AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The door opened and a group of people came in, but none of them were Kenny. The group was happy and joined a couple that had quietly been playing pool in another corner of the bar. I looked down at my drink, all but melted ice now, and sighed heavily.
I think I’ve been stood up.
I waited another half hour and when Kenny didn’t show up or contact me, I decided to leave. I didn’t think I’d been stood up now, I knew it. I don’t know what happened, but I suspected I knew who did.
I don’t know how she’d have found out, but I had a feeling Amanda was behind this. It might be stupid of me, but I couldn’t help but come straight to that conclusion. Somehow, Amanda had found out about my date and ruined it.
With as much dignity as I could muster, I got up from the booth, gathered my bag, and went out to my car. By that point, I was too angry to cry. Kenny had bailed on me without an explanation. I glanced at my black bag in the passenger seat and wondered if I should bother to text him. Maybe he was in the hospital, or sick in bed?
I screwed my face up and tried to decide and finally reached for my phone. I typed quickly and put the phone down on my lap. I’d wait, just in case he said he was on his way, but after five minutes, there’d been no response. I nodded to myself, started the car, and drove away.
The night was ruined. I could have hung around the bar, waited for a guy to come up to me, and maybe saved the night, but I wasn’t that brave. Or stupid, it depended on how you looked at it. It all boiled down to me not being desperate enough to put myself out there like that.
I parked back at the dorms and got out of the car. I could see from the car that our dorm room was dark. Our room faced out onto the parking area at the front of the building and I could see that Brooklyn wasn’t in.
I’d have to talk to her at some point, tell her that I’d been stood up, but shame crashed over me the moment I parked the car. It wasn’t even worth a phone call to break the date. I’d wanted nothing more than to lose my virginity, but I couldn’t do that because it would seem I’m completely un-fuckable.
I got out of the car, my shoulders slumped and headed back to the room I shared with my BFF. I didn’t want to admit it, but this really hurt. It shouldn’t, but it did. I glared at the doors to the building before I turned around and headed down to a little shop at the corner of the dorm building. I bought a pint of chocolate brownie ice cream, a pack of microwave popcorn, and a big bag of nachos.
Indulging in junk food wasn’t something I normally did, but I wanted to drown my sorrows in bad food and a movie that would distract me so that I wouldn’t cry like a baby. I let myself into the dorm room, dropped my purse by my twin bed, and flopped down on the mattress covered with blue and green sheets and a comforter that matched. I’d bought them because they looked cheerful and happy, something I thought I’d need while I studied for my last year of school.
They didn’t work to cheer me up now, but I hoped the junk food and a movie would. I opened the movie app I used on my laptop and scrolled through to find a comedy movie. I pressed play, changed into my pajamas, wiped my face clean with a face wipe, and put my laptop on the bedside table that spanned between our two beds.
I knew that I was trying to ignore the humiliation I felt, and tomorrow, I’d talk to Brooklyn, but right now, I just needed to let myself not think. She would comfort me, I knew that, but I also knew her comfort would break the dam I’d built around my emotions. I’d learned to bottle up my emotions, to hide behind a façade, over the years of Amanda’s bullying campaign.
I knew I shouldn’t do things like that, but I couldn’t help it. It was either that, or I’d spend every single day in tears, and that’s not what I was about at all. I pushed my thoughts aside, put my headphones on, and let an old comedy take me into a completely different world. I fell asleep with an empty tub of ice cream and an empty bag of chips on the table beside me. I didn’t care, sleep brought me the peace I needed, tomorrow I’d throw the bag away. And deal with whatever this whole fucked up night was about.
