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“There is no such thing as boredom, only boring people.”
“Thanks, Mom, for that insight, but if there’s nothing to do, there’s nothing to do.”
“There’s plenty to do! You could read, talk to each other, play games. When we were kids, we used to play board games for hours. The trouble with you lot is that you’re too reliant on your cell phones. That and the internet.”
“How else is anyone meant to communicate with each other?”
“The proper way. That’s probably why you two can’t find proper relationships.”
I have to bite my tongue to not mention my Mom’s first marriage, built on a healthy basis of communication.
“You’re probably right, Rachel.”
I give Landon a weird look for that comment, wondering where he’s going to go with it.
“I mean the internet really is just full of pornography and people pretending to be something their not. Isn’t that right, Tilly?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“You wouldn’t know about people pretending to be one way when they’re thinking about exactly the opposite?”
There’s that subtext again, as bright as the sun.
“We never had so much pornography when I was growing up. I mean, we had it obviously, but not like the stuff you get nowadays.”
“Um, how do you know that exactly, Mom?”
“I am aware of what goes on, Tilly. I may be older but I’m not past it just yet.”
Again I have a disconcerting shiver running right down my spine. The last thing I want to think about is my mother searching for big dick pictures on the internet. Maybe that’s what gets her and Marvin off. A cup of coffee, a long walk in a nature reserve and then a four hour session of the finest dick pics the internet can provide.
“Are you alright, Tilly? You’re turning your face up.”
“I’m fine. I’m going to go to bed I think, I’m tired.”
Landon sighs.
“It’s only nine thirty. What is everyone seventy or something?”
“Nine thirty? Well, that’s me then.”
Marvin eases himself out of what might have been a catatonic state, before easing himself out of his chair with just as much aplomb, before, finally, easing his way across the living room floor towards the bedroom. He does not look well at all.
“I guess that’s me too.”
I know Landon’s looking at me even before I turn to him and catch his gaze.
“Well, that’s just me and you then, Sis.”
I point to his door.
“That is you right there, and this is me right here, Bro.”
“I’m not ready to go to bed yet.”
“Tough.”
“Come on, you can get all cozy, I’ll read you a bedtime story.”
“You know how to read?”
“Monopoly?”
“Bed.”
“Poker?”
“Landon!”
“Jeez, alright, I’m going.”
Just four more days to go. Four more days of pretending that I don’t want something and beginning to realize more and more I desperately do.
Landon pisses quietly against the porcelain. He cleans his teeth, washes his face, clicks out the light and disappears into his room.
A paper thin wall separates his bed from mine, and I’ve never felt more strongly that I wished for all the world that it didn’t.
Four.
Tilly
I am asleep for what must be three hours at the very most. When I’m woken, firstly by the noise of Marvin shuffling slowly across the living room floor, and then secondly and unequivocally by the sound of him vomiting fiercely into the toilet bowl, I’m lifted out of a dream about Landon. I’m at one of his games, amongst all of the technical staff at the edge of the field, cheering him on from the sidelines. There is nothing that indicates it, but I know we are married. The whole world knows it too - Landon and I have become a famous couple in the unexplainable confines of dream reality - and not only does the whole world know who we are, they approve of our union. They like us. They know it makes sense that we are together, despite the differences in our personalities and the fact that we are step siblings. We are a power couple.
I try as much as I can to get back to it, not only because I need the sleep anyway, but because I was actually really enjoying myself for once, but when Mom clicks on the light without a second thought, and the real Landon comes out of his bedroom in nothing but his boxer shorts to see what’s going on, I know my chance has passed. It’s not a sexual dream unfortunately, far from it actually, but it’s so vivid, that when I see Landon standing there at the foot of my bed, I can’t help but think for a passing moment that he’s about to get on into it.
It takes me a while to shake the sleep from my body and gather myself to what’s going on. It’s the middle of the night and Marvin’s condition has clearly not improved. If anything, it’s worsened.
I count three fierce bouts of vomiting, each one more violent than the one that precedes it, after which he returns to the living room shuffling in his inimitable way, takes refuge in his favorite arm chair and looks like he’s about to die. I’m not kidding, this is serious, Marvin looks so pale we can almost see all the way through him.
I sit up. I can’t stand up quite yet because I’ve slept in my panties, and I know they are probably wet.
“Mom?”
Mom looks concerned.
“Does anyone else feel sick?”
I shake my head sincerely, while Landon is too busy keeping an eye on his dad to respond. For a guy that smiles more than Cam Newton, it seems weird to see him looking so worried.
“We’ve got to take him to the hospital.”
Is it wrong of me to be looking at Landon’s ass right now? I mean, this is clearly a hugely inappropriate moment to take advantage of a crisis situation, but it is such a fantastic ass I can hardly help myself. The other side is clearly pretty incredible too, but everyone knows how much attention that part of The Donkey gets. So much so, in fact, that people forget about how good the reverse side is too.
Marvin is just about managing to wave his arm in negation to the idea.
“That’s not necessary. I just need-.”
He’s too far gone to be able to finish his sentence. The large breaths he has to take in between his words demonstrate the difficulties he’s having in communicating. Something clearly isn’t right. I’ve not seen him like this before, and if this is food poisoning it’s definitely much more serious than I’ve ever seen. This isn’t just a bit of an upset tummy, this is full on projectile vomiting, clammy skin and losing comprehension. Landon is right. See? This is what being in the middle of nowhere does to your health. This is what happens when you don’t have a cell phone signal. I’m just glad it’s not me, or that infuriatingly sexy stepbrother of mine.
“I think we’ve got to take him to the hospital. Can you drive him, Landon?”
“No, hospital”, Marvin manages to groan out.
