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I swipe the tears from my cheeks and nod so hard my neck hurts. “Okay. That sounds fun.”
I look to Emily who shrugs. “Sounds pretty typical heroine to me.”
Whatever.Chapter ThirtyHiccup.
Throat cleared.
Eyes closed.
Three count.
“Des…per…ado…o…o…o…”
I suck in a breath after my killer opening, ready to amaze these people with my angelic voice that will no doubt have the angels in heaven green with envy and dreading the day I join their choir. But just as I’m about to belt out the next line, I hear a grumbled phrase from the crowd that is all too familiar.
“Oh for fuck’s sake…”
I scan the eight hundred square foot karaoke bar to find the source of the male voice who used Jake’s signature line and interrupted my song. The nearly bald, red-faced, overall wearing big guy in the corner looks like the type to get pissed over just about anything. So, no surprise he’s mad at me because I’m awesome.
I motion to the guy running the karaoke machine to stop the song. When the music dies, I turn back to the man. “Um. Excuse me, sir. But I’m kinda havin a bad day.” Hiccup. “The man I love wants us to just be casual. So I’m a little sensitive right now and I’m gonna need you to not be a dick, ‘kay?”
My speech earns me a room full of sympathetic faces, three shots of cheap whiskey and a round of applause encouraging me to finish the song. So I let everyone feel sorry for me. Drink the whiskey. And nod to the karaoke guy to restart Clint Black’s rendition of Desperado.
Deep breath.
Hiccup.
Eyes closed.
Three count.
“Des…per…” Hiccup. “Ado…o…o…o…”
“My fuckin’ ears are bleeding.”
This motha…
“Sir!” Everyone flinches at the squeal of the mic when I rip it off the stand so I can face the douche canoe who clearly doesn’t know a legend in the making when he hears one. “Would you kindly shut the hell up and let me have my moment?”
Hiccup.
“Sure, sugar. Have your moment. Just don’t sing.”
I glare at him. “Singing makes me feel better.”
“Makes us feel worse.” His weak-ass comeback earns a few chuckles from the crowd of thirteen. Laughing along with them, he turns to Emily who sits alone at the bar. “Has she always been this bad of a singer?”
“She has.”
Fucking Emily.
Hiccup.
“Can a girl have a broken heart? Please? Can I just sing like shit and drink cheap whiskey,” hiccup “and hiccup and not have to hear any of y’all’s criticisms?”
“You can do anything you want on that stage, girl. As long as it ain’t singing.”
Another round of laughs.
Another hiccup.
Another raised glass to toast the suggestion of my silence. Even Emily lifts her Green Apple Smirnoff.
What is she? A sophomore in high school?
“So let me get this straight.” Hiccup. “I can’t sing…on karaoke night…to help deal with what is possibly the worst day of my life…but I can do anything else? I guess if I took my clothes off for your pervy ass that would be okay.”
Red-faced-asshole lifts his glass. “Hell yeah it would!”
“That’s not going to happen.”
The bar falls silent.
Every head turns.
Panties disintegrate.
Men wither.
I hiccup.
Jake Swagger is here. In a suit. Staring at me so hard—so intensely—my knees go weak and I have to cling to the microphone stand to keep myself upright.
He came.
He came!
Fuck he looks good.
So damn good.
Play it cool.
Play it cool.
I cross my arms over my chest, lift my chin and square my shoulders as I try not to crumble at the sight of those gray-blue-green eyes that level me through the cloud of smoke separating us. “Can I help you?”
“Maybe. I’m looking for a girl.”
I can’t keep the hope out of my voice. “You are?”
“I am.” That damn smile of his… “Her mother told me I could find her here.”
Aww…thanks, Mom.
“Right. Um. Well. Maybe you should’ve tried calling her.”
“I have.”
“No you haven’t,” I deadpan.
“Yes. I have. Seems she forgot to pay her cellphone bill.”
You gotta be shittin’ me…
“No. I’m not shittin’ you.”
Thoughts! Be silent!
“Why are you lookin’ for her?”
“Because she ran out on me earlier today without so much as a goodbye.”
“Typical heroine.” I shoot Emily a look of warning. “What? It’s true.”
I pull in a breath and stand a little taller as I address Jake once again. “Well you must’ve done something,” hiccup, “for her to just up and leave like that.”
“You’re right. Perhaps it was because I offered to buy her a helicopter.”
Some drunk chick gasps. His eyes swing to hers and he shrugs all sheepish and shit. “I know. Too much?”
“Hell naw it ain’t too much. You can buy me a heli-chopter.”
Everyone laughs. Even Jake chuckles. And I have to clear my throat to get the attention back on me. This is the Penelope show, damnit.
“I doubt it was that.”
Hiccup.
“Well maybe it was because she eavesdropped on a conversation I had this morning with a friend of mine.”
