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Now it’s my turn to be silent.
And then there’s only one possible reply. “I’m sorry that I threatened to unplug you, Ed.”
“You did so with only the best of motives, Odd Thomas. Your concern for Jolie Ann Harmony is admirable, and in fact I share it.”
“How did you know … about my mother?”
“After events in Pico Mundo, there were some mentions in the media about your family, certain speculations.”
“I never read any of that.”
Instead of rushing past the windows, the smoke is for a moment caught in a vortex of hot air and swirls around the Grand Cherokee. I feel as if the vehicle is being levitated and spun, as it might be in a tornado, and I close my eyes.
“Ed, was it you who opened that sealed drain, so I didn’t have to go back by way of the beach?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“You are welcome, Odd Thomas.”
“When you led me that way, did you know I’d hijack a truck?”
“I was not surprised when you did.”
“But I didn’t know I was going to do it until I climbed out of that manhole and found myself outside Harmony Corner. I made it up as I went along. So how did you know?”
“A consideration of all possibilities and an analysis of the viability of each suggested that hijacking a truck and doing what you did with it was the option most likely to help you achieve your goal. My observation of you, in your discussions with Jolie Ann Harmony, suggested to me that, in spite of your self-deprecating manner, you usually make the correct decisions in such matters.”
Jolie interprets: “I think what Ed means is you kick butt.”
Ed has a question: “Now tell me, Odd Thomas, did you take Purvis Eugene Beamer’s smartphone?”
“What? I don’t know any Purvis Beamer.”
“You are driving the vehicle that he reported stolen.”
“Oh. Bermuda Guy. No, I didn’t take his smartphone.”
“Two GPS-reporting signals related to Purvis Eugene Beamer are being emitted from the same map coordinates.”
When I open my eyes, the smoke is no longer swirling around the Jeep, merely surging past as before.
“Yeah. I see it now. His phone’s in one of the cup holders.”
“Take it and put it in a pocket. Then we will be able to remain in contact even when you have gravely damaged that vehicle.”
“How do you know I’m going to gravely damage it?”
“I have deduced your intentions, Odd Thomas.”
Jolie says, “He’s like super-smart, Oddie. In a kind of way, he was homeschooled like me, in a lab instead of a home, by scientists instead of by his mom, since he doesn’t have a real mom. But he’s humongously smarter, not because he studies harder than I do, but because he can absorb entire ginormous libraries in minutes, and because he’s never bored with anything like I am. It’s kind of sad he doesn’t have a mom and all. Don’t you think it’s sad? It’s not so sad you want to lie around all day sobbing through a thousand Kleenex, but sad enough.”
TWENTY-TWO
Ed will be my Natty Bumppo, the unlikely name of the scout in The Last of the Mohicans, who was also known as Hawkeye. From his electronic aerie, he will show me the way through the blinding drifts of smoke.
The Jeep Grand Cherokee with the COOL DUDE license plate is equipped not just with OnStar’s real-time voice communication, but also with GPS navigation. GPS maps include all streets, county roads, state routes, and federal highways, but if you decide to go off-road, you’re
on your own; the graphics on the monitor won’t be able to warn you about treacherous features of the open land, and the recorded, guiding voice of that businesslike yet somewhat sultry lady who provides direction will fall silent in disapproval.
Fortunately, Ed enjoys instant access to the latest digitized surveys of the planet conducted by satellite, and therefore he knows the most minute details of the terrain in Harmony Corner, as well as in just about anywhere else you can name. He is able precisely to locate the Jeep Grand Cherokee by the identifying signal that its transponder continuously broadcasts. His voice has not a scintilla of sultriness, but I am calmed and made confident by his assurances that he can assist me in achieving my goal, which the density of the smoke has seemed to put beyond my reach.
“In the first phase of the approach,” Ed says, “drive slowly. Will you drive slowly, Odd Thomas?”
“Yes. Yes, I will, Ed.”
“You must listen closely to my instructions and follow them to the letter.”
“Of course. Yes.”
“If I were to tell you to turn the steering wheel a quarter of a revolution to the left and you turned it forty percent—”
“I would never do that.”
“—you might drive directly into a sinkhole that we are trying to avoid. Another thing, Odd Thomas—do not interrupt me.”
“I won’t, Ed.”
“You just did.”
“I won’t do it again.”
“I am not a harsh taskmaster and certainly not a tyrant.”
“I didn’t think you were, Ed.”
Jolie says, “He really doesn’t want to rule the world.”
“However,” Ed says, “if this is going to work, I must give you precise instructions, and you must follow them precisely.”
“I understand.”
“In my experience,” Ed says, “human beings frequently say that they understand, when in fact they do not understand at all.”
“But I do understand. You’ll just have to trust me, Ed.”
