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I lifted her up and smiled, she was quiet as she looked in my eyes, then attempted to pull my chain. That seemed to be her favorite pastime whenever I held her in my arms.
No wet diaper.
Not feeding time.
There was no reason for me not to leave home immediately, apart from changing again. I had a feeling that we weren’t just going to the park and if I was a lucky girl, I could get more than a swing at the park. I could possibly get a kiss, too.
The were two playgrounds and even a splash pad. I knew that the kids were too young to enjoy that, but Hazel was old enough to enjoy the sand pit. She could sit up, which was more than Joshua could do. Maybe Chad could hold him and let him get a bit of a feel of the sand.
I shook my head as I was thinking of us as a couple and we’d only just met. This wasn’t a good idea, but Hazel started to clap her hands on my shoulders.
Maybe she could feel that her Mommy was a bit too excited about our trip to the park. I had exactly fifteen minutes to calm down and just hope that I did by the time we got there, but I had a feeling that I would be even worse. There was something about Chad that was making my body’s temperature go beyond 37.5 degrees and it wasn’t good. But I liked it.
Chapter Five
Chad
I felt as if I was in a maze. I was just walking around not having a clue what end of the park I should wait at. Olivia wasn’t happy about me going to the park, but when I told her that I would only be an hour and that would give her some chill time, she didn’t hesitate in saying bye to us. I wondered what was up with her.
My baby sister used to be fun, and then after being dumped by Brent the moment she told him that she was pregnant, she was hurt. So deeply hurt that I thought that the minute Joshua came out and was in her life, that hurt would go away. I could see by the way that she was behaving that it wasn’t that simple.
Fucking bastard!
Shit, I wasn’t a fucking angel when it came to women. But I was clear about my intentions. One night. And that was all I could give them. I knew that some of them agreed, hoping that they could change my mind. They never did, but now I knew I was crossing a line. One that I didn’t know if it was a good idea.
I wasn’t honest with Ivy. Shit, I was lying about being a dad and thinking about getting Joshua into a good preschool as justification for doing it. I took a deep breath as I saw her standing by the jungle gym. When I read it, I thought that it was another park. I didn’t realize that it was part of this park. I needed to learn a lot about parks, babies and all the other shit that came with it. I thought that I’d work on the stroller one day and for today it was all about the baby carrier.
I had to tell Ivy the truth. Fuck, I was breaking my golden rule of being straight with women. She had changed, she wasn’t in the hot green dress that she wore to the preschool. She was in some skimpy halter top and jeans. So fucking tight that all I wanted to do was squeeze her butt cheeks. Judging by some of the dads in the park, I could tell that I wasn’t the only one that was thinking about doing this, she was attracting attention.
I walked up to her quickly, Joshua was asleep as usual. Good thing he wasn’t Kylie and Noah’s kid. Otherwise, they would have him at the clinic at least three times a day.
I felt flustered as I approached her, at first I thought that it was the brisk walk that I took to come by her side before one of the pervert dad’s tried to hit on her. But then as I drew closer and smelled her floral fragrance, I realized that it was her that had made me feel this way. She was hot. Smoking hot and she was so damn sexy that I found myself saying exactly what was on my mind.
“How come you’re single?”
She laughed while flicking her hair, a motion that I assumed she did when she was nervous. She did it when I asked for her number and again just now when I was very direct.
“Do you always say exactly what you think?”
I nodded, thinking that she was avoiding the question. She was nervous about answering.
“I thought that maybe the kids could play in the sand pit. Hazel’s nearly stretching from the stroller to get in there.”
“Sure, but only if you answer my question.”
I drew closer towards her, the only thing in my way was Joshua in his carrier. Next time, I’ll bring a stroller. Now, I feel trapped, which is why I always think of them as being straight jackets.
“Well, Hazel’s dad didn’t want to know.”
I sighed, “Sounds like Olivia.”
“Who?”
I nodded, “My sister. As soon as she found out that she was pregnant, then her boyfriend of five years dropped her like a bad smell. The bastard was okay with living with her and fucking her. But when it came to the responsibility of bringing up their child, it was too much for him.”
“So, Joshua has a little cousin?”
Shit, I said too much. And on cue, Joshua started to whimper and I had an excuse to change the subject. Why the fuck didn’t I think before I even started speaking? Sometimes I was a prick. I would have to tell her, especially if we were going to look at preschools. This thing could get out of hand. Olivia was right. I hated when my little sister was right about something and I was so fucking wrong about playing out this whole fake daddy shit. It sounded right in my head, but right now it felt completely wrong.
Joshua’s whimpers turned into screams as I tried to calm him down. I was patting him on his back, which just seemed to upset him even more. I spun him around which he liked every time we were at home and I did it. He giggles or attempts to laugh. Now, nothing but tears and screams. Even Ivy tried to get him to settle down by gently rocking him and singing to him.
“I think that the day’s been too much for him. I’ll call you. We can do it another day.”
I didn’t wait for her to reply as I walked away. I felt like a chump telling her about being a dad in the first place. I hurried up to the car, panicking about what could have upset Joshua too much. Call me fucking paranoid, but the moment I opened the jeep and strapped him in his seat, he stopped. I picked him up thinking that maybe we could go back to the park and I could give Ivy some bullshit story about what I’d said earlier. It was too late, Joshua started to cry again. I wondered if he knew that his uncle was full of crap before he was even old enough to start walking. I knew one thing for sure, I had to take him home and when I arranged our next play date, I’d make sure that I told Ivy the truth.
***
