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The possibility that he wasn’t his father 2.0 had never really occurred to Adam. Oh, he’d fantasized about making different choices when he was too young to know better, but when push came to shove, his instincts were always to walk away. To pursue the next adrenaline rush. Adam glared at the horizon, waiting to feel the pull for the next ride, the next highway to nowhere.
For once in his life, it didn’t have the same siren call as what was behind him—Devil’s Falls, his mama, and Jules.
“Better late than never.” He headed for his truck. He wasn’t sure where to start, but he owed his mama an apology. He’d mishandled things, and having the best of intentions didn’t change the fact that he’d pissed her off something fierce.
The drive back to her place passed in a blur, and then he was striding into the kitchen, where his mama and Lenora were puttering over of pot of what smelled like chicken noodle soup. Lenora took one look at his face and said, “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”
He wanted to tell her that his mama didn’t need her for a conversation with her son, but it was right that Lenora stood with her against the world—even him. His mama had stood alone for far too long, and he was honestly glad that she’d found happiness in the midst of everything. “Mama.”
She braced her frail shoulders like she was going to war and turned to face him. “Son.”
He didn’t want to fight. Fuck, he was so tired of fighting. “I wish you would have told me.”
“That was my choice to make.”
“Mama—”
“I don’t know if it helps or makes it worse, but I haven’t known nearly as long as you seem to think.” She shot a look at the doorway Lenora had disappeared through. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to contacting you.”
He exhaled. She hadn’t hid it from him. Not really. That was just his knee-jerk reaction upon hearing that she had stage-four cancer. It had never occurred to him that it had surprised her as much as him. Great job being sympathetic, ass. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
“You’re overprotective.” She smiled. “There are worse things, especially when I can’t blame your bullheadedness on your father.”
He managed a smile, though it felt brittle. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be there for you without stepping on toes and trying to fix things.”
“Oh, baby.” She crossed the tiny kitchen and took his hands. “Some things you can’t fix, no matter how hard you try. I was never going to make it out of this life alive. None of us are.” She hugged him. “Give me the benefit of choosing how I’m going out. I don’t want the chemo. The cancer is doing enough to me, and I can’t bear the thought of my body wasting away any faster than it already is.”
Stubborn to the very end.
Just like me.
It struck him that he’d been so focused on his old man that he’d never really considered what he’d inherited from his mama. If his father was a leaf on the wind, his mama was as steady as the sunrise. I could have learned a thing or two from her if I’d just held still long enough to realize that. He didn’t know how to prove to her that he was determined to change, but there was only one place to start. “I’m going to buy a house.”
His mama’s eyes went wide. “What?”
“It’s time. If you don’t want chemo, I’m not going to push you. It’s your decision. But I’m going to be here every step of the way and I’m going to help how I can.”
Her grip tightened on his hands. “And after?”
That was the question, wasn’t it? Daniel’s words echoed through his mind.
You’re not eighteen anymore.
It’s time to stop acting like a scared kid.
“I hear the Rodriguez ranch needs help. Daniel would be more than happy to put me to work.”
A shake passed through her body. “Truly?”
How had he never seen how much his leaving hurt his mama? Selfish to the core. Adam hugged her, holding her as tightly as he dared. “I’m not leaving again.” If he could give his mom something, he’d give her this. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. “What I think we both like to forget is that I had two parents. I’m tired of following in the footsteps of that piece of shit.”
“Language.”
“Sorry, Mama. My point is that maybe I could learn a thing or two from the better half of the equation.”
Her smile was a reward all its own. “You’re a good man, baby.”
It was the first time she’d ever said that to him, and if he didn’t quite believe her, not yet, he was determined to make it the truth. He let go of her and stood back, his mind already turning to how he’d make a real life for himself here. He had a ton of money saved up because he’d stopped blowing through it after the first year of bull riding and had lived pretty low-key in the meantime—more than enough for a down payment.
