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There was a time when I’d had a try at it, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know. But, for several months, I’d changed that knowledge into what I could do for my business, not how to take care of a ranch. In a lot of ways, my business in the city had been easy, especially since I’d had some partners that helped with the bulk of the work.
I had the ranch foreman to help out, but he was just another part-timer that had come in after I’d been gone, so most of the work still fell on me. I was starting to regret selling everything and coming down here so impulsively.
Then, Rachel walked into the office one morning, hands fisted on her hips with a fierce, determined look on her face.
“I’m going to help you, Jason, and you’re going to let me do it,” she declared, voice firm.
It surprised me. Ever since our first meeting, I hadn’t thought she’d even want to see me again. She shouldn’t have been at the ranch that day at all, certainly not to meet me. And yet, here she still was. She’d looked after my grandpa while I wasn’t around, she’d been there for him when he collapsed, and I heard she was the one to take him to the hospital as well.
There was so much I had to be thankful to her for. This was just one more thing on the long list.
“I would love that, Rachel,” I said honestly, my shoulders slumped in my relief. “Thank you. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing right now.”
It wasn’t something easy for me to admit, and she realized it. Her stance changed, becoming softer. Hesitantly, she walked over to the desk where I sat. She leaned across it, and I quirked a small smile when she patted my shoulder, probably trying to be comforting.
“Things are different here from the city?” she guessed.
I snorted. “That is such a fucking understatement, Rachel, you have no idea. I guess I went out there and forgot it all, right? I decided, so I want to be useful, but I can’t even do that…”
I pursed my lips. I thought back, thinking of all the what-ifs. If I’d just waited and talked to my grandpa, or clued in when he got insistent on me coming to visit. Just maybe, things could have gone differently. He might not have had a heart attack that day if I hadn’t riled him up.
There was no room for doubts and regrets, though. Not enough time with everything I had to do when I didn’t even remember most of it.
“I can start on the paperwork,” Rachel said. “You can just go and take a rest.”
I frowned. “I’m not going to just leave everything to you, Rachel,” I complained. “It’s my responsibility, I just…need a little help.”
She didn’t outright laugh at me when I said that, and I wondered how she was holding it all in. She had been there through my short discussion with Grandpa. There was no way she wouldn’t have heard everything we talked about that day, but after I’d told her not to tell Noah, she hadn’t brought it back up again. Noah, the bastard, hadn’t even shown up at the ranch once since the funeral.
“Fine, then,” Rachel said, rolling her eyes at me. “If you want to do something, then get out and do rounds through the ranch. How long has it been since you even walked around here? You left this ranch long before you left me, after all.”
I grimaced at the reminder, even though I hadn’t needed it. It was difficult to forget what I’d done, after all. Especially in light of recent events.
She was shooing me away, so I got up and moved away from the desk, and she replaced me. Instead of going ahead and taking her advice just yet, though, I stood there watching her.
Rachel had changed. It was expected, of course. I’d left her behind. I’d felt remorse over it, but not enough to stay or try to keep in touch. I’d been doing my best to forget her, in fact, since I’d thought it was the best for the both of us.
But now… I was wondering why. Why the fuck did I ever let her go? She’d been there for me ever since we got the news. She stayed out of my way as if trying not to make a nuisance of herself. She made food for me and made sure it was available, without pushing me to eat. This was the first time she’d spoken to me so firmly, and I couldn’t help but obey when I’d refused to take orders from anyone. I wanted to.
“Will you stay?” The words came out of my mouth unbidden, but I didn’t call them back. I’d thought of asking her already. I hadn’t been sure it was the best idea before, but now, I couldn’t think of anything better. Rachel had always been of great help to me, and now even more so. I would be lucky if she could stay.
She looked up at me, blinking like she hadn’t heard what I said. “I’m sorry, what?”
My lips twisted up into a smile. “I was just wondering if you could stay. You know, here on the ranch? Permanently.”
She just stared at me a moment, then opened her mouth. Instead of speaking, though, she just continued to stare, with the occasional blink. I didn’t blame her. The offer was coming out of nowhere, after all.
“Rachel?” I called softly after a minute of no movement.
She blinked her eyes rapidly as she looked down. Then, she gave a slight shake of her head, eyes rising to meet mine.
“I’m afraid I can’t, not permanently, anyway. I have a home to go to, Jason.”
I pursed my lips. I’d known it, but I didn’t like hearing it. I should have expected her to answer anyway. Why would she want to live with me?
“You can just pack a few things and come here,” I said, insisting. “There’s plenty of room in here for you, and I promise not to kick you out.”
She shook her head again, slower. “If you need help, I can give it to you,” she explained. “But, I do have things I need to do at home. That day I stayed over because Nathan insisted, but it can’t happen again. I’m sorry, Jason.”
I waved away her excuse, even though I could see through the lie. Maybe it wasn’t entirely wrong, but she wasn’t telling me the real reason she had to go back home.
“It’s fine, Rachel,” I said, backing out of the office. “Just work for as long as you’re able. And thank you so much for offering to do this at all.”
I left her alone to get through the paperwork, frowning as I did what she’d said, taking a walk around the ranch. Thinking back on it, she’d done it since the first day, hadn’t she? She was there during the day when I looked up and noticed she was around. But, she’d been leaving at around five in early evening every day. And it was something she had to rush off to, every day.
It was strange, and I couldn’t help the clench in my chest that told me I probably wouldn’t like the real reason.
Chapter Eight
Rachel
A few days passed. Jason and I were working well together, and he was starting to remember how things were done. Not that long had passed, and already he was less than a mess.
But, that had always been Jason. If he put his mind to something, it would only be a matter of time before he fully grasped it. He hadn’t let that many people see that side of him, though, even his family.
The ranch was slowly moving back to its normal operations. It was pretty sizeable land that took a lot of work, even when all you were doing was paperwork. I also noticed that a lot of the paperwork was stuff Nathan had left alone. I could feel a pang in my chest as I thought of him being too unwell to even do his work right. The ranch had meant a lot to him, and I knew he wouldn’t have neglected it otherwise.
Everything was going fine, until I received a call, just when I’d finished getting dressed so I could go over to the farm.
“Hey, Mary?” I said slowly. “What is it?”
My babysitter sighed on the other end of the call. “I am so sorry about this, Rachel,” she said, sounding guilty. “I wish I wasn’t making this call to you right now, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it today.”
I sighed back. I’d guessed already because there was no other reason why she would be calling, when she was supposed to see me i
n a few minutes. How was I supposed to handle this, exactly?
“I guess it’s something really important. You don’t usually cancel at the last minute.”
“It’s an emergency, something really important. I am so sorry.”
“Can you at least recommend someone for me?” I asked hopefully.
“I’m afraid not…”
There was no more to say. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I knew it would be impossible to find someone to help me out this late, and it wasn’t like I could leave the job to just anyone. Knowing it this late…
“I won’t be able to go in,” I muttered to myself.
Jason deserved to know. So, before I put my phone away, I dialed his number. He picked up on the third ring.
“Jason? It’s Rachel.”
“I know,” he said. “You haven’t changed your number.”
He hadn’t changed his either, but it was still a surprise to hear he’d kept my number saved. I’d tried plenty of times to erase his from my phone, so I didn’t understand why he still had mine. Still, there was no denying the spark of happiness in my chest when he said it.
Don’t think too much about it, I chided myself. He could have just been too lazy to delete it, or something.
I put my thoughts aside.
“Did you need something?” he asked.
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me at that moment. “No, everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming in today. Something urgent came up, and I have to take care of it. Sorry.”
There was a short silence over the line, then; “Can you tell me what it is?”
No.
There was absolutely no way I could tell him about this, not this late. He would have some choice words to say, words I didn’t want or need to hear from Jason of all people.”
“It’s nothing too big,” I said hurriedly. “Just know it’s something I can handle, and you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll be back to the ranch tomorrow, hopefully.” I’d just need to find a backup babysitter in case Mary’s emergency lasts longer than expected.
