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I look for some kind of hint he knows my filthy x-rated side, but I don’t see it.
“Fantasy stuff mostly, some comic strip stuff, superheroes. I’ve got a bit of a wild imagination.”
“Just like Jack then. That’s definitely one place we differ vastly. I find real things no-one can believe exist and he makes stuff up and pretends it’s true. That treasure map pick up line is about as creative as I get.”
I blush a little. “It was the most original thing anyone has ever said to me”, I say.
Jack leans in conspiratorially. “You know I taught him that one?”
Logan laughs. “What he wants to say is that he wishes he thought of it first.”
“Not only does he steal things from people graves, he steals ideas from his own brother”, Jack says.
“I have a certificate that allows me to do that”, Logan says. “And it’s not grave robbing, its archaeology.”
“A modern day Indiana Jones”, Alice says.
“Exactly”, Logan nods proudly. “Thank you, Alice. After all, if it belongs in a museum.”
“Then so do you”, I say without thinking, quoting Indiana Jones. Alice is lost, but the way the twins crease up with laughter tells me that they get it.
“You know that was our favorite film growing up”, Jack says. “It was because of The Last Crusade that I realized that I could turn my imagination into something special.”
“And I realized there was a real job in the world for someone who wanted to find buried treasure”, Logan adds. “If it wasn’t for Indy, I wouldn’t have become an archaeologist.”
“And have you found the ark of the covenant yet?” I ask suggestively.
“Nah, not yet”, Logan says, his eyes all over me, “but I feel like I’m getting close. The more I search, the more I realize the greatest treasures are usually right here under our noses.”
Jack leans in. “He got that from another film.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You guys are so competitive.”
Logan shrugs his shoulders. “It’s the only way to learn to stand out as a twin. I have to keep Jack on his toes.”
“Or you could learn to work together”, I suggest.
“I’ve already suggested he makes a film about me”, Logan says, “but he keeps refusing.”
“As much as he thinks he is”, Jack says, “he’s just not as exciting as Indiana Jones.”
“Hey, archaeology is not boring”, Logan cuts in. “At least I’m not stuck in an office all day making things up.”
“No, you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere digging things up”, Jack says. “I know which I’d prefer.”
Logan can’t help but laugh. “I know you’re just jealous, as much as you try and deny it. I guess some of us just aren’t cut out for field work.”
“Professor of archaeology, expert on the occult, and how does one say it, obtainer of rare antiquities”, Jack says with a smile, quoting a different Indiana Jones film this time.
Logan shrugs. “That’s one way of saying it.”
“What’s your most impressive find?” I ask.
“Oh man, don’t encourage him”, Jack complains.
“My most impressive find?” Logan asks, repeating the question back to me, his eyes lighting up with excitement.
“I was on the northern coast of Honduras, searching for the city of the monkey God.”
I look briefly at Jack who’s shaking his head, Alice who seems transfixed by both of these men and then back up to Logan who can’t seem to wait to start.
“I’d travelled for days battling monsoon rain, swarms of mosquitos and cannibalistic tribes”, Logan says.
“We should order some drinks before he begins”, Jack says. “We could be here for hours.”
“This is the story you should be turning into a film”, Logan insists. “It’d be way better than half of that fantasy stuff that you turn out at the moment.”
“What happened?”, I ask.
Logan smiles, and Jack defers to his brother. I put my hand on Jack’s leg, which I realize is probably way too familiar, but feel comfortable enough already between them to feel like it’s okay. “You can go next”, I say.
“This is exactly why archaeology is exciting”, Logan says, “and why real life is way more exciting than anything you can imagine.”
“There is a limit to real life”, Jack argues. “There isn’t a limit to the imagination.”
“No one would have been able to imagine what we experienced on that trip”, Logan says. “Not you, or anyone in your team. Yet what we found that day exists.”
Now I’m really excited to hear what it is.
“Go on”, Alice says, taking the words out of my mouth. “What did you find?”
“You sure you don’t want to get some drinks first?” Jack cuts in. “You might need something to calm your nerves.”
“And he thinks he’s the storyteller”, Logan says.
“Alright”, Alice agrees. “A round of drinks, but I want to hear that story.”
“Me too”, I agree. “And then another one from you, Jack.”
“And afterwards you call both tell us which one you think is real”, Jack says.
Logan laughs. “Says the man who works with fiction all day.”
Alice calls the waiter over to take our drinks and it’s not until he’s asking me what I want do I remember that pretending to be normal has its limits. I have two choices, either I drink nothing at all and look weird, or I order my usual and look weird, but don’t hide who I am.
“Two glasses of red wine please”, I say.
He’s taken all of the other orders and I’m the last to go.
“Two?” the waiter repeats back to me.
I nod sheepishly. “I like things to come in twos”, I say.
“I can see”, the waiter says, nodding at the twins. “There could be a mirror between you.”
Alice has that look in her eye that means she’s a hair trigger away from remonstrating with him. I give her a calming look and she seems to back down.
“You can make mine a double as well”, Jack says before the waiter backs away.
“Mine too”, Logan chimes in.
“Two beers?” the waiter asks, “each?”
“That’s right”, Jack says.
“Me too”, Alice adds. “Two glasses of wine for me too.”
The spontaneous solidarity almost brings a tear to my eye. I thought at best there’d be silence as my weird idiosyncrasy got pushed under the carpet, but no, the complete opposite of that. This has never happened before, and I certainly didn't see it coming tonight.
“Four beers and four glasses of red wine?” the waiter checks.
“And eight glasses of water”, Logan adds, just for good measure.
When the waiter has tutted, shaken his head in disbelief, checked again that we actually want what we’ve ordered and finally disappeared, Logan gets back to his story.
