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“This…is going to be the complicated part,” I said hesitantly. She arched her eyebrows at me, expectant. “Rachel, she told me she’s pregnant, and the toddler is probably mine.”
She blinked, then took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Oh.”
My eyebrows shot up, and I squeezed her arms a little. “Just oh? Nothing else to say?”
She shrugged. “You can’t exactly help what happened, can you? And…technically, we weren’t together when you were with her, so…”
I frowned. “Why do you still look worried, though?”
Rachel gave me a shaky smile. “I just really want to know…Jason. What exactly do you want?”
I had a feeling she was asking me who I wanted, and she should have known already that it was never in question.
“I want you,” I told her honestly. “I don’t love her, I never have. She was just a booty call; I had no idea she would even come all the way out here. I’ll talk to her so she and I can settle things out, but you and me? That’s what I’ve always wanted, even when I lied to myself thinking I could forget you.”
I watched Rachel beam at my admission and felt something I hadn’t felt tightening go warm and lose in my chest as she pulled me into her home.
Chapter Seventeen
Rachel
I pulled Jason with me inside and closed the door.
“Where’s Jack?” he asked, looking around.
I felt a warmth in my chest when Jason asked about him. If there had been one thing I was anxious about Jason and I being together, it was how he would take to being with Jack. He hadn’t spent much time around Jack the times I’d taken him to the ranch. I’d caught him looking a few times, before rushing away like hungry wolves were at his heels, and I hadn’t been sure how to take that reaction.
But he looked all concerned now as he looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of my son, that I couldn’t help but be happy.
“He’s sleeping in the bedroom,” I told him, pulling him over to the couch and coaxing him to sit down. “I have the baby monitor here so I can hear when he wakes up. Though, this place is small enough that if he cried in the room, I could hear him.”
Jason looked around the room, and I fidgeted beside him, my fingers playing with the hem of my top as I wondered exactly what he wanted to see. I took a look myself and winced. My place was nothing like the ranch. In my little living room, there was only the old couch and a small, wooden coffee table with a few stools scattered around the room for the rare occasion I received more than a couple of guests.
My kitchen was separated from the living area with an island that doubled as my breakfast counter, where I took most of my meals if I didn’t just eat on the couch. The kitchen area itself was small, with a small fridge and a cooker, and some cupboards to store food in. There wasn’t a lot of food around, though, since I hadn’t been spending a lot of time at home, and even then, carrying food over from the ranch. Or just eating dinner there before going home.
I knew how bare the room was. My bedroom would be even worse, and the toddler’s crib squeezed into the spare room with a bed in it that had been my roommate’s before she moved out, ages ago. If I hadn’t had Nathan’s help keeping up the rent, I would have had trouble keeping the place on my own and not working anywhere for a while.
There was no way I was letting Jason see any of that.
“I know it’s lacking,” I muttered, looking down.
Jason took one of my hands in his and squeezed it.
“No, that’s not it. I just…can’t help thinking how you’d spent all this time on your own, through your pregnancy, and the first months of your toddler’s life.” His lips flattened as he looked around again. “The father should have been there.”
Perfect opportunity, Rachel.
If ever there was a time to come clean to Jason about Jack being his son, he’d just given me another perfect chance. I knew I would be an idiot to miss it the third time. I pulled my hand away from his and instead held both his hands between my small ones. I looked up to meet his eyes, to find him already looking at me.
“There’s…something I want to tell you.” My voice trembled as I spoke, and by the time I’d finished, it had grown so quiet, it was a wonder Jason even heard.
He nodded, his expression expectant as he waited for me to say it.
“It’s…” I started, only for my voice to fail. My stomach fluttered uncomfortably, my heart beating too fast in my chest. But, I was determined to let this out tonight. Before he had to go back to the ranch, back to that woman. “It’s about Jack,” I finally admitted.
“What about him?” he asked. Then his eyes widened in alarm, his back going ramrod straight. “Is there something wrong with—?”
“Absolutely nothing,” I said, cutting him off. “There’s nothing wrong with him. As I said, he’s just sleeping.”
“Oh,” he muttered, obviously relieved as he slumped back into the couch. His brow furrowed in confusion. “But what is it you wanted to tell me? Rachel, you can tell me anything. I swear I won’t mind.”
I hope you remember that in a minute, Jason.
I took a deep breath, then squeezed my hands around his.
“Jack…is your son,” I said slowly, watching him intently.
Jason just blinked, then smiled at me. “Oh,” he said, sounding happier.
I frowned. “Did you hear what I just said, Jason?”
He nodded, grinning at me. “Jack is my son, right?”
“Why aren’t you mad about this?”
He chuckled, pulling his hands out from between mine. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and slowly tugged me into his chest. I allowed myself to be snuggled, feeling incredibly confused. But being in his arms felt too good to resist, anyway.
“I already know,” he admitted.
I gasped and tried to pull away so that I could see his face. Jason kept his hold on me tight, though. He buried his face in my hair, and after a minute of squirming and him not letting go, I let my body calm down cautiously.
Jason sighed, and the breath washed through my hair and down the nape of my neck, making me shiver. I refused to be sidetracked, though.
“What do you mean, you know?” I asked, just a tad accusing. “That day when you came here, you were such a jerk to me about it! I didn’t even think about why you changed your mind so quickly…”
“It wasn’t quick, though,” he said sadly. “It took a few days, remember? And I found out exactly that day. There’s this ranch hand that kinda made me see reason. I mean, it was totally stupid, but…the first thing I thought was that you’d cheated on me. I didn’t even imagine he could be mine at first.”
I gasped again and tried to pull away. This time, he let me.
“How could you think I ever cheated on you?”
He shrugged helplessly. “I guess…it made more sense to me than you being pregnant and having my child without even once thinking of letting me know. But I didn’t exactly try to reach out to you either…and I know Nathan helped you, right?”
I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip. “You could have told me, you know.”
He scoffed. “You could have told me the truth.”
I had nothing to counter that. When he pulled me into his arms again, I let him sighing as I melted into him.
“I want to be with you, Rachel,” he admitted. “And be a part of Jack’s life. I don’t…want us to be anything like our parents to our son.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around him, feeling my eyes sting with tears. I’d hoped to hear him say that, but never thought it would come true.
A knock on the door interrupted us.
