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“I… I…” Fucking hell, I’m crying already. That’s just perfect. “I had a bad day. My car broke down…”
“A bad day?” Uh oh, that definitely isn’t being used as an excuse. “No one can say ‘a bad day’ like that’s a reason. The whole world suffers bad days and they have to get on with it. You can’t allow your personal life to get in the way of your professional one, and that includes car problems. That isn’t an excuse.”
“I know, but it broke down and I was stuck on the side of the road…”
“You were late, Kayla. That’s all they care about. Late and sloppy.”
“I was just on time,” I try and insist but it isn’t getting through to her at all. She doesn’t want to hear it.
“I told you that you have to be early, Kayla. On time is late, you know that. And why aren’t you here? You shouldn’t have stayed away because now it’s going to make things harder for me when it comes to damage control. I don’t even know where to begin with all of that. This is all such a mess for me.”
Mess for her? My God, I know that this isn’t ideal but seriously…
“My car isn’t fixed yet; I have to wait until someone can get it sorted. There was a big accident on the roads yesterday and the tow truck couldn’t make it to me. But I will be back as soon as it’s sorted out.”
“Well a little head’s up would have been nice,” Mom barks angrily. “I don’t know how I’m going to sort this out. It’s going to take me all day, as if I don’t have enough going on in my life.”
“You don’t need to do anything for me, Mom, I can do it when I get back, I don’t want to put you out.”
“Oh, come on,” she scoffs. “You aren’t going to be able to deal with this, Kayla. You don’t know anyone in the law business at all. If I leave it to you, you’ll end up with some slack job that will get you nowhere.”
Or I could end up doing nothing, living on the road, doing whatever I feel like, as Tim does. But obviously that’s only a hypothetical. I wouldn’t really even think that, much less suggest it to my mother.
“No, you have screwed up this opportunity big time,” Mom continues as if she isn’t constantly sticking daggers of self doubt in to me. “You are just lucky that I am friends with Bertram, and we might be able to get passed that without him black listing you. But I am going to need to set up some job interviews very quickly to make sure that people don’t start asking questions about why you aren’t working already. I was in a job the moment that I finished college, I actually started it before I graduated me because my boss at the time believed in me so much.” Of course she was. I wouldn’t expect anything else from my mother. “So, you need to get that stupid car of yours fixed right way. I need you home in the next few hours. The sooner the better.”
I sigh deeply, wishing that I didn’t have to go home ever. I haven’t ever wanted to run off in to the sun set before now, but I honestly don’t want to face her again. It’s going to be agonizing, I can just tell.
“Sure,” I reply despite my real feelings. “I will be back as soon as I can be. Thank you.”
“Hmm, yes,” she bites back. “I will expect you here soon so we can get you back on the right path.”
She cuts me off just as I slump back on to the bed in sheer horror. The idea of going through that horrible interview process again kills me, it destroys me from the inside out, I just don’t know if I can do it again. I won’t be allowed a rest either, that I can truly be sure of. My mother is on a mission to make me the mini version of her, a shadow underneath her, even if she knows that I will never be quite as good as her. That’s probably a comfort to her really, I’m sure that she wants it that way, perhaps she would be less encouraging if she thought that I would over take her. Thankfully she can be sure that’s never going to happen. I just couldn’t.
“Fuck, I don’t want to do that again.” I curl in to myself, wondering if I can just stay in this motel forever. “I don’t want assholes like that looking at me, judging me, hating me. I can’t. I just can’t do it.”
Knock, knock. I jump, kinda thinking that it might be my mother, that she might have found me. Knock, knock.
