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Then again, change happens slow in these parts. Sometimes that’s a good thing. But others? Not so much.

I can tell my brothers are thinking about our father, too, by the way they get quiet.

So many years later, and his death is still a weight we grapple with daily.

“All right, y’all,” I say, forcing cheeriness into my tone. “I gotta get to this meeting. But I’ll see you at the bonfire, all right? Samuel, make sure that cider’s nice and strong.”

“Always do,” he says. When you’re paying as much as you do to stay at the resort, a heavy pour in your cocktail is the least you should expect.

Samuel heads inside the restaurant, and Hank heads for the pavilion at the bottom of the hill to do his sound check.

Me? I’m off to meetings.

All the while counting down the minutes until I get to see Annabel again.

To: Annabel Rhodes ([email protected])

From: John Riley Beauregard ([email protected])

September 29, 2003 11:11 AM EST

Subject: Blue Mountain Farm

I’m sitting next to you at the library right now. I’m bored, but you’re *shockingly* engrossed in a textbook, so instead of annoying you in person, I’ll annoy you in an email.

So, my family farm. I have big plans for it. We’ve got a hundred acres located ten or so miles outside Asheville. It’s been in the Beauregard family for generations. My parents have kept it up, but ever since my dad’s been unwell, the property’s kinda become a bit of a mess. It’s just too much for my mom to handle on top of caring for him, plus, you know, her five kids. She’s got some help coming in a few days a week for Dad, but she’s still doing the heavy lifting.

Here’s what I’m thinking. Recently when I was traveling with the team, I stayed at this five-star hotel out in Arizona. Bel, I’ve never been anywhere like it. It wasn’t just a hotel. It was an experience. The property was huge. It had hiking, shooting, biking. Pools and restaurants and just this scenery that made you wanna die. Service was top-notch, too.

The whole time I was there, I was taking notes. I thought, hey, what if I turned Blue Mountain Farm into a resort like this? I could turn our old barn into a restaurant, and build these, like, cool guest houses and cottages. Make it feel like a destination, you know? With activities my siblings and I grew up loving. Fishing, shooting. EATING. We’ll hire the best chefs and have the best food.

You’ve known me for a month, but you already know how much I love my food. Mama is a great cook, and my brother Samuel is following in her footsteps.

Now, I know the budding economist in you will want to know where the money for all this is coming from. Lest you forget, I have big plans for my football career, too. I’m hoping I’ll get drafted so I can play for a pro team, make pro money, and save my pennies. Then when I’m retired, I’ll start my second act as CEO of Blue Mountain Farm Resort.

Fancy, right?

Maybe I could even convince you to come work side by side with me. Is there such a thing as dual CEOs? If there isn’t, there should be. Because we all know you’re a hell of a lot smarter than me. I really, really hope we’re still in each other’s lives then. Can you imagine your world without me in it? Didn’t think so.

By the way. I never want you to apologize for falling apart like you did the other day. It’s okay, seriously. I’m happy to listen. Always. Whether it’s about the divorce or the d*ck you saw in your latest favorite porn or those big dreams you’ve got, I’m here, all right?

I’ll let you get back to your textbook. Wanna watch a movie later?

Beau, your friendly future CEO (& shoulder to cry on should you ever need it)

Chapter Four

Annabel

I glance down at the tiny blue pill in my palm.

Glance up at the mirror.

I look fucking tired. I feel it, too. This bone-deep, dreadful exhaustion that is so terrible it borders on numbness. Like I’m disassociating from it or something because it’s just too awful to face.

To feel.

I’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but now I just hope these little pills work. I’ve been taking them for a week now, but the jury’s still out.

After popping the pill in my mouth, I wash it down with a big gulp. The water tastes different up here. Cleaner. Colder.

Hanging one of the fluffy white robes I found in my closet on the hook beside the shower, I climb in. My legs ache from this morning’s drive, but I’m determined to go out tonight. The bonfire sounds fun. Plus, I really do want to catch up with Beau. Something’s going on with him; I can feel it.

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