AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I didn’t answer any of the questions like I was supposed to, like my mother told me to, and she is going to kill me for that.” My heart is in my throat. “She is going to be so mad. She put so much in to trying to make this work and I kept stammering and saying stupid stuff. I went bright red and even started talking about some college party inside of my building that I didn’t attend because I was working which… you just don’t say.”
“Why not?” Tim looks at me blankly. “Surely that shows how dedicated you were to success.”
I can’t stop myself from feeling a little frustrated as I stare at him because he really doesn’t get it. He is so different from me, he lives a care free life without any pressure what so ever, there is no way that he can see how dreadful this is going to be for me. There is no way that I will get this through to him.
“Oh God but they asked me why I was passionate to be a lawyer and I basically said that I’ve been cornered in to it by my mother.” I slide my eyes closed at my heart stops beating making my blood run ice cold. “I didn’t directly say that, but I gave that impression. They shared this look, Tim. A knowing look. They just thought of me as some bimbo who doesn’t have any of my mother’s intelligence at all. They saw right through me. I was supposed to have my mask on so they thought that I could do it and I proved to them that I am a failure.”
If he tells me something along the lines of it not being meant to be then I might tear his head off. That will be him really proving that he doesn’t understand me at all, that he doesn’t even want to, but thankfully he doesn’t. He hands me a packet of tissues and rests his hands to comfort me while I cry. It’s a sweet gesture really because he must be able to tell that I can’t handle the idea of being touched any more than this.
I want to breathe out and relax, I would love to lean against him and take some comfort, but the idea of my mother calling me as soon as she has spoken to those men is killing me. She is going to destroy me because of this has only gone wrong because of me. She’s the one who did everything right and when it was put down to me, I messed up. It started with leaving late and culminated in me chatting about shit that I shouldn’t have been talking about. It’s a little blurry now, almost like the fog of my brain is trying to block it all out to protect me, but I think I might have even told them about the broken down car and the drifter man picking me up.
“Oh God,” I groan as it hits me all over again. “Oh God, I have fucked up everything, Tim. There is no coming back from this. My life is ruined. I might as well just give up now. Give up on everything.”
“How old are you?” he demands firmly, his sharp tone making me jump.
“I’m twenty two,” I murmur while furrowing my eyebrows in confusion at him. “Why?”
“You are so young, Kayla. There is no way that you have ruined your whole life. Especially not over one job interview. Everyone goes through set backs in life but people pick themselves back up again. Just because one path doesn’t work out it doesn’t mean that you won’t find another one. That’s just how it works.”
“Not in my life,” I gurgle back a little childishly. “Other people don’t have my mother…”
“But your mother isn’t leading your life. You are.” He twists his body around to stare at me. I can feel his eyes up on me. “You need to work out what’s right for you and it might be safe to admit that this isn’t it.”
I let those words wash over me for a couple of moments before I breathe out deeply. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
To be honest, I don’t know about anything anymore. I’m not sure what’s going on with me and my life. that interview has completely deflated me. It’s left me emotionally exhausted. I just want to collapse.
Ring, ring… Oh God, the moment that my cell phone rings, panic consumes me. This must be my mother calling me at last to give me her opinion on the mess I have made. Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
But it isn’t my mother. It’s the break down company who now think that it’s the time to let me know that they can’t make it out to fix my car today because of an accident on the road blocking access to me. Normally that would send me in to a tail spin but to be honest it’s just another thing at the end of a shitty day.
