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Frankie’s eyes flash. Before she can think, she blurts out, “I don’t want him raised like you! He’s going to be normal!”
We both kneel on the floor in silence, unmoving.
She opens her mouth again and again, but gapes like a fish out of water. She finally utters weakly, “You know what I mean.”
I do, but it doesn’t make the statement any less hurtful.
She packs the last of her things off the floor and stands. “I know this is hard but I have to leave. I can’t stay here. It’s not possible.”
I want to argue but hurt and sadness have left me mute.
Her mind is made up.
I stand and ask softly, “Will you at least come visit?”
Frankie smiles a watery smile. “Yeah.” She hugs me. “Of course.”
I smile back and don’t respond to her blatant lie. Sniffling, I help her load her bags into one of the Kompressors and hug her for a few long minutes, quietly crying all the while. We clutch at each other, trembling through our mourning.
This is the hardest goodbye of my life. My best friend is leaving me. I love Ari. I love Bob and Clark. But they aren’t Frankie.
She drives away without looking back. Not ready to deal with human interaction right now, I sit on the bench under the large oak tree.
Closing my eyes, I breathe in deeply, taking in a few calming breaths.
“I know you’re upset, but I’d like to talk to you if you can tolerate me a minute.”
Bob.
I don’t open my eyes but let my shoulders sag in defeat.
The bench creaks under our combined weight and he sighs, “I never wanted kids, Cat.” My shoulders stiffen. He adds, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
I hate myself for feeling the warm fuzzies from his open admission.
“You were a surprise to me. A surprise to us all. I’ll admit that I only agreed to keep you until someone suitable came forward to adopt you. But you stayed with us. And that was all me.” He turns to me with a cautious smile. “Did you know that I fought to keep you?”
My brows bunch. I did not know that. I shake my head lightly.
He nods. “They wanted to take you away from us. I had to prove we were a good fit for you.” He chuckles, “And that was surprisingly hard to do. I had to get papers forged all over. I had to prove we had the money to provide for you. I had to prove we could school you, clothe you, feed you and a fuck of a lot more.” He places his hand over mine. “But you were worth it. All the headaches of the world and more. You were worth it.”
My fingers twitch under his and he grips my hand tight. “Want to know the exact moment I knew I loved you?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. “Frankie was just a kid. A runaway. She was a baby herself, and from the moment you arrived, she never left your side. Ari was in charge of feeding you, changing you, basically being a mom to you, but one day both of the girls were out which left me to look after you for the first time. So I was thinking that babies were messy, noisy things and I was already dreading it.”
I cut in with, “The beginning of this story sucks.”
He shushes me. “So I took you into my office and watched you while I worked. Before I knew it, I’d done everything I needed to. And it only took me two hours to realise that I hadn’t heard a peep from you. I look over and you were staring up at me with those big doe eyes.” He grins. “And you were smiling a toothless smile. So then I had to feed you, and I didn’t know which end was which. I tried to open the jar of food and I ended up splattered with apple sauce.” He chuckles. “And you laughed at me.”
I lower my face to hide my smile. Bob never talks about me as a baby.
This is a gift. A rare treat.
He sighs, “After I fed you, I had to bathe you and, boy, were you a little mermaid or what. Splashing around, squealing, laughing and kicking your little legs out. Every time you laughed, I did too. I dried and dressed you in your pink fluffy sleep suit and warmed a bottle. You fell asleep in my arms, and as you did, you reached up and touched my cheek with your little fingers.” His voice turns soft. “As I was watching you sleep in my arms, I knew I would do anything to keep you. And from that day on, you spent most of your days with me in my office. Keeping me company.”
My insides warm and my throat’s thick; I don’t say a thing. I can’t.
He adds emphatically, “I love you, Catarina. You’re my sunshine. Always have been.”
I swallow hard and respond meekly, “I love you, too.”
He sighs in relief. “Good, ‘cause I don’t know how long I would’ve been able to stand you being upset at me. Now, about Frankie…”
“She’s gone.”
“Yeah, she is.”
Then he says something that stops my heart and singes my insides.
“I need you to understand why I sent her away.”
Chapter Fourteen
My mind goes a hundred miles an hour. My breathing heavies as I clench my fists and seethe, “You- you sent her away?”
The expression on his face tells me he thought I already knew this.
I did not.
“How could you? She needs us. She needs you! And you sent her away? You’re going to be a father, Bob. Your baby needs you.”
Putting on his poker face, he adopts a distant tone. “I don’t want children. Frankie should have known better. We’re a church, not a brothel. Nuns don’t just get pregnant, Cat. People would know. We can’t risk it. We can’t risk our reputation. People trust us. They trust the church.”
I don’t buy it. “She could have gone into hiding for a while. Come back when the baby was born. We could have raised it as a family.”
“She’s aborting the pregnancy. There will be no child.”
My mouth gapes.
She wouldn’t do that. I know Frankie. She would never do that.
Or would she?
It’s then that I remember something Frankie said before she left.
“I don’t want him raised like you! He’s going to be normal!”
Standing, I utter, “I don’t know what Frankie told you, Bob, but she’s not aborting the pregnancy.” He tries to hide the look of surprise that crosses him, but I catch it. I begin walking backwards. “You’re going to be a father. Whether you like it or not.”
As I move to walk away, I call out without feeling, “Congratulations, Daddy.”
***
My chest heaves in unsteady breaths as I run from the crime scene. My heart thumps an erratic drum beat. Cold sweat covers my body.
This is fear. I’m sure of this because I’m about a second away from dirtying my panties.
As I bolt down a side street, I pant into the night air, “Someone want to tell me why the cops are on my ass?”
Red and blue lights flash. A siren wails in the distance.
My body now covered in a cold sweat, I realise this could have very well been my last job.
Clark speak into my earpiece. “Fury, you tripped the alarm.”
Impossible.
Hiding myself behind a dumpster, I hiss into nothingness, “No. I. Didn’t.”
Clark sighs, “You did. I have the monitored alarm reading up on my screen right now.”
I try to catch my breath in sulky silence.
Clark speaks softly, “Listen, it happens sometimes. Don’t sweat it. You got out. Bob’s on his way.”
Frankie’s leaving is fucking with my head. I close my eyes and try not to breathe in through my nose. This dumpster is rank. Resting my head against the ice-cold brick wall, I mentally lecture myself on how stupid I am for letting this happen.
This was a rookie mistake. And I’m embarrassed by it.
I spot lights brightening the alley and I move to stand. I don’t want to be here a second longer than I need to be, although I’m dreading the lecture I know one hundred percent I’m going to receive from Bob on the way home.
Still standing by the dumpster, I’m suddenly blinded by a bright light.
My eyes burn. I quickly lift my hand to block out the harsh assault on my peepers. I spot the gun before I get a chance to run. That’s when I hear the words I never thought I’d hear in my lifetime.
“Hands up!” No, no, no! “You’re under arrest.”
Well, today just keeps getting better and better.
***
The light shining in my eyes, I try to blink away the white spots that blur my vision but it’s a futile attempt.
“Raise your hands where I can see ‘em.” The rough voice does nothing to calm my racing heart. “Now slowly, making no sudden movements, I want you to lower the mask. Can you do that, Miss?”
