Page 20 of Addicted


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Oh God, I don’t know anymore. Maybe I do need to get home and back to real life so I can stop getting myself all freaked out and tied up in knots over nothing.Chapter 9 – TimKayla’s expression is serious as she talks to the break down man about her car. I don’t want to get involved with this conversation because much as I’m involved in Kayla’s life now, I really shouldn’t be. I guess I’m acutely aware that once that car is fixed, she will be out of my life forever more, and that’s a bit much. I don’t know if that’s because of the dream last night or the fun I had with her but it’s all a bit intense.

As I look at Kayla, my feet don’t itch with the need to run away as much. I feel comfortable and able to stay in one place which is an experience that I haven’t ever had before. I don’t know what to do with it.

Oh God. I press my hand to my chest and feel my racing pulse as I stare at Kayla. Oh God, do I like her?

I can’t really like her, can I? She isn’t one of those cool girls like Emma who isn’t going to be bothered when I run off in the middle of the night or whatever. She’s a tightly wound and definitely a commitment type who would hate me forever more. So, I don’t have the right to have feelings for her. I just need to shove whatever this is down and not think about it again. Just help her, like I told myself I would and do the right thing.

But all that thought is fine until Kayla turns around and her eyes meet mine, causing my insides to jolt with shock. I don’t know what it is, but Kayla definitely does something to me. Something intense.

“The car needs to be taken to the local garage to get fixed up,” she tells me regretfully. “The guy said that I can rid with him so thank you for everything that you have done for me. I really appreciate it.”

Everything inside of me sinks. I’m not ready for this to be over yet, I don’t want to say goodbye to Kayla, not all awkwardly in front of the tow truck guy. I’m pretty sure that we both deserve so much more.

“I will take you to the garage,” I blurt out without really thinking about what I’m saying. “I don’t mind. It isn’t like I have anywhere to be. You don’t want to be hanging around on your own while you wait for the car to be fixed. Plus, I don’t want them to over charge you. I know what things cost so I can help you.”

“Oh right.” Her eyes pop wide in surprise. “Really, are you sure? I mean, that would be great because I have absolutely no idea about the cost of cars or anything so it would put me in a better situation.”

Thank God, she brought my innocent sounding reason. I will do all of that for her, of course, but I’m more just happy that I can be around her. “Perfect. Come on then, let’s get going.”

On the ride to the garage, Kayla is quiet. Much too quiet. I can’t help but wonder if she is starting to regret taking the ride with me. I keep trying to start conversations but I’m not getting much back. More just one word answers and short sharp sentences like she isn’t really listening to me which sucks. This might be our final bit of time together and I was really hoping that we would have some good memories to end on.

“Are you really okay, Kayla?” I ask her quietly, really wanting her to open up a bit. “You seem tense…”

She doesn’t answer me right away, but her breaths get a little sharper and shorter which means that she might be getting closer to finally opening up. I sense that I need to be silent until she gets to that point.

“It’s my mother,” she finally admits. “I finally spoke to her this morning and she went crazy at me.” Oh God, I should have known. “Even crazier that I thought she would. She’s trying to get me in to other job interviews right away because I have to find work immediately so as not to tarnish her reputation, and it’s just a lot, you know? It’s a lot of pressure resting down on me. I don’t know how to handle it.”

“You don’t want to go through all of that again?” I ask knowingly. “No and seeing the amount of stress that you were under yesterday, I don’t blame you. It doesn’t look fun at all to me.”

“Well, it might not be fun, but I have to go through it anyway. I can’t let me mom down again. I barely got away with it this time. I still might not. It could still affect her, and I don’t want that…”

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