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Quinn jerked back like she’d struck him, and then laughed harshly. “Well, hell, Aubry. You win. I should have known the first time you said that you didn’t want this to keep going once we got back into town, that it was just sex for you. Stupid of me to think differently.”
It wasn’t just sex. Her mind screamed the words, but she held them inside, because he’d been right. Maybe the things she was upset about right now were partially self-inflicted, but it was only a matter of time before something real happened to break them up for real. If it hurt this much after a few days, going forward any longer was insane when she knew the endgame, even by her standards. They had to end this, and they had to end this now.
Better a little hurt now than a bigger hurt later.
The only problem was that it didn’t feel like a little hurt. It felt like she was cutting her own heart out of her chest.
…
Quinn couldn’t believe the shit he was hearing. He kept thinking this couldn’t possibly be happening, but here Aubry was, standing in front of him and doing her damnedest to see this thing between them go down in flames. Even after he’d clarified what was really a bullshit assumption of hers, she didn’t care.
Which meant she really was just looking for an excuse to call the whole thing off.
“I guess that’s that then.” He barely recognized his own voice. It was hoarse, as if he’d been screaming all the things rushing through his mind during this conversation. Don’t do this. Damn it, you’re really doing it. Don’t ruin us just because you’re scared. Goddamnit, Aubry.
He didn’t say it. She’d already proven she wasn’t going to listen.
Anger rose with every heartbeat, frustration and fury all twisted up into an ugly ball of emotion in his chest. “You want to know a secret, peaches?” He didn’t bother waiting for a response. “The truth is that you’re going to be alone for the rest of your goddamn life if you’re so determined to push people who care about you away.”
“You…care. About me.”
This was it. He saw the fledgling hope in her eyes and knew he could reel her back in with a few carefully chosen words and probably some hot sex. She’d let it go…
And then sometime later down the road, something would happen to trigger her panic, and she’d flip her shit again. When would it stop? Would it stop? She was right. This never would have worked. So he said the one thing he knew would put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship. “I used to.”
Her amber eyes went wide with hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to take the words back.
He didn’t.
Instead, he turned around and walked away, his feet seeming to get heavier with each step. It was over. Really over. There should be relief—he’d worked so damn hard to remove every little bit of unnecessary drama from his life and he’d been pretty fucking successful at it—but all he felt was a yawning loss and that the horrible fear wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.
The thought of going back to mingle with the wedding guests before the ceremony made him want to punch something, so he didn’t go back. Instead, he headed out into the vineyard, walking aimlessly, determined to work off some of the rage and frustration. It didn’t work. All he could see was that last devastated look on Aubry’s face, the hit she’d been bracing for all day that he’d been all too happy to deliver the second the opportunity presented itself.
It would have happened at some point anyways.
It didn’t matter how many times he thought that, it didn’t make him feel any less like a piece of shit. He was the one who’d fought so hard for this. He was the one who’d pushed her well past her comfort zone time and time again.
So, really, the only person he had to blame for this shitty situation was himself. He could have backed off when he walked in on her in the shower, and that would have been the end of that. They had wicked chemistry—so what? A lot of people did, but that didn’t mean they had to explore it.
But then the last few days wouldn’t have happened.
He never would have seen her in her element at that convention. They never would have gotten past the point of vicious snarking at each other. He never would have known that a woman like her could turn his whole world on its head.
I am such a goddamn asshole.
He stomped down on that feeling hard. It took two of them to get to this place. Yes, maybe he was the driving force behind a lot of it, but she wasn’t some blushing virgin. She’d known what she was getting into. Just last night she had agreed that she wanted more from this, just the same as he did, and that conviction had lasted a grand total of twelve hours.
