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I noticed the stricken look on Kyle’s face and remembered he was in the same boat. I put my hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry you’re going through this too.”
Kyle put his fist in the air. “Single parents unite!” We high-fived and laughed, though it was strained. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t understand how Josie can drop her off and decide she doesn’t want to be in our daughter’s life. She suffered from postpartum depression after the birth, so maybe there’s more going on and I hope she gets help if she needs it. But like you said, children deserve stability and if Josie can’t provide that, then it’s probably best she’s not around. I have to focus on Katie because she’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and I’d do anything for her.”
I looked into the living room where Whitney was still walking Katie around the room, swaying her body to keep the little girl calm. “I think there are a lot of people that would do anything for that beautiful baby.”
Kyle’s face softened again as he watched Whitney with his daughter. “I should get in there.”
I nodded in agreement. “Yes, you should.”
And at that moment, surrounded by my loved ones and with my baby growing inside me, I felt a stirring of strength that hadn’t been there before.
I missed Jeremy.
I missed him so much.
Because I loved him.
But if that wasn’t enough for him then I’d make it on my own.
And I would make it work.
Chapter 20
Lena
“Are you sure we can’t convince you to come out with us? The Pattersons specifically asked if you would come. You always love their parties,” Mom insisted, putting her wool coat on over her shimmery silver dress.
Dad was dressed in a tux with a white cashmere scarf draped around his neck. “The food is going to be amazing. And they’ve hired some Ariana Grande cover artist for entertainment. It should be a hoot,” he said, giving me a sympathetic smile.
I was getting really sick and tired of all the goddamn sympathy.
The idea of being alone on New Year’s Eve should have depressed me, but I had been surrounded by well-meaning family and friends for the past week and I could use a break. My morning sickness hadn’t been as bad the last couple of days, so I was making up for the lost time by pigging out on all the delicious food Mom stuffed the house with over the holidays.
“I’ve got a hot date with Mom’s shortbread cookies and Ryan Seacrest. Go have fun. Don’t worry about me,” I assured them, giving them both a hug and all but shoving them out the door.
“We’ll be home right after midnight. If you need us, we’ll have our phones with us, or you know Patterson’s number. Don’t hesitate to call.” Mom looked a little panicked and I had to stop myself from getting annoyed. She meant well after all.
“Mom, I’m not ten. I can spend the night by myself. I do plan on going back to my apartment this weekend and I live there alone. So, I promise, I’ll be just fine.” Mom hugged me again and I held on tightly, appreciating her concern, even if it was mildly suffocating.
After I closed the door, I settled on the couch and turned on a fantastically horrible Lifetime movie, ready to settle into an evening of trashy TV and equally bad snacks.
My phone buzzed only a few minutes later with a message from Hannah, followed by a message from Jenna. Both were headed into the city to a club and were trying to talk me into joining them. Jenna was bringing her new boyfriend and even though I was curious about the new man in my friend’s life, the idea of spending the night in a loud club sounded awful.
Hannah and Jenna had been suctioned to my side since the whole thing with Jeremy went down. They were the best kind of girlfriends, showing up at my parent’s with ice cream and girlie movies.
As much as I loved spending time with my friends, I barely had the energy to walk to the store and back, let alone go out. Staying up all night would likely kill me at the moment.
It was hard not to think about how much my life was going to change once the baby was here. Hell, it had turned upside down already. No more clubs. No more wild nights at the bar. No more drinking until I blacked out. I was going to be a mom and with that came a level of responsibility that I am sometimes worried I wasn't ready for but ready or not, I had made the decision to have this kiddo, so I had to learn to be up to the task.
I pulled the fuzzy throw blanket over me and snuggled down on the couch, ready for a low-key night when the doorbell rang.
