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A beat of heated silence passes between us.
“Stay,” she whispers. “Because I’m not staying, Beau. Let’s be realistic. My life is in Charlotte. I have a job there. Friends. Family. And your life is here, on Blue Mountain. Whatever we’re doing—it ends when my stay here does.”
I should be relieved by this.
Instead, I feel a crushing sense of disappointment.
That, and a perverse kind of hope because…
“You’ve thought about this.”
“I have. And even if you didn’t think your life is over—”
“I stand by that. I think.”
“Well, I don’t. But even if it were true, we’d still have a lot to figure out if we were to…you know. Be together. For real. So let’s not think about that. Let’s think about right now. You and me. Spending the night together while we can.”
Tearing a hand through my hair, I say, “Honey, I hear what you’re sayin’. But that’s how people get hurt.”
Bel shakes her head. “C’mon. We blew past that point a while back. It’s gonna hurt no matter what. So let’s be together, because really…” Her throat works on a swallow. “What’s left to lose?”
My stomach dips at the idea that Bel is in love with me, too. Are we both that far gone?
Is that what she’s confessing?
I run a hand up the back of my head. She’s right. It’s wrong, what we’re doing.
But she’s also right about this, too. If we’re gonna break each other’s hearts anyway, why deny ourselves these last bits of time together? Why not give in and stay?
What harm can one night do?
I only need to look to the night of the bonfire to answer that question.
But the word comes out of my mouth anyway.
“Yes.”
Her eyes soften. “Thank you.”
I shouldn’t ask, but the selfish prick in me wants to know. “How long you think you’re gonna stay up here?”
“Matt and I decided my new start date is April first, so…”
She searches my eyes, and my heart contracts.
“So you’ll stay until March thirty-first.” The words tumble out of my mouth, thoughtless and dangerous but honest. This is honestly what I want. “Gives us, what, a couple more weeks and a handful of days?”
It’s not enough.
It’s too much.
Considering how fast things have happened over the past week, I can only imagine how much our relationship will progress over the course of nearly a month.
Case in point: I just went from talking about staying the night to Bel staying for weeks.
But I’m starving for her company. And she just said she knows whatever’s happening between us has an expiration date.
The line between friendship and romance is blurred. But our deadline?
That’s crystal clear.
“I’ll need to leave earlier than the thirty-first,” she says. “Get my life together back home and everything.”
“But not too much earlier.”
She puts a hand over her eyes with a smile. “Sure. Yeah. We’ll see how it goes.”
“I know how it’s going to go. You’re staying until the thirty-first.”
I curl an arm around her middle and pull her against me. She feels warm and soft.
Me, though? I’m not sure what I feel.
Excited. Horny. I have Bel all to myself for weeks.
But I also feel this deep, deep pain buried within the good stuff.I only have Bel for two weeks and some change.
Letting her go is unthinkable.
But two weeks . . . it’s better than none.
I’ll take it.
I’ll cherish the time we do have.
I’ll cherish her.
To: Annabel Rhodes ([email protected])
From: John Beauregard ([email protected])
August 24, 2015 2:57 AM EST
Subject: engagement party
Here I go with another 3 AM email. My insomnia has gotten so much worse lately. Thank God I’m retired. I have a lot on my mind and thought why not do something other than stare at the ceiling all night, so here goes. I’m sorry in advance if this upsets you. But as your friend, I gotta be honest.
Tonight was great. Really, really great. You looked so beautiful, Bel. Your friends are top-notch and so are the people you work with, and it’s clear they all love you. No surprise there.
But Bel, I’m not convinced you looked entirely happy. Did something happen between you and Ryan?
Which leads me to my next (very loaded) question: are you sure you really want to marry him? If your answer is yes, then of course I’m happy for you. Really, I am. I want the world for you. But I just get this feeling…I don’t know. He checks all your boxes. Successful, handsome. A little Johnny Wall Street for my taste, but that’s fine as long as he lights you up. Tonight, though, you definitely weren’t glowing. And I want to know why. Maybe it’s none of my business, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I also can’t stop thinking about how he was showing you off to all his friends. Like you were a prize he won or something. I don’t know, it just rubbed me the wrong way.
