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I had so much to say. So much we probably needed to talk about. I also wanted to remain silent and still and simply listen to Sean breathe.
“Think your car’s still runnin’,” he mumbled.
My eyes shot wide. Okay, plan C then.
Cursing, I got to my feet and started grabbing up my clothes, telling him while I hastily dressed, “Oh, my God. And the door’s still open. Shit! That’s basically an invite.”
Sean chuckled, and because he only had jeans to pull on for him to be decent, he stepped out to take care of my car before I even had my shirt on.
Once covered, I walked out and stood on the porch, watching him.
After fetching the can of hair spray I’d dropped and forgotten, Sean pulled my car into the driveway instead of leaving it in the street, then he locked it up and walked across the grass barefoot. When he reached the porch steps, I was laughing.
“Oops,” I mumbled behind my fingers.
Oh, well. This neighborhood was safe enough.
Smiling, Sean handed me the keys and climbed the steps. Then he put his hand on my hip and backed me inside the house, closing the door behind us without looking. He stopped us just inside the living room and stared at me.
And since he wasn’t smiling anymore, I wasn’t either.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I finished in you,” he said.
Oh, right. That.
“You did.” I placed my hands flat on his chest. “I told you to.”
“Why?”
My fingertips pressed in.
Because I’ve wanted this for so long.
Because you’re amazing and this, us together, is amazing, and because I knew that would be amazing too.
Because I’m in love with you and have been since last summer.
I had options, all ready to leave my tongue. It was simple: I just needed to pick one.
“Because you deserved it,” I said.
Sean’s brow rose.
My God, how stupid did I sound right now? Like Sean had won a prize or something?
Great job on all the fucking, now finish inside me because you’ve sure earned this pussy!
Ugh!
“Um.” I shifted on my feet as nerves prickled low in my belly and the urge to run and hide grew overwhelming. Explain yourself, Shay! “You know, aside from there not being any risk of getting me pregnant since I’m on the pill, I just meant, like, you deserved it based on how good you are…as a person. Not at sex. But, well, that too. You were awesome at that. So, so great. Amazing. All the stars.”
Sean’s mouth twitched.
I could feel heat rising in my cheeks. I wanted to dig myself a hole right there beneath his house and never climb out of it.
“I just mean, you’re good enough for sex.”
Sean cocked his head.
No. God, fix it!
“All sex. Sex in its completion.”
His brow furrowed.
I began speaking at a much faster pace.
“You’re good enough for someone who doesn’t need to be paid. Someone you can share sex with and have it be meaningful, you know? Special sex. You’re good enough for special sex, Sean!”
He stared at me.
Sweet Jesus, I sounded like an idiot.
Dropping my head to his chest, I groaned. “Am I making sense at all? I feel like I should just stop talking.”
His body shook against mine with a chuckle, then, feeling his hands in my hair, I glanced up.
His lips were curling ever so slightly.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” I questioned hesitantly.
His eyes got soft and a little sad. “I’m good enough for you,” he said, voice quiet.
“Yes.” I pressed closer. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. That’s what I’ve been saying all along.” He tried looking down and away, but I wouldn’t let him. I held his face. “You deserve love and kindness because you put out those things, Sean. You deserve to feel wanted. I want you. I want you so much. Let yourself feel that.”
He sucked in a breath.
“Okay?” I asked.
He stared at me for a moment, then letting his eyes slip closed, he pressed his forehead against mine, breathing slowly and evenly, and I nearly asked again—I was ready to repeat my entire speech—but Sean’s head gave a slight jerk against mine.
Knowing that was his way of saying yes, I clung to him.
Finally.
“Do me a favor?” he asked.
“Anything,” I rushed out.
God, I meant that too. I’d do anything for Sean. I wouldn’t even question it.
Sean leaned back to look at me. “Don’t stop talkin’,” he said. “I like hearin’ you, Shayla. I always did. I gotta keep hearin’ you.”
The air went out of my lungs.
Holy fuck. That might’ve been the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. Lord knows, I was a talker. I knew I was. I also knew it annoyed a lot of people. They told me.
And now I knew it did not annoy Sean.
Hot damn.
I grinned at him, stepping closer and curling my hands around his ribs. “Would you like me to tell you specifically what all I found to be amazing about our sex? I could go on for hours.”
