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My thoughts chased each other as we rode in the direction of the hotel. Some would say that my asking Hayley to marry me had been impulsive, that I hadn’t thought it through. Except, I’d been wanting to tell her that I loved her since we’d gotten closer in LA but had argued with myself that my feelings hadn’t been real. When I’d realized I wouldn’t be able to carry on if we were no longer together, I knew it would kill me if we ever split up. Call me selfish, but I needed her. Needed her more than I’d ever needed the crutches of drugs and alcohol. I rubbed my sweaty palms down the legs of my shorts. I’d have to fess up to Hayley. Tell her what had made me so fucked-up that I’d become a coke head and a drunk. I resolved to tell her more about my past before I proposed.
We parked our bikes back at the hotel and Hayley wrapped her arms around my waist. “Thanks, honey.” She gave me a hug. “That was so much fun.”
I took off my helmet and shades, then looked her in the eye. “Wanna go for a swim in that awesome pool?”
“Sure.” She wiped perspiration from her heart-shaped face. “It would be nice to cool off.”We ordered a sandwich lunch from room service, washed down with ice-cold lemon tea. After changing into our swimsuits and wrapping sarongs around ourselves, we grabbed some towels and headed up to the fifty-seventh floor…where we stretched out on a couple of chaise lounges under the shade of a palm tree on the decking jutting out over the water. There were several hotel guests up here, but the pool was so big it didn’t feel crowded and a surprisingly calm vibe helped us to chill.
Joe joined us, saying he’d arranged for the bikes to be collected by the rental people. He told us that Axel, Phoenix, Camila, Jake, Ethan, and Violet had gone with Mike to visit the gardens and that Rhys, Zach and Liam were still nursing their hangovers from the excesses of last night. I would have been doing the same if Hayley hadn’t rescued me, I thought to myself. Did I really have so little self-control that I needed her to keep me on the straight and narrow? I blew out a breath.
My heart thudding, I leaned toward Hayley and took her hand. “It’s time I told you more about myself, sweetheart.” I fixed her with my gaze. “When you hear what I’m about to say, you might change your mind about me…”
Her amber eyes crashed into my blues. “Jesus, honey. I’d guessed there was something dark in your past. Nothing you say will make me stop loving you.” Her luscious mouth twisted. “When you love someone, you love them despite their faults.”
We swiveled our bodies until we were facing each other, our feet on the decking and our knees touching. Then, I told her everything. About my dysfunctional family, how I’d found friendship with Danilo Ramos, how we ran drugs, robbed people’s houses, and threatened other kids with our knives, extorting money from them, and how I would have ended up in a juvenile detention center if it hadn’t been for my inspirational music teacher, Mr. Phillips.
“He sounds amazing,” Hayley whispered.
“Yeah. He arrived at my school a couple years before I was due to leave and ran an after-school club. A lot of us from the council estate started hanging out there instead of spending our time on the streets. That’s where I learned to play the guitar and drums.”
“Did you make a clean break from the gang?” she asked, her gaze holding mine.
“Not exactly.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Problem was, I owed Ramos money. Money I’d spent on buying myself a guitar and a set of drums to practice on at home.”
She drew her brows together. “Did you manage to pay him back?”
I shook my head. “There was no way I could do that. He wanted me to carry on running drugs for him. Said he’d wipe out my debt if I did.” I stopped. Searched for the right words… not that any words would be right for what I was about to say. “I refused. And the day I went into school to collect my grades, the exam results that would decide if I’d gotten into university, he was waiting for me outside the gates.” I paused again. Hard to speak with a clogged throat. “Danilo Ramos came at me with a knife.” My voice croaked. “We got into a fight. Mr. Phillips stepped in. Tried to break us apart. The knife meant for me stabbed him in the chest.” I released a long, slow, breath. “He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.”
