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I may not be able to give her sister a kidney, but I sure as hell could give all of me to Portia.

A tap on the shoulder that Portia wasn’t leaned up against had me opening my eyes startled.

It was Montgomery Kingston.

I blinked a few times to make sure it was indeed a reality and not some overly tired and twisted dream, but when I saw my old friend’s concerned face, and his head motioning for me to come speak to him, I knew this nightmare was indeed a reality.

The Order had found me.

They knew Portia and I had left… all was lost.

I wasn’t sure how to move without waking Portia, but she made it an easy decision when she lifted her head and looked at Montgomery.

“They know we left?” she asked Montgomery.

He nodded. “They do.”

“It was an emergency,” I said.

Montgomery nodded sadly and then looked at Portia with deep sympathy written across every inch of his face and in the depths of his eyes. “I’m sorry about your sister. When The Order of the Silver Ghost heard… well, when I heard… anyway, I’m really sorry.”

She nodded and then stood. She stretched her body and rolled the kinks out of her neck. “I should go check on Reba and see if there’s any updates,” she said.

I reached for her hand and squeezed it, silently telling her I was there for her if she needed me.

When she left the waiting room, I spun my attention to Montgomery. “So, are you here to tell me that we lost the Initiation? Did they send you to do the dirty work?”

“I wanted it to be me,” Montgomery said. “And no, you haven’t officially failed it yet. They’re calling for both of you to return to the Oleander to face the music.”

“Why bother?” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “Frankly, I couldn’t care less if I ever step foot in that house ever again.”

“You both were nearly done with the Trials. Don’t you want to see if they’ll make an exception, considering the reason you both left?”

“I’ve never known the Elders to be merciful or caring in any way. Rules are rules,” I said. “You know this as much as I do.”

“Don’t admit defeat,” Montgomery said as he took the empty seat beside me. “I know why you were doing it. I also now know why Portia was.”

“A kidney,” I said. “She was doing it to save her sister’s life.”

I shook my head, feeling so shallow and low. My reason, and every person’s reason for doing the Initiation seemed so small in comparison. The Order of the Silver Ghost were the kingmakers and the dreammakers, and they had the power to grant Portia her wish. But now… well, it didn’t really matter now. What was done was done.

“How’s her sister doing?” Montgomery asked in a soft voice.

“Awful. Dying. She’s in a lot of pain, and the staff are trying to do everything they can to make her comfortable, but it’s not pretty. Portia’s sisters went to get some sleep which is good. But Reba’s going downhill fast.”

“And they can’t get her a kidney?”

“Not fast enough. No.” I leaned forward with my elbows on my legs and ran my hand through my hair. I was pretty sure I looked like a hot mess. It was my first time spending hours upon hours in a hospital, but I had no intention of leaving without Portia.

“I tried to make all the calls I could.” I shook my head. “I even went to the Administration and did what I swore I would never do in my life. I tried to use the VanDoren name to get what I wanted. It was useless.”

“The Order can get that kidney or they wouldn’t have granted Portia’s request before she started the Trials,” Montgomery said.

“Right, well we clearly fucked that up. I seriously doubt they’ll just hand me an ice cooler with a kidney in it as a consolation prize for failing the Initiation.”

“You didn’t fail. You disqualified,” Montgomery said. “And we don’t even know that. They’re asking for you both to return and address this.”

“I’m not leaving Portia,” I said. “Not even an option right now. And Portia isn’t going to leave her sister, so there’s—”

“We’ll go,” Portia interrupted as she entered the waiting room. “Reba’s sleeping and my sisters are on their way here again.” She looked at me. “We need to go face this. Probably nothing will come out of it… but if there’s any chance for that kidney… if they have any compassion at all…”

Her tear-filled eyes came to mine. I wasn’t sure how to tell her I didn’t think the Order knew what the word compassion meant. It wasn’t in their fucking dictionary.

I stood up and put my arms around her and whispered into her ear, “The Order. The Initiation. It’s all noise. Ignore it.”

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