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“So what do you think?” she asked, looking around.
“I think it’s great!” I smiled.
“So what will you two ladies be having?” The waitress came over, wanting our drink order.
“She’ll have a half pint of Toasted Blondie,” Sofia said without hesitation.
“And you?” the waitress said to Sofia.
“An ice tea.”
“I’ll give you two a minute to look over the menu,” she said, leaving us.
“So what do you usually order?” I asked, looking at Sofia in her element.
“You’ll see.”
Sofia ordered for both of us. She knew what I liked and wanted me to try her new favorite, which was a white pie with mashed potatoes on top. She also order a traditional red pie with mozzarella and a salad for us to share.
“Who the hell is going to eat all that?” I asked her once she finished ordering.
“Us!”
“You’re impossible.” I shook my head, knowing my sister’s eyes were always bigger than her stomach.
“So how’s school?” I asked, taking a sip of my beer.
“Pretty good. I'm getting good grades,” she answered proudly.
“That’s great, Sofia. I'm really proud of you.”
“I'm thinking about going to medical school,” she said, taking my half pint glass into her hand and taking a sip.
“Really?” I said, kind of taken aback.
I knew she was considering, but I thought the moment she started classes, she might have chosen something else.
“Yeah, my grades are exactly where they need to be. So I'm thinking of continuing. If I can get a scholarship, that is,” she said softly.
“You just keep doing what you’re doing and don't worry about the money. We’ll figure it out,” I winked.
“I don't want Daimon paying for it,” she snapped.
“Daimon is your brother-in-law now. If he can help, then he will,” I said dismissively at her. I knew him enough to know the moment I said it to him, he’d ask me for something I would not want to give.
“Addie—”
“Look, let’s not get all fired up about something that’s three years away. I want to eat and hear about your life here in New Haven.”
I sat with my little sister listening to her adventure and how everything had changed for her. She explained how she wanted to see more of the world and was excited to be in school. She complained a lot that it wasn’t easy, but she loved the challenge.
“I'm glad it passed your expectation and I'm happy you want more out of life,” I said softly, finishing the last bite of pizza.
We sat for over three hours catching up. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until we sat down to eat. My little Sofia, who slept beside me since she was four, was now her own woman, coming into her own. I could even see her wings as she began to spread them, wanting to soar high above all I had taught her.
“How about tomorrow? We meet at Atticus Bookstore, have some coffee and then I’ll show you around Yale,” she said excitedly.
“Sure, why not.” I smiled, content at her confidence.
“I’ll even give you your present,” I teased.
“Give it to me now!” she held out her hand.
“Fine!” I reached into my purse and took out a card. She laughed.
“Oh, all I get is a card,” she mocked, but her smile disappeared the moment she opened it and found a prepaid credit card.
“I want to make sure you have everything you need,” I smiled.
“Addie, you coming here was my present. I don't want money from you. I’m tired of taking all your money. It’s just you I want to spend time with,” she said quietly.
“I'm here now and I’ll be here whenever you want. I'm not going anywhere. Use the card to come home, use the card to get whatever you want.” I took her hand and held it. “I love you, you little shit,” I winked. I missed calling her that. I hadn’t been able to since she left.
Ted made sure the bill was charged to Daimon and drove us to her dorm.
“I’ll be there around eleven, okay?” I said to Sofia as she got out of the car.
“Okay, eleven tomorrow at Atticus.” She waved. I watched her go inside, disappearing into the crowd of students who shared her dorm.
I spent the rest of the night hating myself for being resentful that Sofia was considering medical school. I loved my little sister more than anything in the world, but I felt a sense of betrayal. Had she chosen another field, I would still feel some envy, but she had chosen my dream and was now trying to achieve what I couldn’t fulfill myself. I berated myself for being so petty and small. I should be happy Sofia was chasing her dream, but as much as I told myself off, I still couldn’t move past how jealous I was. She now had freedom to experience things I only dreamt of. I gave up ten years of my life to the diner, losing time and a chance to live out my own life. I cried quietly, knowing I was truly a horrible person. How can I be jealous of her? This was what I wanted for her my little sister, yet I was resenting her for taking my place.
