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She was still standing just inside the door of Brad’s room, transfixed, dizzied almost by the greedy fervour with which she was drinking in the sight of his barely clad body. A hot rush of shame flooded through her as she realised what she was doing. Quickly she turned away, stumbling back out on to the landing.
As a teenager, partially because of her upbringing and partially, she always assumed, because of her own nature, she had been rather naive and slow to reach sexual awareness, but even when she had her daydreams had been more of the idealised, romantic variety—of meeting someone with whom she would fall in love and marry.
The actual physical details of her lover-to-be had never been something she had dwelt specially upon, and, unlike other girls she had known, she had certainly never drooled over bare male torsos or compared the rival attractions of a pair of well-muscled, strong male arms with an equally well-muscled and strong pair of male buttocks.
Nor had she ever thought about men—or even one specific man—in any sexual sense in the years since; so it was all the more of a shock now to realise that, when she had been standing there watching Brad as he moved lazily and easily around the room, in her mind’s eye he had somehow or other disposed of his towelling robe and the Brad she had been watching had been totally and magnificently—very magnificently, she blushed to recall—male.
‘That was wonderful,’ Brad said when he had finished eating. ‘Irene mentioned that you’d be able to introduce me as a temporary member at your local health club. I’m certainly going to need to go if you keep feeding me like this.’
He didn’t look as though he needed to work out to her, Claire reflected, but then she had no idea what kind of lifestyle he normally lived; perhaps he exercised regularly at home.
‘I must admit I’ve been a bit lax about developing a proper exercise programme,’ he told her, answering her unspoken question. ‘But when the kids were younger we lived a pretty outdoors lifestyle, especially in the summer. We’d be out on the lake most summer evenings and weekends, swimming or sailing...’
‘The lake?’ Claire asked him enviously. She had always had a secret dream of living close to water. As a child it had fascinated her, and a boating holiday—any kind of boating holiday—was her idea of heaven, although the only time she had persuaded John to hire a boat their holiday hadn’t been too successful. John had preferred luxury hotels but she and Sally had had a wonderful time.
‘Mmm...the town is close by the edge of a lake and most folks locally spend a lot of their recreation time either in it or on it. We had a sailing dinghy and—’
‘I’ve always longed to be able to sail,’ Claire told him impulsively, and then flushed slightly. It was unlike her to be so forthcoming with someone.
‘Well, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t learn,’ Brad told her.
Claire shook her head. ‘Not at my age,’ she told him quietly.
‘Your age?’ Brad scoffed. ‘You can’t be a day over twenty-seven, if that.’
‘Well, I’m thirty-four in actual fact,’ Claire informed him quietly, but inwardly she acknowledged that it was flattering that he had mistakenly thought her so much younger.
‘Just because we’re not under twenty-one any more, it doesn’t mean that we can’t still have dreams,’ Brad told her softly. ‘In fact sometimes the older we get, the more we need them.’
He paused, and Claire knew instinctively that he was thinking about a dream of his own. What was it? she wondered curiously.
‘I’ve got this boat out on the lake; four years I’ve been working on her, stripping down the engines, making her seaworthy. I had this plan that once all the kids were off my hands I’d have some space in my life to do the things I want to do. I had this idea that I’d get the boat ready and that I’d then take off, sail wherever the tide and mood took me...’
‘Why haven’t you?’ Claire asked him quietly.
‘I got outsmarted by two wily old men—my uncles,’ he told her drily. ‘I was just on the point of telling them that I wanted out of the company when they beat me to it by announcing that they were both planning to retire—You don’t want to hear all this,’ he told Claire abruptly.
Yes, I do. I want to hear all about you...know all about you. Claire felt herself going rigid with shock as the words formed silently in her head but thankfully remained unuttered.
‘What about you? What are your plans for your future?’ Brad asked her, obviously wanting to change the subject.
‘I...I...don’t really have any,’ Claire admitted reluctantly. ‘I’ve got my work at the school, although...’
‘Although what?’ Brad pressed her as she paused and frowned.
‘There’s a strong chance that it may have to close. Lack of funding,’ Claire explained.
‘Then what will you do?’ Brad asked.
Claire shook her head. ‘I’m not sure, although it is always possible to find some kind of voluntary work even if...’
‘Even if it’s not exactly what you might want to choose,’ Brad supplied for her. ‘What would you prefer to do?’
‘I like working with children,’ Claire confessed. ‘There’s something about their hope and optimism, even those...’
‘You obviously love them,’ Brad told her.
‘Because they are easy to love,’ Claire responded. ‘And they have so much love to give...’
She should have had children of her own, Brad decided; she was that kind of woman—intensely loving and maternal in the very best sense of the word, and if he could recognise that then surely her late husband must have done too, so why...?
Their conversation was getting too intimate, too close to subjects that she didn’t want to discuss, Claire recognised, quickly getting up from the table, saying that it was getting late, that they still hadn’t discussed the terms of his stay with her.
Ruefully Brad took the hint and started to do so, outlining his requirements. They were less demanding than Claire had anticipated and the amount that he proposed paying her was so generous that it took her breath away. When she tried to tell him that it was too much he overruled her, pointing out things that she had overlooked, such as wear and tear, and reluctantly Claire found herself giving in.
In its box the kitten stirred and complained that it was hungry; Claire laughed as she went to pick her up. Oh, yes, she had the mothering instinct—in full strength, Brad acknowledged as he studied the tender way she held the small animal.
The phone rang just as he was on the point of going upstairs. Claire went to answer it and he could hear the wondering joy in her voice as she exclaimed, ‘Oh, darling...it’s wonderful to hear your voice! I didn’t know you were going to ring...’
Quietly he left her alone to enjoy her conversation with her lover, all his pleasure in the evening draining out of him. As he went upstairs he wondered savagely what the matter with him was. The last thing he wanted or needed was to get emotionally involved with any , woman, but especially with one who was not free to return his feelings.
‘You’ve reached a very dangerous—a very vulnerable—age,’ his sister Mary-Beth had teased him at Thanksgiving. He had laughed then, but now he wasn’t so sure that she might not have had a point.
Downstairs Claire clung happily to the telephone receiver as she told her stepdaughter, ‘I never imagined that you would ring. It must be costing you the earth...’
She could almost feel the warmth of Sally’s laughter as it filled her ear.
‘You’re worth it,’ Sally assured her, adding teasingly, ‘Besides, I know I can always get you to sub me from my next allowance.’
John had left certain monies in trust for Sally, from which she received a small quarterly income and of which Claire was one of the trustees, and Sally’s impulsive habit of spending this money before she actually received it was a standing joke between them.
‘Don’t be so sure,’ Claire warned her, laughing. ‘The FT index has fallen several points.’
‘Look, I must go,’ Sal
ly told her. ‘Chris is waiting for me.’ She blew a string of kisses into the phone before hanging up, leaving Claire to replace her own receiver with a warm smile curling her mouth. Darling Sally. How empty and joyless her life would have been without her—her life and her marriage. A small finger of pain poked mercilessly at the secret sore place within her heart that she kept so carefully guarded.
Hurriedly she ignored it, going to attend to the increasingly noisy demands for food from Felicity, blocking out the emotional pain with physical activity. It was, after all, a tried and true formula and one she had perfected over the years.
CHAPTER SIX
BRAD was not in a very good mood. He had just spent the morning going over the books and checking through the order book and it was obvious to him that things were in an even worse financial mess than he had predicted.
The sensible thing to do would be simply to cancel the franchise, close it down as a loss-maker and cut their losses. But if he did that...
How would Claire react to the fact that he was putting Tim out of a job—and why should he care?
He leaned back in his borrowed chair in his borrowed office—Tim’s office, in fact—and closed his eyes, considering his options.
If they made some improvements, tightened things up, developed a more aggressive selling stance and pulled in some more orders, there was a small—a very small—chance that they might be able to turn things around. But achieving that, meeting all those objectives—and they would have to meet them—would require some brutally demanding hard work and the kind of dedication that was synonymous with the term ‘workaholic’. The kind of man that Tim just was not—at the moment!
It would mean recruiting a new agent, someone who could motivate the self-employed fitters who installed the units to adapt the same positive, speedy approach to their work that the firm looked for in its American fitters. Mentally he reviewed the personnel on their home-base payroll. There was someone who could take on such a challenge—on a short-term basis—but how would Tim react to having someone brought in over his head?
The company needed a very different kind of management approach from the one it presently had if it was to survive and succeed.
