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In my mind’s eye, Stephen’s head was bent over me while he sucked each nipple in turn until they stood up tall and hard in his mouth. I imagined looking down, I could envision the soft waves of dusty-blonde hair as his thick lashes lay against his cheek with his eyes closed blissfully while those firm lips moved against my breasts and his strong, muscled arms held me firmly in place so I couldn’t squirm…
Holy shit! What the fuck was wrong with me?!
My eyes flew open, breaking the imaginary moment as my heart about beat out of my chest. Stephen does not have strong, muscular arms and his hair is dark brown.
Damn it. It’s one thing to have a sex dream about my stepbrother. You can’t help what you dream about, right? But to think about Austin while I was wide awake? Thinking naughty thoughts about him. While I was touching myself. That was unacceptable. I’m sure psychologists have a word for that. Pervert.
Still. I couldn’t help but think about it. What would it be like to have Austin touching me? What would it feel like to have him pin me down against the bed with those strong arms while he ravaged my body with that hot mouth of his?
It’s just a little fantasy, right? Fantasies are OK. It’s not like I’d ever actually do anything with Austin. And besides, it’s not like he’s my real brother.
I had my eyes closed again and my hands were wandering across my body again. Only this time I nervously pictured Austin’s mouth, Austin’s hands; pinching, touching, licking, caressing. Spreading my thighs and rubbing my clit, dipping one of those long fingers inside me, spreading my juices around until I was slick and ready and then plunging his thick cock deep inside me.
I bucked against my own hand as I imagined what it would feel like to have him filling me up inside with that rock-hard chest against my soft breasts while he bit my earlobe and whispered dirty things hoarsely against my cheek.
I came hard, arching my back up off the bed and twisting in the air against the heel of my hand as it clamped down against my button while two of my fingers dug as far as I could them inside me. Definitely one of the most intense orgasms I’d ever had. I lie on the bed, spent and relaxed, wondering if it was the forbidden aspect of the fantasy and wondering what it would really be like to feel Austin inside me like that.
Probably not good. I sighed in defeat as I headed for the shower. Everyone says your first time isn’t good anyway and Austin is probably a lousy lover. Everything’s all about him all the time. Besides, it’s not like I’ll ever find out. Not only is he totally off limits, but he barely even knows I exist.
The banquet was a formal thing. Formal formal. Dad was in a tux and Mom looked like she was going to the Oscars. Mandy had helped me pick out a dress before we left home and I was working hard not to pull at it constantly.
I curled my hair and pinned it up and put on makeup and jewelry. My dress was a deep red with thousands of tiny beads on it. It weighed a ton. It had skinny little spaghetti straps and a sweetheart style neckline— if you could call it a “neckline.” It was nowhere near my neck! In fact, the heart-shaped bodice sat decadently low on my cleavage and from my point of view, it looked like my boobs were going to pop out any minute.
The fabric was stretchy and it hugged the curves of my bosom perfectly and followed my rib cage down to my waist before flaring out over my hips.
I looked in the mirror to inspect the results. Not bad. I looked a little like Jessica Rabbit. The dress looked like Jessica Rabbit’s anyway. I was still short, even with the 4 inch hooker heels on and my hair is dark brunette but all in all I was pretty impressed by the girl looking back at me.
At least I can walk in heels. Kinda. I don’t dress up often, but when I was younger I went through this thing where I thought it was really important for every woman to be able to walk in heels. I didn’t really out grow that till my sophomore year.
We were meeting Austin at the banquet hall. We had the rental car valet parked so we didn’t have to walk too far to the dining room. I felt so self conscious as we walked across the big open space to the doors. A lot of people were staring at me. If it had been just the guys, maybe I would have thought it was because I looked good, but it was the women too. I tried to pull my shoulders back and hold my head up, but I was so worried that everyone could tell I don’t dress up often.
What if I was stepping on the hem of the dress when I walked? The dress really did show a lot of cleavage— could people see my nipples? I reminded myself not to pull or tug. They were probably thinking I was too fat to be wearing something so revealing.
I wished I had a shawl or some sort of jacket to cover my shoulders. I tried to suck in my stomach so it would look flat but the fabric of the dress was just too clingy. It hugged all my curves, the good and the bad and while I wasn’t exactly fat— I was by no means petite.
Mandy was always telling me I was beautiful. She called me “voluptuous,” but let’s face it— guys like skinny girls.
I caught myself pulling up the top of the dress. I shouldn’t have let her talk me into such a slinky red number. At the time I was thinking how fun it would be to dress like a movie star. How I would be so far from home, who cared what other people thought. Now that I was here and everyone was staring, I wasn’t feeling quite as confident as I was trying to look.
We presented our invitation to the doorman and were shown to our table where Austin was already waiting.
Austin. In a tuxedo. I blushed as I remembered my naughty thoughts from this afternoon, but if I thought my stepbrother looked good last night, I caught my breath looking at him now. In a simple black on white classic tuxedo that looked like it had been tailored specifically to him. Clean shaven with his hair combed perfectly to the side.
He stood to greet us when he saw us approaching. His face breaking into a wide grin at the sight of our parents all dressed up like it was prom night. Then he looked at me.
Right at me.
For the first time that I could ever think of, Austin was looking at me. The grin slipped off his face like he was in awe. I shivered uncontrollably as I watched his eyes travel over my body. Then his eyes moved back up and met mine.
The rest of the room faded away. I didn’t hear the conversation or the clinking of the china or the music in the background any more. I could only stand there and look my stepbrother in the eye as he seemed to finally see me for the first time in our lives.
It only lasted a moment, but it felt like forever. Soon I was continuing my path to our table where Austin pulled the chair next to him out from the table and held it for me to sit in while Dad did the same for Mom.
As Austin slid the chair forward for me again, he leaned down close to my ear and whispered, “You clean up very well, Sis.” It didn’t sound sarcastic, it didn’t sound brotherly, and the secretive tone of his rich voice sent a shiver down my spine.
Austin accepted his award for his achievements during his time at the school with a gracious speech and we all enjoyed the lavish dinner.
This was the first time I felt like I was included in the conversation. Austin spent the entire evening with his chair turned toward mine, asking me about my plans for the future, wanting to know what I was going to do with my summer, if I had a boyfriend, catching up with me as though he’d just found his way back home after being stranded on an island for the last six years.
At first I thought it was because my stepbrother had finally realized I was all grown up. That maybe he suddenly saw me as a woman the same way I’d suddenly seen him as a man. That maybe my nasty little thoughts about him weren’t hopeless after all. But sure enough, as our meal progressed, Mom and Dad sprung it on me: they were leaving me here.
“What?!” I practically screamed, dropping my silverware with a loud crash against the nice china.
“Honey,” Dad started, “it’s just that we think spending some time here with Austin would be good for you.”
Funny how a few minutes ago I’d have thought so too, but now the context had changed. I wouldn’t be spending
time with Austin, I was being sold into slavery to Austin so he could brain wash me into going to college and getting a respectable career.
“We just thought that maybe if you spent some time with your brother, you might find out you like working with him,” Dad’s voice was so logical.
“Programming can be very lucrative, dear,” Mom was adding, “look at the offers your brother already has. And that’s just for some silly video games, imagine what he’ll be able to accomplish when he starts taking it seriously.”
I saw a shadow flit across Austin’s face. So fast it almost didn’t happen. But I saw it.
“Nina.” Austin said my name simply, as though he was starting to say something and then decided to go in another direction, “It’s not forever. Just hang out with me for the summer. OK? I have a lot of stuff you can help with. I pay well.” He gave me a small smile that looked a little sympathetic, like he understood that this wasn’t what I wanted. Like this wasn’t what he wanted. But it was what was going to happen so we might as well make the best of it.
I set my teeth together and felt my lower lip begin to pout. I tried not to let the tears well in my eyes. My parents’ betrayal was a cold knife twisting in my gut. All I could do was nod my surrender.
***
“So when did you agree to kidnap me?” I asked sullenly as I stared out the window of the sedan as Austin drove us through the countryside.
