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“She did, I know that. You’re a brave girl, Nicolette, and I can’t enough how proud I am of you.” She smiled softly, the wrinkles around her mouth deep from all those years of grief. She was a slim woman, one of those that stayed slim no matter how much she ate, and she looked fragile, but I suspected she’d been the strongest one in her marriage.
She lit a cigarette and blew it away from me. I didn’t complain, she was old enough to know better, but it was her choice. “Life is shit sometimes. We had it all and thought we’d retire with more grandchildren to love. Then it all fell apart in an instant. Your mother needed us, though, and you too. We should have… I don’t know, but we should have.”
“Grams, stop beating yourself up. It’s alright. I promise.” It might have been nice to have them to turn to when I felt alone in the world, but I’d got through it. I wouldn’t tell her that, though.
“I hope so, Nicolette,” she smiled and took another drag on the long cigarette. I kind of liked the smell, even though most people hated it. I wasn’t about to light one up, but it wasn’t that bad.
“It is, Grams. Now, are we going to that art thing later or have you changed your mind?” I wanted to Skype with the guys before they went to bed and would do it before we went if she wanted to go.
“Of course, I want to go. No need to stay around here moping about my sins. In fact, I’ll go start to get ready.” She got up with her glass in hand and went into the house.
I smiled as she walked away. She was trying but still grieving. It would never leave her, I suspected, but she’d learned to cope in her own ways. I went into the house and found my bedroom so I could call the guys.
Michael answered on the first ring. “Hi, sweetheart!”
“Hi, honey!” I replied with my phone on my nightstand. “How are you all?”
“We’re fine, though Tristan is dying to come home. We all are, but I think he’s really lovesick. I thought that was some bullshit romantic thing somebody made up long ago, but he’s actually pining for you or something.”
“You aren’t?” I teased but eased it with a smile.
“Of course, I am, but not as badly as he is. I can’t wait to get back to you, you know that.”
“I can’t wait for you to get home. Not long now,” I answered him. Daniel came on then and then the rest of the brothers. They were sitting outside on a patio tiled in red terracotta tiles with a dozen white lights strung on a line behind them.
“Not long at all, then we’ll be back between those amazing thighs,” Adam answered for them all, and I laughed.
“You always have sex on the brain.”
“I do, but that’s because it’s you. I don’t think about it with anyone else, Nic, only you.” Now that was an admission coming from him. Maybe he had a little bit of a romantic side to him too. Or maybe he just really missed me. Either way, I’d take this romantic side at any time.
“I miss you too, Adam. I can’t stop dreaming about all of you, do you know that? I want to sleep all the time because I’m with you in my dreams every night.” I felt silly saying it over the phone, but there was no other way to tell them.
“It won’t be long now. And, as you said, we’re doing good work here.” Daniel broke in this time. And we got a text from a lady that I think is your grandmother. She wants to give us $25,000 for the orphanage?”
“Yeah, that’s probably her. Damn, she works fast!” I said, surprised. She meant it then.
“Yes, she does. Not that I’m complaining. It will be a great help here. These kids have so little, it would be nice to give them more before we go.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t forget then.” I sat on the edge of the bed, awkward. There were people all over the house, housekeepers, a cook, my grandfather’s nurse, my grandparents, and it was the middle of the day. At night, when I was alone, I felt more at ease, so I kept my conversation a bit stilted. They knew that, but I noticed that Tristan was staring at the phone and knew what he was thinking. I could see it in his eyes.
“Tristan, stop that!” I said with a giggle.
“I can’t help it, Nic! You really don’t know how beautiful you are. Even over this shitty line.” He leaned in closer and smiled. I loved his smile. Okay, all of their smiles, but his was the one I was looking at for the moment.
