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She nods. “I’m ready. Please, Beau.”

I sink into her slowly. My cock and my finger, inch by inch, as slowly as I can go. The effort to hold back is making me shake harder.

“You feel so fucking good, Bel. So sweet.”

“You do, too,” she whispers, eyes closed.

“Honey, I need you to look at me. I need to know you’re okay.”

She glances at me over her shoulder again with heavy-lidded eyes. The minute our gazes lock, I lose it.

We speak without saying a word.

She wants, so I give.

I glide all the way in, just my cock, and her lips part.

I need, and she allows me to take.

She lets me draw out, then slam back in, my balls slapping against her. All the while, I play with her asshole with my finger halfway in. I feel myself move inside her as I thrust, each one harder than the last. Thanks to the generous amount of lube we’re using, I go in and out smoothly. It allows me to set the pace at a punishing rhythm.

Bel moans, brow creased, and then she smiles. Dimple and all.

This is fun.

When was the last time I had fun fucking someone? I’ve had good sex. Sweaty sex. Interesting sex and ambitious sex, too.

But fun sex?

It’s new, and it’s awesome.

Blood gathers in the head of my cock as I slam into Bel again and again. My balls tighten even more.

Before I can even warn her, I come. I take my finger out of her and grip her ass cheeks for dear life as my body rocks in time to the shockwaves. I’m shouting, I’m cursing, and Bel is still smiling as genuine pleasure softens the hot edge in her gaze.

She’s taking pleasure in my pleasure.

Another first.

I’ve been used before, which I didn’t always mind because I wasn’t exactly a saint myself. I’m not proud to admit that I’ve used people, too. Guess it was a weird way of protecting myself and my heart. I saw so many guys lose so much to people who took advantage of them, and I swore up and down that would never be me.

It worked. But it made for a very lonely existence.

A selfish one.

But sex with Bel feels anything but selfish. On both our ends. I care more for her pleasure than I do for mine. By far.

From the look in her eyes, she feels the same.

It’s like getting thwacked in the chest by an errant foot, cleats and all.

“You okay?” Bel asks.

I didn’t even realize I had a hand on my chest. I’m practically wheezing.

“Chest pains. Heart attack, maybe.” I wave away her concern. “Nothing to worry about.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Jesus, Bel, I may be crotchety for my age, but I’m not that old.”

Laughing, she pushes up onto her hands and leans forward, guiding me out of her slowly. Then she turns around and stands up.

She wraps me in a hug. Face in the crook of my neck. Arms around my waist.

She holds me.

I let myself melt into her embrace. Exhaling, I feel so much—satiation, joy, despair—that I just decide to feel flattened and leave it at that.

I hadn’t realized how much I’d held myself back with Gretchen. Not until I felt so free to be myself with Bel. I can be fun and naughty and a mess, and she wants me anyway.

Resting my chin on the top of her head, I close my eyes and revel in the feel of her hair against my skin and the press of her nipples against my chest. The soft sound of her breathing, and the just-there feeling of her heartbeat.

It’s an exercise in self-flagellation.

My mood descends to flatness.

Depression.

It happens this way sometimes. You open the door just a crack, and a bad mood—a sense of hopelessness—comes rushing in like a wall of water, Titanic style.

It’s the worst kind of letdown there is.

“Hey.” Bel digs her fingers into the furrow of my spine. “You’re tensing up. What is it?”

I decide to be honest.

“Weird mood just kinda hitting me. My depression at work.”

She tightens her arms around my waist. “I know what that’s like. What can I do?”

“Nothing. Just have to ride it out. Maybe I’ll hit the gym or something. Sometimes that helps.”

Bel shakes her head. “Fuck the gym. We already got our workout in. How about I ride it out with you? I’ll grab Maisie and the fifteen thousand things she’ll need and the three of us will snuggle on your couch. Watch trash TV or, I don’t know, a Disney movie or something. Because I have a baby now, and I guess that’s what you do with babies and TV.”

I pull back and look down at her. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” She shrugs. “I mean, don’t get too excited. Maisie’s been super gassy today, so…yeah, she might not be the best company. But she is cute when she’s not farting, or screaming, or blowing out her diaper…”

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