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“Yes.”
“Why?”
“To test your resolve,” Joshua’s voice hardened. “To be absolutely sure that you really want to learn about the lifestyle. Once you complete the ten sessions, all the money you pay is returned to you.”
Joshua’s explanation came like a rebuke, and for a moment Gabriele felt chastened and guilty… as though she should never have doubted this man’s morals. “I… I didn’t know that,” she dropped her voice.
“And if you fail to complete the ten sessions, then the money you pay in advance is all donated to a women’s refuge that I support in the city. It’s a volunteer-run venture that helps women who have suffered at the hands of domestic violence. I have written receipts to verify each donation,” he began reaching into a desk drawer. Gabriele held up her hand to stay the movement like she was apologizing, and then fell awkwardly silent.
Joshua took the moment to re-set his mind. He wasn’t angered by Gabriele’s questions – not at all… but he recognized that his own fervor for the lifestyle sometimes revealed itself in tones that were unintentionally brusque.
It wasn’t umbrage – it was passion.
He smiled his own apology, and the gesture crinkled the skin at the corners of his dark eyes. “Would you like a drink?” Gabriele recognized the question as a peace offering. She nodded her head.
Joshua turned in the chair to a small cabinet set beneath the bay window. “What would you like?”
Gabriele shrugged. “It doesn’t matter.”
He splashed scotch into two tumblers. “With water, or neat?”
When she had her drink in her hand, Gabriele sipped contritely, swallowing small measures like it was medicine. The silence in the room stretched out; the disconnect between them mending then circling back to a taut sense of tension.
“Why are you interested in the training I offer, Gabby?” Joshua asked at last, deliberately softening his voice to encourage her answer.
She shrugged her shoulders but knew immediately that not answering was never going to satisfy this man. “Being trained to sexually submit is very important to me.”
“But why?”
“Because I’m searching for something,” she said in a moment of profound insight – without recognizing the fact.
“Peace?”
“I… I don’t know,” her voice began to falter. She had to be careful. “I’ve just always been drawn to the concept of the lifestyle. The idea of a woman serving and satisfying her man…”
“Always?” Joshua frowned a little. “So the appeal of submission is something that reaches back to your earliest sexual fantasies?”
Gabriele squirmed a little in her seat. She had always been aroused by the concept of sexual submission. She remembered dreaming about it when she was still a young teenager, unsure back then even why the fantasy had been such a strong ingrained desire. But since her relationship with Randall that urge had faded before the tirade of his cruel cutting complaints, and the crude way he had taken advantage of her attempts to please him.
“Yes. Since I was first aware of sex,” she confessed, and then felt her face flush hotly.
Joshua shifted his weight in the chair, and the intensity came blazing back into his dark eyes. Gabriele had the sudden realization that the superficial chatter was over. The real interview had just begun.
“And what form did those early fantasies take?” Joshua’s eyes were narrowed. He was listening intently.
Gabriele started to shrug, then stopped herself. She felt her heart begin to beat faster and her mouth turned dry. She had never spoken about her secret urges to anyone.
“I used to picture myself in a dark room, kneeling under the glare of a spotlight,” she began in a dispassionate voice as though to distance herself from the memories. “I had my hands bound behind my back by chains, and there was a black collar around my neck.”
“Were you naked?”
“Yes.”
“And what happened in that room?”
Gabriele closed her eyes. To this day those early fantasies were still fresh and clear in every detail. “There was smoke swirling across the floor,” she said softly. “And then a masked man came from out of the dark.”
&nb
sp; “Masked?”
“Yes. His face was covered by a leather hood.”
“Was he naked?”
“Yes. And he was hard. He walked around me like he was inspecting me. I had my head lowered, watching his feet. Then he stood in front of me.”
“What happened?”
“He ordered me to open my mouth.”
“And did you?”
“Yes. He wasn’t cruel. He didn’t hurt me. His voice was reasonable.”
“Then what happened?”
“He pushed his cock into my mouth and instructed me how to suck him.”
Joshua tilted his head a little to one side. He was quite sure Gabriele’s obvious nervousness at retelling this story was also tinged with a deeper memory of pubescent arousal. He heard her desire gently welling up in her voice.
“How did this fantasy make you feel?” Joshua asked.
“Excited,” Gabriele said instead of what she really meant.
Horny.
“And did this fantasy man cum in your mouth?”
“Yes. Eventually.”
“And what were the deeper feelings, beyond your sexual excitement?”
Gabriele frowned, puzzling reflectively over her answer. “Satisfied,” she said at last. “I felt I was performing my duty. I felt… happily obedient.”
“Did you use this fantasy to make yourself cum?”
Gabriele lapsed into long tense pause, fraught with the last vestiges of her most intimate secret.
“Yes!”
Joshua leaned back in his chair, thoughtful and contemplative. “Do you know what submissive training actually involves?” he asked at last.
“Yes.”
Joshua arched his eyebrows with unfeigned mockery. “And where have you gleaned this understanding from? The books that you read?”
She paused and Joshua sensed the moment of her capitulation.
“Yes, from the books that I’ve read.”
Joshua nodded his head in slow understanding, tinged with his own regret. The truth was that he found this young woman captivating in a peculiar way. She had an intensity about her that he admired, and he was certain she had the desire to learn submission… but the picture-perfect fantasies she had filled her impressionable head with were a long way removed from the concentration and discipline that BDSM demanded.
