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“Are you leaving?” I asked, getting to my feet as well.
“Yeah.”
“Are you okay to drive? You’re not too tired?”
He smirked, asking, “You Mama-Bearin’ me?”
“I’m looking out for you,” I countered, laughing at him. Mama Bear. That was cute. “I don’t want you wrecking or anything.”
“I’ll be fine,” he said.
“Okay. But, still, can you do me a favor and text me when you get home? Just so I don’t worry…”
Sean stared at me, his brows moving slightly lower, his eyes narrowing the tiniest bit, so faintly, I’d have missed it if I wasn’t already looking directly at them.
Then he did something I will never, ever forget, no matter how many times he did it again, if I was lucky. I’d remember this first time forever. I just knew I would.
Because he had never done anything like it before.
Sean reached out as he stepped closer, getting beside me at the same time as his hand reached around and settled on the side of my neck. Then, as his head dropped beside mine, his hand gave me a squeeze.
It was gentle, barely any pressure, but I felt it.
It was his version of a hug.
Before I could think to do anything in return or say a word, Sean dropped his hand and moved away.
I watched over my shoulder and followed him to the door, the skin on my neck tingling wonderfully.
As Sean went to leave, that gentle look was back in his eyes, and his mouth was lifted ever so slightly in the corner when he jerked his chin in farewell.
“Later,” he called out.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
Friends hug, Shay. You know that. Snap out of it!
“Uh, later,” I returned.
The door shut behind him.
Before I turned in for bed that night, I got my text. One word.
Home.
I stared at it, smiling, until I fell asleep.Chapter TwelveSEANYou will never see them again, Sean! You hear me? NEVER! Look what you did to them. Just look! Go ahead! Look at your girls, because it’s the last chance you’ll ever get. I’m done! You are DONE!
My hands, steepled in front of me, shook as my elbows dug into my knees. I pressed my fingers to my mouth and breathed harshly across my knuckles.
I was sitting on the step outside my house, watching the road. Waiting. I could feel myself trembling. My entire body, not just my hands.
I’d been a fucking wreck like this all day. I cut myself twice at work. I nearly ran off the road coming home.
This is a mistake. I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. I don’t deserve—
My phone beeped from the back pocket of my pants. I dug it out, wondering if it was Val telling me she’d changed her mind and fuck you, you’ll never see them again, you piece of shit.
But it wasn’t Val.
Have fun with those beautiful girls and SMILE. You did it, Sean! xx
Shayla.
I took a breath after reading. It felt like my first one in minutes. I immediately felt better.
What the fuck would I have done if Shayla hadn’t been working with me today? The whole time, every chance she got, her voice was in my ear, telling me how proud she was of me and how my girls will be proud too. How much they’ll love this house and what I’ve done to it, and seeing me…how happy it’ll make them.
I didn’t ask her to do that. I didn’t tell Shayla I needed to hear what she was saying, she just knew.
Just like now…she just knew what I needed.
This would not be happening if it weren’t for her. Not now. I’d still be waiting to get furniture, meaning my girls would not be seeing me today, since Val wasn’t allowing them to see me without checking out where I was living. The meet had to be here. She wanted to make sure I was stable—that I didn’t lie about the house. I got that. She didn’t have any reason to believe me. I had done nothing but lie to her before.
And I wouldn’t have allowed my girls here if the house wasn’t ready. It was ready now because of Shayla. Because of what she’d done for me.
This was all because of her.
I’d tried staying away from this girl. I knew I had no business being around her. Then I made it my business being around her, because seeing her cry was not something I ever wanted to fucking see again. Now I was in a spot with her I wasn’t familiar with—we were friends. She cared about me. She did things for me because she wanted to do them. She did things for me I never expected. She smiled at me. She hugged me. She helped me. She wanted me around.
She did all this without being obligated. She just did it.
I wasn’t nothing to her, and I did not fucking understand that, but fighting her, fighting this…I couldn’t do it.
