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My head falls in to my hands as I think about Millie some more. It’s killing me that I have to be here, that I can’t get my sorry ass to The Scarlet Lounge to explain everything to her. It’s my fault as well, I’m the one who keeps screwing up the shots today, it’s like a vicious cycle which I can’t escape from however hard I try.
“Will you just do this already?” I growl at myself. “Stop thinking. Get out of your head now.”
An arm snakes around my back and makes me jump high. I nearly freak out when I see that it’s Ashley and she’s giving me an incredibly self-satisfied smile. Clearly, this is all working out for her. I almost want to congratulate her on her manipulation working, but instead I shake her off because I don’t want her touch.
“What are you doing?” I snap with my eyes darting all around the place to check that we haven’t been caught. The last thing I want is new pictures of us together to add fuel to the flames. “I need a minute.”
“I just came to see how you are, boyfriend.” She shoots me a wink. “God, it’s funny, isn’t it? Now me and you really do need to go out together, don’t we? The public wants to see us together, arm in arm.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous.” I rise to my feet rapidly. “We can’t be seen together. That will make it worse.”
She titters with laughter as if I am the crazy one. “Oh God, you really don’t know how to play the Hollywood game, do you? What’s the matter? Do you have a secret wife or something? Someone who is going to be offended by the idea of me and you together? Because if not then what does it matter? It’s just the Internet talking. The Internet will always be talking, won’t it? It doesn’t matter what about. It’s better that they are talking about you dating me rather than saying awful things. One day, you might have to face that. Then you will be wishing for the day where all they are talking about is a possible romance. Believe you me.”
I part my lips, almost about to ask her what happened in her past, but I snap my mouth together quickly. That could be what she wants here. Perhaps she’s asking for me to get sucked in to this story in another way to manipulate me. I need to remember that she caused all of this, she started it, she’s the one who sold the story and put me in this position, so I really don’t want to give her what she wants. She’s already winning here; I don’t need to give her anymore. Ashley wants a reaction from me and I’m not going to give it to her.
Instead, I’m going to think about Millie, I’m going to focus on her and kick some ass in this scene so I can get it done and finally go to see her. Who knows, if I get done fast enough then maybe I will take some flowers to the bar to treat her, to let her know that I am still all about her no matter what is being written about me online. I need to get to Millie sooner rather than later which means I need to sort myself out. I have to do my breathing exercises to rid my brain of any thoughts and negative emotions. I need to do it, for Millie. For us.Chapter 6 – Millie“…so, that’s when I realized that I needed to divorce the bitch,” Bob slurs as he tells me the same story that I have heard a hundred times. “I wasn’t going to let her cheat on me like that again. Of course, I didn’t want her to get her hands on my money either, but that was a risk that I really needed to take.”
Personally, I think that his ex-wife would have done something better with the money since he has pretty much drunk it away, but there isn’t any point in saying that aloud. I did once when he was winding me up and he stormed out while calling me a million terrible names, but then he was back again the next day having remembered nothing and he was back to drinking and telling me the same stories. It was a waste of my breath.
“I see,” I answer politely instead. “Well, that’s really something, isn’t it, Bob?”
He continues on talking, droning on, moaning about the woman who he is clearly still in love with even though she cheated on him and ‘ruined his life’ but I tune it out and carry on working around him, serving other customers and cleaning up the bar around him… basically doing everything but watching the door because I really have to stop that. My father’s words about Lance have been plaguing me all day and it’s driving me wild. I can’t get it away from my brain, I can’t stop the fear that he might be right. I told myself that I wouldn’t date again. After Dante, I assured myself that being alone was better but now I’m not too sure. I don’t know about anything.
