came here, I didn’t own one. If Mom went to the diner, then she’d leave her phone at home and that we way we could communicate. Either I’d call her at the diner or vice-versa. Part of the money that I made during the summer was used to buy the phone I now had in my hand. I was proud of it and being able to call home all the time was the main reason that I bought it. Now, I’d given fifteen different societies my number. One that I’d thought only my mom, or my nan, would ever know.
“Celia, is that you?” Mom cried as soon as she answered, and I felt guilty about taking so long to call and tell her that I’d arrived safe and sound.
“Yeah, Mom, it’s me. Sorry, I took so long to call.”
She laughed, “The important thing is that you called and that you’re safe.”
Beep!
I had a message coming through, I assumed that it was one of the societies that I joined but thought that it would be crazy for them to send me messages so soon. Must be from the clubs I signed up with.
