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“Let’s go lie down,” I told him, stroking his back as he secured the towel around his waist.
“The floor?” he croaked.
“Everything’s cleaned up. The floor is fine. No damage.”
He turned his head and peered down at me then, but only briefly. Then his gaze returned to the tile.
I gave him a soft smile even though he couldn’t see it and took hold of his hand, knowing he was probably embarrassed about the cleanup. “It wasn’t a big deal, Sean. Not at all, okay? Come on.”
He let me lead him out of the bathroom.
We kept the overhead light off and turned on the small lamp. Sean pulled a pair of boxers out of his dresser and slipped them on, letting the towel drop to the floor. His movements were stiff.
I scooped up the damp towel, then helped him over to the bed. Once he was lying back, I turned to leave the room.
Sean shot up and caught my arm, halting me. “Stay,” he pleaded.
A piece of my heart broke off. God, he was terrified I was leaving.
“I’m staying,” I told him, smiling. “I just want to put this towel in the bathroom and make sure all the lights are off. I’ll be right back.”
Sean nodded rigidly, then released me and collapsed onto the bed. He was breathing fast through his nose.
I ran through the house. I made sure the door was locked and grabbed my phone off the end table. After shutting off all the lights, I returned to the bedroom.
Sean was on his side facing the wall. His head came up, and he peered back at me when I entered.
“Hey,” I whispered. “I’m just setting my alarm. I have a client coming at eight.”
I kept to myself how I thought the girls waking up to me being here might confuse them, and it was probably best I slip out before they woke, figuring we could save that conversation for another time.
We had enough to talk about.
After setting my phone down on the trunk, I climbed over Sean and sat on the bed, facing him. I touched his face, and his eyes slowly slipped opened.
“Are you okay?” I asked softly.
His breathing had slowed a little. He was no longer panting, but he didn’t look any better. Even in the dim light, I could see his fear. His sadness. His gaze was anxious. It wouldn’t settle on me; it darted from my face to different spots on the bed.
“Sean, what are your nightmares about? What happened to you?”
I wanted so badly to take away his pain, but I couldn’t unless he shared his past with me. I had to know all of it.
He gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t look at me.
“Let me in.” I stroked his cheek and shifted closer. “It’s okay, you can tell me anything. It won’t change us. I won’t leave.”
His gaze shot to mine, and his nostrils flared as he sucked in a breath.
“What did she do to you?”
Sean pinched his eyes shut, then shook his head with a short jerk. He wasn’t going to tell me.
“Baby, please, I want to help you,” I said, bending down and kissing his head. I rubbed his shoulder. “Please, tell me. I won’t leave. I promise, I won’t…”
“Not her,” he mumbled.
I leaned back a little to peer into his face. Not her? “What do you mean? Your nightmare wasn’t about her?” I asked.
I felt something move through his body where I was touching him. A wave of fear. It left his muscles rigid.
“Tell me,” I begged. I was crying now. I couldn’t help it. “Sean, please.”
“I just wanted somethin’ to eat,” he whispered, staring at me with wild panic in his eyes.
I nodded, encouraging him to keep going. Please keep going.
“I was so fuckin’ hungry. They had food and they wouldn’t give me any…I could smell it.”
“Who had food?”
“That fuckin’ cunt and the men she’d bring over. Whoever. It was someone different all the time.”
“Okay.” I brushed his hair back. “Okay, what happened? How old were you?”
“Don’t know…nine, I think. I waited ’til I couldn’t hear them, then I snuck out of my room. If they saw me, I’d get beat. She was passed out on the couch. I thought…I thought he was in the bedroom. I didn’t check. I should’ve checked! I knew better! I knew—”
“Shh,” I soothed and pressed kisses all over his face. God, what happened to him?
Sean began to cry. “I got to the kitchen, and he was at the fridge. I tried sneaking out but he saw me. I was scared. I didn’t want to get hit. My head was still hurtin’ so bad from when I got hit earlier, so when he told me to get over to him, I did. What the fuck you doin’? What the fuck you doin’! he screamed at me. I told him I was hungry. Then I watched him pull this bucket of chicken out of the fridge and set it on the counter. I thought he was gonna give it to me. I smiled. I remember fuckin’ smiling at him. Jesus.” Sean shook his head as his tears wet the pillowcase, then he looked at me. “I hadn’t eaten anything in days. And it smelled so good and I just…fuck, I had to. I had to do it, Shayla. I had to fuckin’ do it!”
