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The quieter I try to be all morning long, the more the gossip seems to ignite. I am doing to opposite to what should set it off, but it seems to be making it a million times worse. I don’t know what I can so. There have been so many times in which I have nearly exploded but I have just about kept it inside. For now… but now I can hear people discussing my clothing, knowing that I have stayed out all night long, and I can’t handle it any longer.
“I’m going,” I gasp to Rebecca as I stalk passed her, knowing that if I let any more words out, I will erupt like a fucking volcano and make messy lava everywhere, wrecking the atmosphere in the company that I have worked so hard to build. “I have some things that I need to get done at home, okay?”
“Sure,” she replies breezily after me, acting like she hasn’t been talking about me as well. I haven’t heard her directly, but I have no doubt that she has been. “I will call you if we need you.”
I don’t have my car with me which is God damn annoying and means another cab ride until I can relax but as soon as I am indoors, in my own space, and immediately in the shower, I start to feel a little bit better. Sure, things might seem like the end of the world right now, but it really isn’t that bad. People do a lot worse and it doesn’t damage their reputation and business. Just because people can see a bit of chemistry in those pictures it doesn’t mean they know what happened between me and Gemma. Not for sure anyway, and I’m certain that just like me she will want to forget all about it so it will simply die away.
In a weird way, I kinda want to talk to her to see where her head is at, just to confirm that we are on the same page of course. Just to know that she still hates me as much as she always did and that me and her head is scrambled as well but I don’t have her phone number. Why would I? We haven’t ever spoken before.
“Never mind,” I hiss to myself. “It doesn’t matter. None of this does. I just need to forget about it all.”
Once I’m washed and dressed once more, I grab my laptop and flop on to my couch, prepared to work from home with a much cooler head. I also flick on the TV to have some noise in the background. In the end, I find myself watching TV more than working but it’s certainly better being here alone rather than surrounded by other people and knowing that they are all talking about me. I just hope that something dramatic happens soon to take the focus off of me and Gemma. That would be ideal.Chapter 8 – Gemma“What the fuck?” I grab a pillow and toss it on to the floor hard as I realize what is going on here. “What the actual fuck? This is seriously messed up. How can he just treat me like a piece of meat?”
I don’t know if I am annoyed about Daniel and his, admittedly expected, treatment of me by running out after we have had sex since he is a notorious play boy, or if I’m angry at myself for being stupid enough to become one of the notches on his bed post. It doesn’t help that I keep thinking about Roman’s accusations about me liking him, that is winding me up because I don’t. It isn’t that at all, it was just one of those things.
But now I am left feeling like a fool, like a total idiot. Dirty and used by him. I want to curl up in a ball and cry because I am so hurt about what has happened. I could let out a giant scream from the pit of my stomach. I’m all primal and animalistic, but nothing like I was last night. Instead, I’m angry, visceral, about to lash out.
I need to go with the anger. The anger is better than the heart ache. I can’t stand being upset over some small-minded idiot like Daniel. He doesn’t deserve it. I also know that I can’t just let it go either. I have to do something about this. I’m not going to let myself be treated like the rest of the women. I’m sure that the rest of them just slink off in to the background all ashamed that they got fooled by Daniel Wilson, but not me. I am going to make sure he knows that you can’t just treat people this way, that he has to have a lot more respect.
