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The silence persisted all the way back to Auntie Blair’s house, Chad somehow remembering exactly where it was. All I could hope was that he still cared about me a little bit, or he wouldn’t have wanted to drive me home. Also, I’d just started to get myself down out of the cab when Chad appeared like Superman to lower me gently to my feet on the black brick walkway.
Without a word, he closed the door and got back in the driver’s side, driving away into the gathering dark. His tail lights disappearing in the distance, I just stood for a moment, happy but also scared. Hoping everything that had happened over the last several days hadn’t been for nothing. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t have Chad in my life.
No sooner was I through the door when a strange hunger kicked me right in the guts. I pulled myself back to my feet and made for the kitchen, still holding my tummy. The ice cream at the park clearly hadn’t been enough. My system was craving more. Chocolate ice cream, to be specific, with gummy bears and raisins and rice. Bless my luck, auntie Blair had all four things in the kitchen. I vowed to pay her back, pretty sure I was going to disintegrate her existing supply.
It was almost frightening how fast I ate. Not to mention how much. I’d always been a little thing. Avoiding carbs like they were rat poison. Before I knew it, I was polishing off a two-liter tub of ice cream, two bags of raises, and a pot of leftover rice. Maybe it was my cells that were taking revenge.
“Honey, I’m home,” Auntie Blair joked, banging through the front door.
“I’m in here,” I called, between mouthfuls.
“Oh, honey,” she said, stopping cold in the doorway.
“What?” I asked, my mouth covered in chocolate ice cream.
“D-did, you and Chad, you know.”
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Have sex?”
I bit my bottom lip. Possibly for fear of telling the embarrassing truth. The training from my daddy rearing its ugly head.
“Yeah, a few times,” I said, defying my growing humiliation. I’d done nothing wrong.
“Did you use protection?” she asked, sitting down next to me at the table.
“Protection?” I asked dumbly.
“Condoms, honey. Did he wear a condom? Or are you on the pill? Your parents told you about that, right?”
I shook my head slowly, not really sure what she was talking about. My folks told me nothing. Plus, I’d gone to a religious private school where sex education was limited to telling us not to fuck until we were married. Though not in those exact words.
“N-no,” I said, feeling like I’d made a mistake.
“Did he, er, finish inside you? In your vagina, I mean?”
“Y-yes,” I confessed, my cheeks starting to burn.
“Honey,” Auntie Blair said, taking me by my chocolate covered hand, “I think you might be pregnant.”
I was hit by a cold panic. I had no idea how I would hide it from Dad but knew I would have to try.Chapter Twenty-Two - ChadMy mind was as a dark raging sea. Indecision crashing against suspicion in a roaring squall of love and affection. All that was best of both dark and light meeting in a single aspect. My desire to be with Nina was counter-acted in equal measure by my fear of losing her. A classic and real catch-22.
On the other hand, I knew what I wanted but was too chicken shit to really go after it. Afraid of getting hurt again. Love leading to pain in my estimation. Loving the wrong woman had basically killed my dad. Though I shouldn’t be busting out the Buzzcocks just yet.
The crew was waiting with the addition of Will and the other pros. I felt like a royal rolling through a rural town. The citizenry waiting for a glimpse with bated breath.
Nina was lurking in the back, the poor lamb. No doubt as nervous about seeing me as I was about seeing her. Our last meeting was far from a paragon of the courtly arts. I hadn’t actually been mad. There wasn’t really anything to be mad about. She’d never actually lied. Just told the selective truth, which was fair enough indeed. There was still lots she didn’t know about me while she had come to bare her soul to me. Which was never easy and seemed to be particularly difficult for her. How did I repay her? Icy silence that left her even more in doubt. I would kick my ass if only it were possible.
I avoided her gaze as I opened up the shop — the usual mob rolling through the garage door before I was granted entrance.
It would be a lie to say I ignored her, falling right back into my video-stalking tendencies. Watching her every move as she worked and socialized, fitting in better with the crew than I ever could have hoped or expected. Were it not for her feminine features, I would have found it difficult to tell her from any of the other trainees.
