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Joshua stood in the ankle-deep water for long moments, staring out at the sunlight as it glinted like cut diamond shards on the ocean’s surface. Somewhere out there, past the pale blue of the shallow water line, Jan had drowned. She had died alone, overcome with helpless panic. Those had been her last moments. Joshua prayed fervently – as he had a million times since – that his dead wife was now resting in peace.
He lowered his head to say a silent prayer, and then drew his eyes towards the heavens.
“Honey, I’m sorry it’s been so long,” he apologized haltingly. There was a lump of emotion rising hard in his throat that he couldn’t quite choke out of his voice.
“You know that not a day has gone past that I haven’t grieved for you, and until the end of time, I’ll always remember you, Jan. But… but I know in my heart that you’re never coming back. I know that I have to cherish our memories, but also make new ones.
“It’s been three years, Jan. Three sad and lonely years in the dark of despair, but finally I’m finding my way out of the pain. I’ve met someone, Jan. She reminds me of you in as many ways as you are both different. She’s feisty and she’s passionate. Her name is Gabby. I think you’d like her…”
Joshua paused for a moment struggling to find the words to go on. He felt guilty, but he sensed too that Jan would be happy for him. He clung to that belief as he stepped back out of the water, back onto dry sand.
“I’m going to do my best to make the relationship with Gabby work,” he explained to the sky. “I’m ready to let myself feel again. I… I hope you will give us your blessing, my love.”
As if in a heavenly sign, one of the gulls swooped over Joshua’s head and then came to land on the sand by his feet. Boldly the bird waddled close to Joshua’s side, unafraid. Joshua held out his hand, and the gull fluttered its wings and perched timidly on his forearm. Joshua blinked, and then felt an enormous rush of relief sweep over him. The gull took to flight a moment later, seeming to carry the weight of Joshua’s guilt and burden away on its wings.
Joshua felt hot tears fill his eyes. He cuffed them away with the back of his hand and sniffed. His bottom lip was trembling as he blubbered the last few words.
“I’m a different man now to the one you fell in love with. I’ve turned into a hard cold shadow… but there is something special about Gabby that has drawn me back into the light. I think I need to start living and loving again, Jan – even though the prospect scares me. I know you’ll understand…
“I won’t come back to this beach again, but please know that I will always remember you, and always remember how precious your love was.”
Joshua lowered his eyes, and settled them back on the far blue horizon where the blue sky smudged into the dark steely shade of the deep ocean.
“Goodbye, Jan…”
Chapter 11:
Joshua wrapped the small box carefully and slipped it into the pocket of his jacket, then glanced at his watch. He had fifteen minutes before Gabriele was due to arrive for her nightly training session. Joshua took the time to rehearse the words he would say, making sure to get the tone and their meaning just right. He was surprised when he realized he felt strangely anxious and apprehensive.
When the doorbell rang, he was waiting impatiently in the foyer.
Gabriele was kneeling on his doorstep. She was dressed in a strapless white cocktail dress that hugged her figure and then flared at the hips. Beneath the hem of the dress Joshua could see her tanned brown knees on the concrete step.
She was looking up into his face, her hands obediently clasped behind her back. The position emphasized the flawless perfection of her skin and the narrowness of her shoulders. The dress was scalloped and lacy around her breasts. Gabriele had spent an hour on her makeup. Under the porch light her face glowed and her hair shone like a black shimmering wave down her back.
Joshua held out his hand. “Come inside.”
Gabriele used Joshua’s grip to draw herself elegantly to her feet. She had a small white clutch purse in her free hand. The outfit looked brand new to Joshua, and he wondered how much she had spent. Whatever the cost, it had been worth the investment. Gabriele looked stunning.
“I know tonight is a training session, but that will have to wait,” Joshua began, “because I’m taking you to dinner.”
Gabriele’s expression filled with a light of excitement and surprise. “To a restaurant?”
“Yes. The ‘Sandhurst’. It’s the new restaurant at the Charlsten Hotel.”
“I’ve heard of it,” Gabriele went quiet with awe. The ‘Sandhurst’ was one of the finest establishments in the city.
“We have a reservation for 9 pm.” Joshua checked his watch again.
“Will we return here afterwards for training, Master?”
“Yes,” Joshua nodded. “But the dinner itself is more than just a meal, Gabriele. This will be your first public outing with your Master… apart from the night in the restaurant parking lot. I hope you remember the lessons you learned on that occasion. I expect your behavior tonight to be exemplary.”
She nodded her head. She felt a small thrill of delight at the prospect of being seen on Joshua’s arm.
“I have learned a great deal since that night, Master.”
Joshua grunted. He had car keys jangling in his pocket. He led her through the house towards the garage and Gabriele followed him obediently, her heels clip-clopping on the floor and echoing throughout the empty house.
Joshua held the passenger door of the car open for her and Gabriele slid into the seat, deliberately giving Joshua a flirtatious look all the way up to her white lace panties as she splayed her legs to settle herself comfortably.
Joshua noticed, though his face remained impassive.
The car’s engine started with a throaty rumble of anticipation. Joshua nosed the vehicle out of the garage and steered towards the distant lights of the city.
In the soft muted glow of the car’s dashboard lights, they were isolated and insulated from the rest of the world. Cars streamed past, and the lights of the distant city seemed to beckon them. Shopping malls, apartment complexes, and housing suburbs drifted by beneath the throaty hum of the engine.
Gabriele was curled up in the deep leather of the bucket seat, staring down the beams of the headlights. Her mind was locked in its own turmoil of apprehension and excitement even though she knew she was making a mistake by allowing any emotion to interfere with Joshua’s plans for the evening. She had been trained to disconnect her own feelings, and to immerse herself instinctively in submission.
But her excitement and apprehension were powerful distractions. She sat in the silence and pursed her lips, becoming withdrawn by the grips of her internal struggle.
Joshua was driving unhurriedly, his own mind focused on his plans for the night. Each time he flicked his eyes from the road to study Gabriele’s profile, he saw the frown on her brow. The next time he checked, she was gnawing at her lip and her hands were clenched tight in her lap.
He sensed her anxiety.
“You will stroke my cock while I drive,” Joshua commanded, slicing across Gabriele’s thoughts and dragging her suddenly alert.
“Master?” she wasn’t sure she had heard Joshua correctly. He was staring through the windshield at the surrounding traffic, watching the taillights of the car ahead as they flared red.
“You heard me,” he said.
