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“It sounds to me like you are seeing this as a lot worse than it actually is,” he replied calmly. “Both of you which is why there has been such a divide between the pair of you. Why you have both acted like you have. But this will blow over. Things like this always do. You just need to give it time. I mean, you guys aren’t celebrities, you aren’t going to remain interesting forever… sorry for putting it bluntly like that, but soon everyone will move on to something else and you and Gemma will be left to pick up the pieces of what is left behind.”
“But Gemma isn’t even talking to me. I don’t think that she will again. I think that it’s over…”
“Daniel, you actually like this woman,” Tim replies, exasperated. “I know that you haven’t exactly said it but I know you well enough to see right through you. I have never seen you like anyone as you like her, which means that you have to fight for it. You have to battle and show Gemma just how much she means to you. Screw the rest of the world and what they might think. Just focus on Gemma. I wouldn’t want you to throw away something that could potentially be incredible just because of a stupid Internet thing. Imagine if this is your future wife, ‘the one’, the woman that you are supposed to be with because of other people.”
I sigh and nod to myself. “You have it right, Tim. Living off grid seems like the best way. No worries about stupid shit posted on the Internet. I wish that I could be more like you. It sounds pretty blissful actually.”
“Oh God no,” he chuckles. “You are far too different to me. You could never live my life and I couldn’t live yours. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want the best for you. I think Gemma could be that.”
I muse on this thoughtfully for a couple of seconds, letting Tim’s advice wash over me, before I respond. “Maybe you are right. I mean, I have even kind of admitted to myself that I have feelings for Gemma, so perhaps I should try. But is now the right time when she hates me so much? I don’t want to make it worse.”
“If it really is that bad then you probably can’t make it worse, can you?” Tim rationalizes. “Plus, it will show her that it doesn’t matter to you what the rest of the world is saying. That you are willing to fight for her no matter what. Women love a big romantic gesture so perhaps you could go down that route…”
I don’t know if Gemma is like other women in that regard, but I’m desperate and willing to try anything because I just know that all of this will feel a million times less stressful if I have her by my side.
“Thank you, Tim,” I gush desperately. “I think you are right. I will give it a go.”
“Good, and maybe next time you call me, you will be married. I would prefer an invite, but I know what you are like. It’s more likely to be a random spontaneous thing to fit in with your rapid paced life style.”
I let out a little laugh even though I don’t know if I can seriously joke about marriage right now when my emotions are all up in the air, but at least Tim has cleared up something for me. He has helped me to see that my feelings for Gemma run much deeper than I would usually like to admit. I could even fall for her, given half the chance. I want that chance as well, I don’t want to come out of this with any regrets. I’m going to have to try. I don’t know how to do a big romantic gesture or even how to express my feelings for Gemma, much less so when everything is all so messy, but I’m going to give it a go. I really think that she’s worth it.Chapter 14 – GemmaI won’t cry, not again. I refuse to weep over this situation anymore. I don’t often cry about stuff, that isn’t me, but this mess is so dreadful that it’s really dragging me under. The pressure is weighing down on me, filling up my lungs, making it hard for me to live. I don’t know how to cope with this, how to get out of it.
Slut… whore… tramp… Eve might tell me not to look online and to ignore all of the comments being made about me, but that is so much easier said than done. I can’t help it; I keep getting really weak and cracking down. Then the comments fly through my brain all the time and a little bit of me starts to believe them.
