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I freeze out of pure shock. “Have you lost your mind? You want me to come in where she is?”
“No.” He rubs an eye with the heel of his hand. “Look. Fuck. I didn’t want to do it this way. It’s so damn complicated.”
“Do what?”
“It’s my daughter. She’s inside. Sleeping.”
“Your . . . what?” I’m not breathing. My brain, fuzzy from the alcohol, takes a few seconds to catch up. “You have a daughter?”
“Yes, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but she’s in my life, and I was afraid you’d freak out. I planned to say something eventually, but that plus an ex-wife? I didn’t think you were ready for all that.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, that’s a lie. I’m the one who wasn’t ready.”
I go to him. “Oh, God. I-I’m sorry. We’ve only known each other a couple weeks, of course I don’t expect you to spill your life story right away.”
His forehead wrinkles, his eyes darting over my face. “Really?”
“Yes, really. God. I’m so embarrassed.”
He half smiles, the lines in his face easing, a dimple denting his cheek. “I wasn’t going to tell you over a text. Plus, I felt like a huge ass because I forgot I had Marissa tonight. What kind of dad does that?”
“Marissa?” I ask.
He nods. “She’s eight. It’s not my usual weekend with her, but my ex went to a concert in the city, so I said I’d watch her tonight. It slipped my mind because . . . well, you know.”
“I do?”
“You,” he says. “You’ve stolen all my sense since I met you. You’ve dominated my thoughts.”
I melt a little. He must notice, because he slips an arm around my waist to pull me against his body. “You look good tonight.”
“I’m wearing practically the same outfit I was last night.”
“That’s why I like it.” He runs the tip of his nose along the bridge of mine. “I can’t let the door shut. It locks automatically. Come in.”
As good as it feels to be back in his embrace, he was right when he said his personal life is complicated. This is the last thing I expected to find tonight. “I should’ve respected what you said. I thought—I don’t know what I thought. My friends convinced me to come here.”
“Who are these friends?” he asks. “You haven’t mentioned any yet.”
“Oh, they’re not really friends. It’s just Benny, my assistant, and a friend of hers.”
“Well, I’m glad that—Benny?”
“Short for Benedicta.”
“I’m glad Benny talked you into it. I really did want to see you, I just didn’t think it’d be a good idea to explain things like this.”
“I understand.” I tilt my head up, angling for a goodbye kiss I probably don’t deserve. “I’ll let you get back to her.”
He just tucks some of my hair behind my ear, distinctly not kissing me. “Kendra’s picking Marissa up first thing in the morning. God forbid she lets me have her for longer than twelve hours during her weekend.”
I’m not sure how to respond. “I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault. Stay tonight. You can sleep late while I hang with Marissa. She’ll be gone by the time you get up.”
“No. I’m not here to butt into your life.”
He looks at me thoughtfully. “I think I like your butt in my life.”
“I can’t—”
“I insist.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. It’s tempting, and thankfully, I know how persistent he can be. Otherwise we wouldn’t be standing here. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “It’s probably too soon for . . . all of this. But you’re here, and I don’t want you to leave.”
Crossing paths with Marissa sounds terrifying—for all of us—but I showed up because I wanted to spend time with Finn. That hasn’t changed. I smile. “All right. I’ll stay.”
He glances over his shoulder. “She’s asleep.”
“I’ll be quiet.”
He takes my hand and leads me through the apartment. It’s dark and still, as if they’ve been snoozing a while. Jenga blocks are scattered on the coffee table. We pass through the hallway and I remember the other closed door that isn’t his studio or his bedroom. It must be hers.
When we’re in the master, he gently closes the door behind us. “You’re probably not even tired.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m a good sleeper.”
“I know you are.” He grins, walking over to his dresser. “You wear a men’s large, right?”
“Excuse me?”
He laughs, holding up a gray t-shirt. It’s several sizes too big, but he tosses it to me. “It’s all I got.”
I sneak a sniff while his back is turned. Freshly-laundered Finn. “Can I, um . . . use your bathroom?”
“I’ve seen you naked,” he teases. “Not a fraction of the times I plan to, but still.”
Sure, right after I’d gotten him good and horny with my mouth. Now, we’re just standing here in the moonlight, and I’m supposed to get naked without any reservations? “I’m still a little shy.”
He gestures for me. “Come here.”
Gripping the t-shirt, I close the small space between us.
“I like you shy. And not shy.” He drops a smooth, lingering kiss on my lips. “And everything else you are or are not.”
I smile against his mouth. “For a photographer, you’re not half bad with the words.”
“I’m not half good, either. I’ll leave that to you.” He turns me by my shoulders to the bathroom. As if I could forget where the shower is after this morning’s peep show.
I change quickly, folding my clothes on the counter. I fix my hair and squeeze his toothpaste onto my finger before running it through my mouth. Instead of drinks with Benny, I’d been planning to run home and grab some things before coming here for the night. Change of plans, though.
A daughter. An eight-year-old daughter. Finn must’ve had her young. Younger than I am now. By my age, he would’ve had a toddler at home. I widen my eyes at myself in the mirror. A toddler!
I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that he’s a dad. He’s had a history, a marriage, and a baby with another woman. It’s too soon for me to decide if it means anything to me, which is just as well. I don’t have time to process it now.
I come out of the bathroom in nothing but Finn’s t-shirt and a thong. I’m glad the hem sits well down my thighs. If I’d known I’d be here tonight, I would’ve worn booty shorts to hide the dimples in my ass.
Finn is splayed on the mattress, his arm behind his head. He takes one look at me, rolls his eyes, and looks away.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, stopping at the foot of his bed.
“That’s the kind of thing you’d wear right after we’d, you know. So it makes me think of . . .” He turns on his side, away from me. “I don’t want to have sex while she’s in the apartment.”
“No, of course not,” I say quickly. “I didn’t expect that. At all.”
“Good.” He doesn’t look back at me. “Get under the covers and pull them up to your chin.”
I laugh.
“I’m not joking. If I see a sliver of skin, I can’t be held responsible for breaking my own rules. Again.”
With what’s beginning to feel like a permanent smile on my face, I pull back the bedspread. Finn shifts over until there’s enough space to fit Canada between us.
“Are you decent?” he asks.
“Not yet.” I tent the covers over us and mirror his position, folding my arm under my head as I turn onto my side. Except that I can actually see him.
Finn’s still in his sweatpants.
Still shirtless.
