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This was it. Now to do what I came here to do.
But just as I prepared to make my move and kiss him, Sean spoke. “It’s late. I should get you home.”
I did not want to go home. Not even in the slightest. “Or, I could stay,” I suggested bravely.
Alcohol made me giggle and it gave me courage. I wasn’t sure I would’ve ever made that suggestion sober.
I was no longer regretting those Creamsicle margaritas.
Sean’s brows shot up at my proposal, then his face softened as he subtly shook his head. “Shayla,” he began. His voice was strained.
“I just have so much more I want to tell you.”
“You’ve said a lot already.”
“Not everything, though.” I slid my hands up his arms, past his broad shoulders to his neck, mouth open to say it, just say it.
“Not tonight.”
The words in my heart died on my tongue.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“You’ve said a lot, Shayla,” he repeated, slowly and firmly.
“I haven’t though. Not that much.”
“You have,” he stressed. “Trust me, you have. I’m still hearin’ it, all right?”
My lips pressed together. I understood then what he was saying.
Accepting the things I’d already told him tonight and before wasn’t easy, but Sean was trying. He wasn’t fighting me or arguing or asking me to call him “nothing.” He was hearing me and letting it all sink in.
I had a feeling, a good one, that he’d continue hearing me and everything else I planned on saying. And knowing that and considering how important Sean had become in my life, I’d respect the time he needed. I wouldn’t push him.
“Okay,” I said. “Not tonight.”
Sean’s thumb on my jaw moved the tiniest bit. My knees locked.
God, I felt that move everywhere.
“You gotta work tomorrow?” he asked.
“Yes. All day. You?”
“Same.” He took a deep breath. “This ain’t a good idea.”
“What?”
“You stayin’ here.”
“You’re right.” I leaned closer. “It’s a great idea.”
The corner of his mouth lifted.
I thought about not pushing him, about respecting the time he needed, and made myself clear on one thing.
“If you really don’t want me here, you can take me home.”
Breathing loud and heavy, he stared deep into my eyes. “I haven’t laid with a woman in a long time.”
Oh, God.
I loved how he said that, and I loved that he said that. His honesty sometimes was overwhelming in the best possible way.
“Well, I’m sure it’s just like riding a bike,” I reassured him.
Deep inside his chest, he chuckled. I knew that was a good sign. I grinned up at him.
“How many drinks you have tonight?” he asked, watching my mouth.
“Three.”
“Big ones?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“You gonna be hungover tomorrow?”
“It’s a possibility. I feel good now, though.”
“’Cause you’re still drunk.” He shook his head, but not in a disapproving way. Then his hand on my neck pulled off so that same hand could find my lower back, where he pressed and turned me in the direction of the hallway.
I took his lead and walked ahead.
My heart was racing. My insides were warming deliciously.
I was spending the night with Sean. I was going to lay with him and possibly cuddle.
This was a big, big deal.
Passing the girls’ bedroom first, then the bathroom, I finally made it to the room at the end of the hall, and flipped the light on overhead.
The bedroom was small and hadn’t been painted yet, but thanks to Monica, Sean had a bed frame now with a headboard and footboard instead of just a mattress on the floor, plus a wide dresser he could keep all his clothes in, freeing up the trunk he’d been using for storage. That was utilized as a nightstand now.
What he didn’t have was a comforter set or any sort of bedding whatsoever. Just a sheet laid out on the mattress, one pillow, and an old, quilted blanket that looked well used. The color was a faded patchwork.
I didn’t comment on the appearance of Sean’s bed, but I did make a mental note to ask the girls if anyone had any spare bedding they weren’t using.
I was also prepared to browse the home section at Target next time I ran out.
“You need anything?” Sean asked, moving ahead of me into the room and looking back.
“Um, just a toothbrush. I still taste like Creamsicle.”
He jerked his chin at the door. “Bathroom. I just got the one.”
“That works.” I smiled at him before turning and heading out, slipping into the bathroom.
I had absolutely zero problems using Sean’s toothbrush. Some people might find that gross. I did not. I didn’t find anything about him gross.
I quickly brushed my teeth and decided on leaving my makeup as is, since I didn’t have face wash or anything besides Dial soap handy, then after relieving myself, I turned off the light and moved back into the bedroom.
Sean was sitting on the edge of the bed, still shirtless and in his jeans, his head lowered, his hair tucked behind his ears, and his hands steepled in front of his face.
