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Lance doesn’t look convinced. He gives me the same look that Ben did before but that’s okay. I know my own body; I know what’s going on. I can do this wedding; it’s going to be just fine.
I nod at the priest who begins the ceremony, thankfully listening to me when no one else will. At least he gets me and can see that all will be fine. As long as we get started so I can be distracted. I need those words, the binding traditional wedding vows to focus on, I need to think about the part where me and Lance get to be together forever, because these twinges are starting to get to me now. It’s getting a bit much…
Breathe… I tell myself as the romance of the wedding ceremony washes over me. Breathe through the pain.
It isn’t the easiest thing to keep my cries of pain inside, but I just about manage it. I’m so utterly determined not to let anything ruin this that I won’t scream, I won’t worry everyone, even when it’s hard. I’m actually a little proud of myself to be honest. This is some determination, isn’t it?
I even manage to repeat the traditional vows without losing my shit. To have and to hold… until death do us part… for richer, for poorer… all of it. Although I fear that there might be some strain in my voice because I cause some unrest without meaning to. I don’t think I can do it for much longer…
Hold it together., Millie. Don’t fall apart now. Not much longer…
But it does feel long. Much longer than expected. The priest seems to be abandoning me now, slowing his words down at the worst possible moment, right when I need him the most. I want to glare at him, but I don’t even have the strength for that right now. All I can concentrate on is breathing.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Those words unleash something inside of me. I’m freer, I’ve made it, I finally did it. As Lance wraps his arms around me and he presses his lips to mine, kissing me softly, a surprising wetness pops between my legs. Finally, I let out the squeal which I have been trying to keep inside for the entire ceremony, and I admit the truth. I can’t keep it in anymore. I don’t stand a chance. It’s getting too much for me now.
“Ah, shit, I need to get to the hospital,” I cry out loudly. “This baby… it’s coming now…”
I bend double and Lance holds tight on to me, clinging to me as I set about ruining this big dress which I was so determined to keep nice. He drags me to my feet and takes me towards the exit of the church with our family surrounding us, helping me in any way that I can. My father, Lance’s brothers, their direct families as well…
Me and Lance are going to have this baby today, right now, right when I didn’t want to. Yet somehow, because we have everyone around us, everyone with us, it feels strangely perfect. Imperfectly perfect just like our whole relationship. My wedding might be not what I expected, but then none of my life is, and that’s what makes it wonderful.
