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“Just leave me alone,” she said roughly.
“Are you fucked? I’m not leaving you alone. I told you to leave. I told you to save yourself, yet you stayed. Now you have to deal with it, with me and with our loss. Do you understand me, Addie? I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with you, watching you destroy yourself over something you had no control over,” I fired back as I walked into out room.
“Screw off, Daimon. I just need some time,” she replied bitterly.
“Time? Why?” I pushed, but Addie kept her mouth shut. I lowered myself down and grabbed her shoulders tightly. “Say it, Addie, just fucking say it,” I barked.
“Say what, Daimon? That I feel empty, lost. That I need time to deal with the fact I’m no longer carrying my baby? That one minute I was pregnant, and I finally felt like I knew what I wanted, and then in the next, I lost everything. Is that it? Is that what you so desperately want me to say to you? Okay, Daimon, I said it. Now what? Can you make it better? Can you change it? Can you bring back our little baby?” she shouted, her face flushed as she clenched her hands into tight fists.
My voice lowered. “No, Addie, I can’t bring back our baby, and I can’t change it either. But I’ll be damned if you stay quiet and hold all this inside you. Swear at me, yell at me, tell me you hate me, but do something other than what you’re doing now. Because seeing you like this…it’s tearing away at me, at my soul. Don’t you fucking get it?” I demanded her to understand.
“I know…I know. I’m sorry.” A flash of pain passed over her face when she reached out and touched my face.
“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be my Addie,” I said forcefully.
“Okay.” She held onto my face, bringing her lips down to my forehead. “Daimon, I don’t blame you. I’m just hurting. I finally found what I didn’t know I wanted, and then I lost it. I lost it all in one day. It’s just hard to digest. You know?” Addie gently smiled as she cried quiet tears.
“I know, because the same fucking thing happened to me. Fuck, Addie, I never wanted kids, ever. Never thought I could be a good parent. But when you told me, and I saw those images of your belly growing with our baby inside, our possible future started swirling around in my mind; I felt like I had finally found something I never knew I was missing. I fucked this up for us, beloved. I really did.” My voice dropped and the roots of my remorseful tightened around my insides, holding fast and hard. I ached, knowing that my shit-filled ways contributed to this.
“Daimon, you didn’t make Hugh do this. Hugh made Hugh do this. He made the decision to take it this far. You only did what you always do and that’s business. It was never personal,” Addie reassured me.
With a low and rough voice, I choked back the hard lump in my throat. “I love you, Addie.”
“Not as much as I love you,” she breathed out. I reached up and cupped her face, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. From deep within me, I felt an urge to take her. To be inside her. To feel the warmth of her core holding me tightly, protecting me from the pain I was feeling. I leaned forward and took her lips as though they were mine to do as I pleased. Addie gave into me instantly, her body melting into my embrace. Slowly, I slid my hands along her skin, placing them on the bed. I tilted forward, and with my kiss, I pressed her down, making her soft body liquefy as it touched the mattress. I pushed myself up, pulling away from our kiss and gazed down at her. I gazed on and watched her beautiful face.
“Addie, you brighten my soul. You make me a better man. I…fuck, Addie, I love you so much, I can’t even say it right,” I bit back, upset I couldn’t quite tell her how much she had seeped into me and changed me.
“If you can’t tell me, Daimon, show me,” she said softly as she pushed back my hair and held my cheek with her palm.
I pulled myself up, towering over her and slipped off her yoga pants. Addie reached for her shirt and removed it. There Addie was, lying before me with her lacy white bra and nothing else. Her soft cream-colored skin, her beautiful scar that slightly peeked through from behind her; she was all mine. To have for as long as I could keep her. Watching her through hooded eyes, she reached for her sweet honey-tasting pussy and began slowly playing with her glistening lips. I unbuckled the belt of my suit pants, the air around us thick with wanton need. I had to breathe slowly to let myself take in the sight of my woman as I took off my pants and leisurely unbuttoned the cuffs of my shirt. Addie’s head moved to one side, her body stirring as she circled her fingers around her clit. I shrugged my shirt off, one shoulder at a time, savoring the moment before I would devour her entirely.
